Career Tip: Show Enthusiasm in ALL of Your Work
Business June 14th, 2010The Joy of Reciprocity in Relationships
There are a number of rules and laws that are often used to describe leadership, such as Steven Covey’s laws of leadership and specifically the law of reciprocity. This one happens to show up in leadership to me because leadership is so heavily dependent on building great relationships. I believe any leader has to be able to form strong relationships to lead and so I’ve put a spin on this law to look at it more specifically with the joy of reciprocity in relationships. The dictionary definition of reciprocity is:
A mutual or cooperative interchange of favors or privileges, especially the exchange of rights or privileges of trade.
That exchange of favors that seems so natural with benefits for both parties is also, unfortunately, what gets in people’s way before reciprocity ever occurs. People get caught up in looking for the immediate benefit to themselves in many situations and don’t initiate that generous first step of offering their own help or service first. They also often expect a favor in return or feel that they owe someone who has done good to them. This selfish thinking or score keeping often stops a good deed from being done in the first place, which over time limits the good deeds returned. Its a cascade effect and emphasizes cynical thinking and just reinforces the selfish attitude and solitude for an individual.
The law of reciprocity is NOT a law that can be measured in any instance of time or even between the same parties involved for the give and take. It works across ones whole life and so the payback or benefit can’t be recognized by looking at any scorecard with an individual or even in a specific relationship. Its a balance beyond any single measure, any single relationship and even beyond the time you serve here on earth (Romans 2:6 – He will reward each one according to his works)
Instead, what needs to occur is simple generosity. Be willing to offer help, give that time, pay for lunch, make that apology first, share some vulnerable personal story, step out of your comfort zone, make a step in faith, be brave, be first and be generous. Do this without keeping score, offer it every chance you get. Put the effort into your relationships without expectation! Everything about doing this changes your attitude, increases your outlook and joy in life and is eventually paid back, if not immediately, later in life and even in eternity. Every personal connection you develop is another opportunity in your life, both with business colleagues, friendships and family. A generous mind will graciously give AND accept offerings of help, money, service and advice. And these will come to you more naturally, and at the time of need for yourself or others. So, put everything you can into your relationships and experience the joy of that on its own and eventually the joy of the reciprocity that will occur if you simply put in everything you can and let the law of reciprocity occur!
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June 15th, 2010 at 1:48 AM
I think if you expect something in return it never happens…..as soon as you let go and just offer whatever you can with the sole intention of helping/serving someone else the rewards come in droves:)
Great post, many thanks,
Kate
June 15th, 2010 at 3:13 AM
Alot of big words used in this post, hopefully I understood the message properly. My take on the title post itself is… You really do want to show Enthusiasm in the work you are doing, after all… if you don’t… then what are you really doing the work for? In the end that lack of Enthusiasm will make it hard to continue for the long run.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:04 PM
Kate – Thanks for the comment and yes, one gets so much more when you look simply to serve with no expectations. Usually the wonderful things is that then it comes back to you in unexpected ways.
@Komodo – Not sure where the big words are, I certainly don’t know many. However, you are spot on, but unfortunately many people do work without any enthusiasm as they are simply in it to get a pay check, not much more.
November 2nd, 2011 at 11:36 PM
People expect friendships to come and go. If a person is feeling unhealthy in a friendship, attempts to improve the relationship are accepted. Sometimes the attempts are successful and the relationship moves towards reciprocity and flexibility. Sometimes the attempts are unsuccessful and people move on.