Why is it that so many of us simply believe that we can accomplish everything on our own? There are about 7 billion people on this earth, yet we each suffer in our problems and create a sheltered life that we have this burning desire to solve ourselves. After all, asking for help just shows that we must not be able to handle our own situation. We must be weak, incapable or worse, simply reliant on others to get things done. Society, especially in North America, has technologies, services and every other media available bombarding us with devices and techniques for us each to manage our own lives better and to get more done on our own. This is crazy! It just pulls people further and further apart, leaves people highly dissatisfied with their lives and makes a bunch of heroes and silos in amongst your small circle of friends and colleagues. Here is alternative to what seems to contradict everything everyone strives for.
Yup, let people know what they can help you with and simply, ask. Tell them why you need their help and why you are asking them specifically. Give them some reasons and opportunities to help and you will find that you will soon start deepening your relationships with your spouse, friends, family and God. This also opens doors for others to ask for favors and for help in return, which is certainly a good thing since you can be more involved in other’s lives.
Problem today is that people simply don’t like to ask for help. Especially the youngest generations as they have grown up with every possible invention and device to make them self sufficient. Its amazing how many relationships are stifled and stay at a superficial and shallow level simply because people are so unwilling to expose any kind of vulnerability in asking for help. Its not easy nor comfortable to expose oneself but its important to let others see where you need their help and allow them to provide it whenever they can. Doing this requires great courage and sacrifices some of your ego. It also quickly builds a relationship based on trust, a fundamental principal hugely lacking in this busy business word of personal drive for “success”. Patrick Lencioni demonstrates this well in his Five Dysfunctions of a Team book and Carnegie in his classic, “How to Win Friends and Influence People“.
So, to get started asking others for help you might want to consider asking others if they know of anything they think they could help you with. Find out about other’s interests and ask for help in areas that they are better than you at. Whether that is some soft skill, hobby, past time or anything really. If you learn about a person’s passion and their interest areas, those are the easiest places to get help for when you ask. Its surprising how willing most people are to help and don’t since they are never asked or afraid to offer.
Do you ever ask for help and if so, how do you go about asking?
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