I’ve continued to be inspired by people’s 100 lists and you’ve probably seen many that I’ve highlighted in recent resource lists.  Dragos wrote one that triggered me to write another with his excellent post on 100 tips to write huge lists. This list is on my favorite subject and while the length of these lists makes them quite a challenge to make, this particular subject is one I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about and writing goals in so its a great topic for me to tackle in a list.  The items were actually fairly easy to come up for me without any research or added web surfing, but the real effort was then in putting a short description or example for each.

Anyway, I’m thrilled to have this list completed and can’t wait to experience and see the results of personally doing every single one on the list.  That is the challenge I made for myself and I hope you challenge yourself with some or all of these items as well.  This is also my largest single article ever and was awesome to create!  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it.  I’d love if you could help to share it as well, thanks.

1. Smile

This is a great habit to develop to start each and every day and to practice whenever you have the chance.  The great thing is that smiling at others is easy and takes nothing but a little effort.  Nearly everyone responds to a smile and it makes you and the other person feel better immediately.

2. Hold or Get the Door for Someone

Simple things are a great way to serve others and these little things can really make a great difference.  Stop and hold the door for someone whenever you get a chance you hold the door and let someone go in front of you.  This sends a strong message and you can really bump it up by combining this with #1, a great smile with the door offer.

3. Help someone get where they want to be

I mean when it comes to transportation or as a physical destination.  There are always friends, colleagues and family needing a ride somewhere or a pickup form a trip, vacation or event.  Perhaps it’s to be a designated driver for a group of friends.  Simply offer to help get there where they want to be.

4. Buy someone lunch

Buying lunch is not that expense, as many people do it everyday and when you have an opportunity when you are getting or eating lunch with someone, simply buy their lunch as well as yours.  Don’t offer, don’t tell them, just do it and don’t make a big deal about it.  Don’t say they can get the next one, don’t say they’d do it for you, just buy them lunch and leave it at that.

5. Pick up a hitch hiker

This one scares a lot of people and I will certainly include myself in that group.  However, it’s a great way to serve others and is a lot safer than we tend to think or what we are often taught about strangers.  It is also very safe if you think about where and when it is OK to pick up a hitch hiker and what people you want to pick up.  Often you can offer someone (a stranger a ride) when they are not trying to hitch hike and this is very safe.

6. Provide Road Side Assistance

People have car trouble all the time.  I’m sure you have at one point as well.  Whether its changing a tire, jumping a battery or calling for an expert for a tow.  Stopping to help someone can make a tremendous impact on someone who is struggling on the side of the road.  This is especially true with accidents and is sad when people leave in a hurry when they should be stopping to help and offer a testimony to ensure people are not taken advantage of.

7. Mow Your Neighbors Lawn

Little things make a big difference and little things for a neighbor can turn an unknown neighbor into a great friend.  Mowing a lawn or raking some leaves only takes a few minutes to do a little more than your own yard.  it looks better when lawns are mowed at the same time and while you shouldn’t expect it, often such favors will be returned.  I’ve experienced this one many times.

8. Invite someone over for dinner

An easy way to develop relationships is to have a meal together and so inviting someone over for dinner is a great way to serve them and that relationship.

9. Give a gift certificate

I love giving people living on the street gift certificates.  Gift cards for food or stores for basic needs like clothing you can buy pretty much anywhere and then instead of giving money to someone who you have no idea how they might spend it, you can give them something that they have to use for their basic needs.  I’ve given grocery store $20 gift cards to peddlers and they are always just thrilled getting it and it makes it easier for me knowing they can’t just turn around the corner and spend it on drugs or alcohol (you can’t buy alcohol in grocery stores here in Canada).

10. Help someone achieve a goal

People often struggle achieving their goals and every one of us can use help in some way.  Ask people about their goals and do what you can to help them achieve it.  Perhaps you make a suggestion of where to start or some person to refer, a course or knowledge or some personal tutoring or action to help them with, whatever it is, helping people achieve their goals is a wonderful way to serve others.

11. Share your dreams with someone

The more you think about your dreams and share them with others, the more likely they are to come true and for you to spend time on them.  So, sharing your dreams with someone and them sharing theirs in return, helps make those dreams more likely and timely.

