There is a massive shift in today’s society in thinking that every individual has everything in them that they need to be successful, be happy and to achieve, no matter what they want in life. I certainly believe in each person having a great ability to accomplish things they desire and I also believe that that ability is not entirely driven by one self.
Societal Shift
Society in North America and other 1st world nations is all about enabling individual control, power and ability. This is further extended by continual shift that is marketed, publicized and encouraged for independence and individualism. People strive for this, believe in it and I believe at the cost of burdening themselves. There is less and less dependence on each other and even on systems that have long been depended on like community, family, agriculture, and especially, spirituality. This continual drive to control life and become everything you want on your own is obviously one that ties in heavily with personal development as well. I try to encourage that relationships, community, people and God are foundations for many of these things and I believe it’s important to keep those things real even among any desires to become the best person you can be. I think there is a need to realize the connections to each of those and how they are necessary.
Self Pressure of Failure
When a person spends a great deal of time on there own attempting to live up to some great expectation, there is often a great sense of pressure on that person. This is common for creative folks, artists and authors, especially ones who have create great works and have further works to produce. They have this continuous pressure to outdo and produce something at least as good and the creativity that might otherwise drive them to a new area can become a huge burden driving them into a pit of despair. (You may want to view this TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert for her perspective on that topic, as it is what triggered me here).
The Creative Mind
Gilbert looks at how a person in this state of mind must separate themselves from the creative aspects and realize that the creativity will come and go and should not be expected. I like this perspective and think that creativity must be left on its own to surface as it is something that cannot simply be turned on and off. I’d consider myself a creative person and while there are always things I can do to help spark creativity, my best creative moments are still never controllable and I must allow that to be separated from me as a person hoping to be creative on demand.
Escaping the Burden of Self
So, I believe there is a way to escape this burden of self. It’s in looking at the source of our desires, our talents and our creative juices. Those things do not come from within, we are given our talents by God, our desires are triggered by actions and influences in our environments and we learn how creativity can be revealed in our lives through interests, mindsets and understandings of everything around us, whether that is the work of others or Nature itself.
We must allow ourselves to avoid the self pressures, self expectations and self love that can drive us to a world of disconnected independence and despair. Those are often led with a message of achievement and success at the expense of others. Escape those burdens by basing your achievements, your relationships, and your creativity on the One who empowered you with those abilities through His gentleness, kindness and love. Know that who you are and what you are capable of is not your own doing, but by the hand of God.
Talking of a meek man…
“He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is, in the sight of god, more important than angels. In himself, nothing; in God, everything. That is his motto.” A.W. Tozer’s classic “The Pursuit of God.”
Hey thanks a lot Karl! Happiness is something that must be aligned with other things in your life for it to stay continuous, that is for sure. So many people spark with moments of happiness without ever finding a satisfying long lasting content, abundant and happy life. I have more to write on that subject in the future. I’ll have some thoughts soon on your articles at Chief Happiness Officer to publish, more on the idea of happiness through friendships at work, which is a great topic btw.
There does appear to be a weakening in place, due to the desire of many to stand alone while reaching for their zenith. The pressure involved when looking to remain independent in success is much larger than pressure that results with communication and interaction with others in place, because independent success is based more around an ideal than realistic results, and those realistic results can only come from interplay with others, along with their feedback. Others keep your sights set more reasonably, and when you cut them out thinking “I will save time spent with others and rise faster”, your goal ends up looking substantially more difficult to achieve.
I like the fact that you attribute God to our abilities. Without him nothing is possible. It’s good to depend on family and friends, then again sometimes we have to concentrate on ourselves, then embrace others to give us guidance and support. But God comes first, he always has the best advice. Excellent post.
Nice post, Mike. I’m a believer that success comes faster and easier through our interactions with one another. Besides, it’s way more fun to work towards success together than alone.
@Omar – Thanks and your point of having an appropriate time to embrace each area for guidance is something to learn as well. One source of help is not the ONLY source for it. We need others, no doubt!
@Laurie – Good point about fun, but I’m afraid some people (introverts especially) might think the opposite. I do think there is value in sharing the experience and work in it whether your a introvert or not though.
I especially like how you concluded by putting things in perspective and giving credit to our Grand Creator for any special talents or abilities that we may have. Realizing that these are gifts helps keep us to be both humble and appreciative.
Thanks Jonathan. Sometimes it’s a tough balance to portray our beliefs into our writing without seeming to push our own perspective. It seems that most are more willing to accept a creator responsible for our gifts and talents than they are to accept One as passage to eternity beyond this life. I’m happy to see some readers do agree and also accept some level of gratitude and appreciation to the hands of the Creator. Thanks for the comments, it’s encouraging.
The older I get, the more I learn that unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others are the basis for much stress and depression and many failed relationships.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:31 AM
Very well said. Gave it a Stumble.
Loved the Elizabeth Gilbert talk. She helped me see that we don’t need to be an island. We can rely on greater energy than ourselves.
I like how you said, “Know that who you are and what you are capable of is not your own doing, but by the hand of God.”
I’m a big believer in knowing yourself. When you know what makes you happy and productive, you make it easier to attain your goals.
March 10th, 2009 at 6:43 PM
Hey thanks a lot Karl! Happiness is something that must be aligned with other things in your life for it to stay continuous, that is for sure. So many people spark with moments of happiness without ever finding a satisfying long lasting content, abundant and happy life. I have more to write on that subject in the future. I’ll have some thoughts soon on your articles at Chief Happiness Officer to publish, more on the idea of happiness through friendships at work, which is a great topic btw.
March 11th, 2009 at 1:05 AM
Hi Mike.
There does appear to be a weakening in place, due to the desire of many to stand alone while reaching for their zenith. The pressure involved when looking to remain independent in success is much larger than pressure that results with communication and interaction with others in place, because independent success is based more around an ideal than realistic results, and those realistic results can only come from interplay with others, along with their feedback. Others keep your sights set more reasonably, and when you cut them out thinking “I will save time spent with others and rise faster”, your goal ends up looking substantially more difficult to achieve.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:54 AM
Well said Armen, well said…
March 11th, 2009 at 7:54 AM
I like the fact that you attribute God to our abilities. Without him nothing is possible. It’s good to depend on family and friends, then again sometimes we have to concentrate on ourselves, then embrace others to give us guidance and support. But God comes first, he always has the best advice. Excellent post.
March 11th, 2009 at 8:11 AM
Nice post, Mike. I’m a believer that success comes faster and easier through our interactions with one another. Besides, it’s way more fun to work towards success together than alone.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:09 PM
@Omar – Thanks and your point of having an appropriate time to embrace each area for guidance is something to learn as well. One source of help is not the ONLY source for it. We need others, no doubt!
@Laurie – Good point about fun, but I’m afraid some people (introverts especially) might think the opposite. I do think there is value in sharing the experience and work in it whether your a introvert or not though.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:41 PM
Extremely well done Mike,
I especially like how you concluded by putting things in perspective and giving credit to our Grand Creator for any special talents or abilities that we may have. Realizing that these are gifts helps keep us to be both humble and appreciative.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:17 PM
Thanks Jonathan. Sometimes it’s a tough balance to portray our beliefs into our writing without seeming to push our own perspective. It seems that most are more willing to accept a creator responsible for our gifts and talents than they are to accept One as passage to eternity beyond this life. I’m happy to see some readers do agree and also accept some level of gratitude and appreciation to the hands of the Creator. Thanks for the comments, it’s encouraging.
April 6th, 2009 at 10:15 PM
The older I get, the more I learn that unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others are the basis for much stress and depression and many failed relationships.
Good write!