12. Shovel snow from more than your own walks

If you live in a subzero climate with snow, shoveling the walks can be a regular event in the winter months.  Take a few minutes and shovel the walks for your neighbors or a local bus stop, or public pathway.

13. Write an article that helps people

This is an easy one for bloggers as it’s a regular event.  For non-bloggers however, writing is not always seen as a way to help people, but it’s incredibly helpful.  Pick a subject you know well and write an article about it and share it with people you know.

14. Teach something specific that you know about

Take writing one step further and teach someone something you know in person.  Take the time to help them learn it, to explain it and to have then learn from you.  Teaching is a great way to serve others and we all have an opportunity to teach others in areas we already have learned.

15. Listen intently in conversation

Conversations and communication can be difficult at times and in order to make it work and to serve others in a communication is to truly listen and to listen intently.  Others will feel values that you took the time to listen and they were actually paid full attention and that you cared enough to hear them out.

16. Always let others speak before you

Another angle of communication is in when you speak and when others speak.  To give to others and serve them in your communication, let them speak first and present their ideas.  Often the people who speak first are the ones credited with an idea (if you had the same idea to share as well) and it’s great to allow that credit and attention to be paid on someone else.  It’s a wonderful way to serve someone else when you know they had the same idea as you, but instead of stating that, you can simple tell them, “That is a great idea!”.

17. Volunteer in your community

This likely came to mind when you first thought about serving others and it’s a classic example of course.  There are many ways to do this through programs, organizations, clubs, groups, community associations and any other activities in your community.  There are often websites and directories for connecting volunteers and placements that would be good for them.  Do some searching around your community.

18. Host a homeless person overnight in your home

It’s sad that this is such a scary thing for people image themselves doing but what better way to serve others than to provide the most basic of needs for someone who really needs it.  There are many incredibly deserving and kind homeless people who simply can’t afford a home in our rich nations even though they have a job and family.  Helping these people out and to get to know them a little and provide some assistance is a great way to serve others.

19. Donate money to a charity

Pick the charity you like, or many and set aside some money to give to them.  The best way to give is to set it up to be an automatic width drawl so that the charity knows they can count on that monthly contribution and so that you make sure you do your giving before your other spending.  We all spend too much anyway.

20. Pick up loose garbage

Our cities are for the most part, quite disgusting.  There is garbage everywhere you go and it will never get cleaned up without people seeing the difference and by helping to pick it up.  Do what you can and stop to pick up some garbage instead of walking over it for a change.  I especially like to do this when I go out into the wilderness for a hike or ride.  I always come home with more than I went out with since I make sure I take a moment to notice and to pick up someone’s garbage left behind.

21. Be a mentor to someone

Everyone needs help to achieve their dreams and goals in life and mentor ship is an excellent way of providing that needed help, encouragement and guidance required.  Look for opportunities to mentor people and provide that benefit to someone else as a way to serve.

22. Give away your old stuff

I said it above and I’ll say it again.  We all have too much stuff.  Do a favor for people in need and give away some of the things you no longer need or use or wear.  Others would be happy to have it and it will help you simplify your life and enjoy your time more.  Find a few locations that you can drop off your stuff or call an organization that collects your goods to redistribute to those in need.

23. Buy someone a book

If you have explored LearnThis much, you know that I love books.  Well do someone a service and buy them a book to enjoy as well.  Don’t buy them a book though that YOU would enjoy, buy them a book that THEY will enjoy.

24. Be genuine with your apologies

Put some sincerity into your apologies and be genuine when you do make a mistake.  Own up to it and make the appropriate apology in person and in a serious tone.

25. Bring baked goods to work

No matter where you work and if you work with people, people love food.  Bringing in some baked goods or snacks is always appreciated.  You can do this with your colleagues or clients, just try to ensure the food is something most can enjoy and its best to find something that is not just sugar or unhealthy.  There are many great foods to share that are healthy as well and people do enjoy.

26. Compliment someone

Serving others has to be about them.  Compliments are a great way for you to focus something positive on them and brighten their day.  Find something you can be genuine about and give them the compliment with  smile and positive approach.

27. Help to organize charity event

Charities and non-profit organizations struggle to get people to commit to planning an event or attending a volunteer effort.  You can help out the organization AND the people it is serving if you help to run the charity or a charity event.

28. Be sportsmanlike on sports teams

Sports involve a lot of different personalities and sometimes emotions.  Playing very sportsmanlike and keeping your cool even when others do not, serves everyone playing as an example and often the source of calm for the rest of a team.  Do your best to stay calm, play with sportsmanlike conduct and encourage fair and fun play over competition and winning.

29. Encourage people

I just mentioned this for sports above but its possible in all areas of life.  You have endless opportunities to encourage people to do what they love, follow their dreams, achieve their goals and do the things they enjoy doing.  Encourage positive behavior and fun actions through you day, you will enjoy it more, help others recognize those same things and hopefully, keep more of those actions coming as a result in the future.

30. Give books you’ve read away

Not many people read all the books they have, let alone read them more than once.  If you have books you know you will not read away keep them in mind and anyone interested in that subject, simply give them that book.  I absolutely receiving free books from others and always enjoy reading them as I know there is someone to have a conversation then with about that book.

31. Be a friend to those who don’t deserve it

Friendship is often thought to be something that is earned.  Well serving others you not looking for what others earn, you are simply serving others.  Extend the offer of friendship to someone who doesn’t seem like they deserve it.  Perhaps they have made some bad choices in life, hurt you in the past or stuck in a difficult set of habits to break.  The best thing for them is a true friend and it’s a great way to serve if you can provide that.

32. Support mission and aid workers

There is constantly aid work going on around the world and traveling missionaries or support works in developing nations and disaster zones and they need support.  You can support them with funds, letters, time, gifts or any combination of those.  Spread the word as well and help these organizations grow, they are themselves doing a great service that deserves more support.

33. Share your creativity

Creativity sparks new ideas in others and ideas trigger change, growth and hope.  Sharing your creativity with others serves these same results and is a great way to connect with people as well.

34. Promote someone else’s idea

We all our own ideas but how often do you reinforce and encourage someone else’s idea.  Just one more way to serve and build others up.

35. Tell someone they are your friend

It’s funny how we don’t know how to classify as a friend or not.  Everyone has a different definition of this, but we all like to hear that someone is our friend when we do finally hear it.  Make it obvious if you are around someone new or you just don’t really know if they consider you a friend or not, to specifically say it.  Fit it into a sentence or an introduction or just a comment, like it’s great to do stuff like this with friends, thanks.

36. Introduce a friend to someone they don’t know

Friends make connecting with other people much easier and if you ensure you always introduce your friends to other people you know, it builds new connections and make more people feel welcome in a conversation.  It’s never fun to be the third wheel not knowing someone in the group so make sure you always introduce people to each other.

37. Talk to people at parties who look “out of place”

On the theme of meeting people and introducing people, often you can serve others by simply approaching them and introducing yourself.  It only takes a minute and can make a new person or someone who is uncomfortable or out of place to feel a lot better.  Invite them other into a group you are with, or just spend a few minutes to ask them questions and help them feel more comfortable.

38. Stay calm and don’t react in arguments

Arguments are a sure way to cause problems and staying calm may not be the easier thing to do (especially if you are under attack), but it is the best way to serve others both in the argument and seeing it indirectly.  If you can stay calm and not make the situation any worse, then you do everyone a service including yourself from not reacting negatively.

39. Support your loved ones no matter what

We often put higher expectations and judgments on those we love instead of accepting thing for who they are and their decisions.  There is nothing wrong with hoping for them to change or break away from destructive habits or decisions but there is a point at which you simply must support them as well if they make decisions or choices that you don’t agree with.  Isn’t that the best way to show you love them anyway?

40. Share successes

People learn from the success of others and so sharing both your successes and the successes of others with more people is an easy way for everyone to learn from those experiences.

41. Practice appreciate inquiry and positive dialog

Appreciate inquiry has so many benefits it’s a wonderful way to help people feel included, listened to, engaged with and ultimately it’s a way to bring the best out of people and what they are involved in doing.  I strongly believe in this one as it has such a focus on others and bringing out the best in people it is really an exceptional way to serve others.

42. Pay for the stranger’s coffee behind you in line

Head on through the drive through or even at a till in person and tell the cashier you would like to pay for that other person’s purchase as well.  You will quite likely surprise the cashier and the other person with such a simple act of kindness.

43. Offer your seat on the bus / train

Public transport is often quite crowded and its sad how selfish people seem to be when onboard.  Look for a chance to offer your seat or a helping hand to someone traveling with extra bags, children or perhaps a disability.

44. Operate a blog and give away great content

This is obvious one for me and I’m sure many of my readers here as well.  Blogging really is about serving others once you start writing for what your readers want, and not what you want yourself.  The best blogs exist because of the authors wanting to provide value and great content.  There is much to learn from blogging and the best part by far, is the way it serves others and connects you with people.

45. Take on a project as a DIY with a friend

Do-it-yourself (DIY) has many benefits and when you can offer to help a friend take on a project you are doing a great service for them.  Your help, support and perhaps expertise will bring you together to accomplish something and enjoy it when its done.

46. Accept others ideas without immediately judging them

It’s easy to be critical at times, especially if we think we have our own better idea.  Do a service to others and don’t discount or be negative towards their ideas.  Let them stand on their own and don’t immediate judge them.

47. Put and keep your cell phone out of site in conversation

This is a huge pet peeve of mine and I’ll never do it to others.  If you are in a conversation with someone, give them your full attention, face them and put your dang phone away.  It sends a poor message to be playing with your phone or answering it in the middle of a conversation.  You can’t serve someone when sending the message that whoever might be calling is clearly more important than you so I’m going to check right now.

48. Inspire others

This is a whole list on its own for ways to do this but we do all have things we are passionate about and enjoy.  Spread that passion and look to spark inspiration in others in sharing those.

49. Share appreciation aloud

People rarely feel appreciated enough even though it is incredibly easy to do.  Practice expressing what you appreciate about someone and do it aloud so they hear it and perhaps others will hear the same, share more or learn from you to do the same.

50. Share gratitude in life

Similar to appreciation to others, gratitude is usually expressed towards circumstances, gifts and talents and life and life in general.  Some show gratitude to God, to others or to their environment.  Be grateful for what you have, recognize the abundance you have to experience and share that gratitude with others.  Spreading gratitude and recognizing it is definitely a way to serve others.

51. Demonstrate perseverance

There are many ways to demonstrate perseverance but I’m thinking more specifically in the ways you are already serving others.  Taking items on this list and persevering to keep them happening, to keep on practicing, to keep on serving.

52. Make moral decisions

Moral decisions are ones that are considered to be right.  Moral decisions serve the general good and allow you to serve by making choices based on what is right and good.  We all have a moral grounding as human beings and it’s how we are created and how we think at the deepest fundamental levels.  Using that moral compass for our decisions serves others in these good decisions.

53. Live ethically

Ethical living has some parallels with moral living but perhaps more from the human defined perspective, and not human nature.  Ethics are largely defined by our cultures and society and so making that system stable and effective requires that we follow ethics and make decisions that take society into mind and use that in the way to live.  It’s all about what is right for many, a great way to serve others.

54. Share your mistakes with others

Mistakes are a wonderful way to learn and something that can easily be taught to others if shared.  Examine your mistakes and do more than learn from them yourself, share them with others.  You can gain a lot of trust in sharing mistakes and help others learn from those actions before they make the same mistakes.

55. Clap and cheer aloud

You often have a chance to clap for someone or even cheer for them at conferences, events or sports activities.  What about in meetings, daily work or even at home around the house?  Take a moment to recognize others and serve them by showing your appreciation for a job well done, an accomplishment or for taking on a new adventure.  Show them by clapping for them or cheering.  Bring others into the habit and use it often.  We do this in my workplace very often in meetings, after hearing good news or any accomplishment that is share with a group.  The cheers and clapping always bring on a smile and serves everyone involved.

56. Tell me about yourself

Tell me about yourself or introduce yourself are pretty common questions in interview and sometimes in business meetings with new clients or with new employees and colleagues.  Use this chance to share your values and principles instead of just your usual background like where you work, your educational background or where you live.  Tell someone what you value most, why and what principles you follow in all of your life.  This has much more significance, surprises people so gets remembered and creates a faster stronger relationship can typical introductions.

57. Magnify someone’s kindness

Visit BondChristian.com and read about magnifying someone’s kindness and then go do it.  Marshall wrote, “So how do you magnify someone’s kindness? You truly appreciate it. You accept it – you accept that in that moment, you are depending on someone else, that you really do need someone else.”

58. Be willing to describe your vulnerabilities

Vulnerability exposes oneself and is an catalyst to building trust.  When people see vulnerabilities, they relate quickly and connect at a stronger level which immediate builds trust with that person.  Vulnerabilities also humble oneself which leads to…

59. Be humble

There are many ways to be humble, not just in exposing vulnerabilities.  Giving credit to others, taking blame, talking about others not yourself, and avoiding the temptation to be right are all great ways to be humble.  Humility is goes hand in hand with serving others from a character trait perspective and the focus on others is what allows humility to surface.

60. Choose to be happy

Happiness is not something you seek, it’s not something you can find and its not something you can gain based on “if only…”, “when this…” and “as soon as this happens…” thinking.  Happiness is something you must belief you can have and you then have to choose to be happy.  You can be happy with hardship and suffering all around you and under terrible circumstances in your life if you truly believe you have that choice.  For all those that need outside influences to be happy, you can provide that service and choose to be happy and to be an example of happiness for those around you regardless of the circumstances.

61. Admit your faith and beliefs

How you possibly serve others if you do not share or admit for faith and beliefs with them.  Wouldn’t that be deceiving them, hiding things from them or even lying to them if you take it too far in fear of telling them?  If you truly have faith and believe in it, you HAVE TO also believe in the value of sharing it.  Yes, there are good times for this and perhaps some bad times, but you must be willing to admit your faith and belief systems.

62. Ask open ended questions

Good conversations depends a lot on questions and interaction between people.  You can give control of a conversation and draw someone into being more expressive with you by asking open ended questions that allow them freedom to respond with more of their thoughts and not just a yes or no answer.

63. Be a change agent

We need to change through life or we become complacent and we die within our trapped lives.  Change prevents that and allows people to grow and develop.  Obviously personal development is connected deeply to change and if you see the value in it, serving others should involve being a change agent to help make changes happen in your life, those around you and your community for the better lives of all.

64. Avoid and guard against gossip

Gossip can be disastrous to friendships, careers and other people’s lives.  Learning to avoid gossip and guard against it both for yourself and for others is a valuable service to engage in.

65. Live with purpose

Purpose is difficult to understand if you don’t know your purpose yet.  It becomes the driving force in your life and gives you the energy to do all that you do in place of all the distractions and selfish acts that tend to keep us from our ultimate purpose.  I’ve learned that people who believe they know there purpose rarely claim a selfish one and its most often one that has a betterment for others at some level in it.  I believe we all have this created in us and so living with purpose in some way involves serving others.  I certainly know that’s in my purpose.

66. Express your passions

Passions expose a positive attitude, joy and excitement from a person when they are expressed, or at least more so than normal topics.  This excitement rubs off on others and in turn help to encourage them to be excited or to express their own passions as well.

67. Ask more questions than you answer

Asking questions shows interest in others and makes them feel more comfortable and connected in conversations.  Use questions to serve others.

68. Hand write a personal thank you card

Hand written cards and especially thank you cards are very impactful compared to verbal, email or other means.  Write a personal note or thank you to those that do things for you.  It’s a simple way to return a good feeling.

69. Take the blame

I don’t mean to take the fall for things you did not do (as that seems dishonest), I’m meaning to own up and take the blame when you do make a mistake.  Owning up to it instead of denying it, blaming others or fighting back in any way is the fastest way to resolve things and so a great way to serve others.

70. Keep excuses to your self

It’s very easy to be get defensive and this is related to the blame game above.  We use the technique of the victim cycle to make excuses in life.  Keeping these excuses to ourselves at least keeps others from getting sucked into the blame game and helps to protect our habits from impacting others.  Of course learning to eliminate excuses altogether is best but even the first step of keeping them to yourself helps to serve others.

71. Apologize sincerely

It’s actually quite sad to see how poorly most people apologize.  Insincere and often still accusing of others disguised right within the apology.  “I’m sorry you took it that way” is a LOT different than saying “I’m sorry I hurt you”.  Keep your apologies sincere and always make sure you only include what you did that you are sorry for.

72. Promote employee engagement

A great way to serve others at work is to engage other employees and colleagues whenever possible.  Look at ways to involve others, find things that excite your colleagues and show interest in people over the bottom line.

73. Give honest feedback

Mastering feedback is a crucial skill for a manager but can apply to anyone when serving others.  Feedback is a powerful tool to use to send a message of concern and care.  If feedback is used properly, there is no good or bad feedback, it’s simply a way of showing concern, express a hope for developing the best in others and a great way to serve them.

74. Tell stories

I love stories and I know many others do as well.  It’s unfortunately so many people loose the interest in stories as they age, I for one have not.  Anything told as a story or that makes a story is of interest to me over other experiences and I know that stories have a way of drawing in others and developing relationships.  Telling stories attracts people and is often used as a way to communicate an otherwise complex topic.

75. Control your response

While it is difficult to master, we do control our response to every situation in life.  The choice is hard to always make the way we want to when thinking clearly yet with practice, we definitely serve others by getting better as controlling our response and being constructive and positive in otherwise difficult circumstances.

76. Master your state of mind

Our response is typically due to some moment or short time frame.  Our state of mind however, is really an extension of that response and applied over long periods of time.  State of mind affects our emotions, our mood and our thoughts at a drastic level and so in order to be at our best and to be in a state of mind that is helpful to others, we need to have some control over that state of mind.

77. Use the words, “Thank you.”

Why is “Thank you!” so hard to say?  Compliments can be hard to come by sometimes and I believe its because we are so good at wrecking a good compliment with a poor response.  Sometimes we argue back and say things like, “No I didn’t” or “Nah, you’re just saying that”.  People have been taught that that is how to be humble but they are sadly mistaken.  Responding in this way sends the message that they are wrong and so the compliment is rejected.  It’s a terrible thing to do and subtly and unconsciously stops people from sharing compliments.  There is one good response for a compliment, two simple words, “Thank You”.

78. Be prepared

The good old Scout’s motto, “be prepared” is a great way to think when it comes to serving others.  If you are not prepared, you will need to be dependent on others and if you need them, how can you serve as easily.  I’m not saying there are not exceptions to this, but in general, if you are prepared for a circumstance, you are more likely able to serve others in that circumstance yourself.

79. Stay healthy

Staying healthy keeps you out of the health care system, keeps others from having to look after you and enables you to live longer, set a good example and be able to serve others.  If you can’t look after yourself, how can possibly serve others as easily?

80. Live with less stuff

Serving others tends to take a second place in life for many of us from all the other things we have going on.  We volunteer if we have time, we help a friend if we are not already doing something and we put our spiritual needs behind our career and family for the most part.  Well, all our stuff and complexities tend to distract us even more and so living with less stuff and activities is an easy way to serve others as it frees our time for it and lets us put it as a priority.

81. Eliminate complaints

Complaints are toxic to other people and their moods.  Most complaints are simply dwelling on the past and never really help anyone.  Do others a favor and eliminate your complaints.

82. Keep emails positive

Emails are a cause of many communication breakdowns from saying things the wrong way or sending an unintended message.  This happens especially with emails that are criticizing something or negative in tone.  To prevent this and to keep in mind your service to others, keep your emails positive.

83. Communicate in person

When you have a chance to communicate in person over email, voice mail and even the telephone, take it.  You can always communicate more easily in person than other methods.

84. Ask for help when needed

Another way to serve others is to ask for help when its needed.  People do generally want to help when they can and asking for help is a sure way to give them that opportunity.  Taking on work yourself often leads to frustration and bitterness which can have long term effects that affect your ability to serve.  Sharing skills, advice and a helping help is a great way to serve others, on both sides.

85. Use your talents

You are created with your own set of unique talents and when you discover what they are you should use them.  Talents are wonderful to show with applied skill and are very inspiring to others.  Your talents are always the areas you will have the most impact in and if you use your talents, you have the greatest ability to serve others.

86. Practice patience

I’ve had to learn this one the hard way and am realizing how effective applying patience is in serving others.  While I used to get very frustrated and impatient with others, I’ve felt that God has been testing to learn to have patience and has opened my eyes to see how it is best for others when patience is practiced.  I have learned the value in it now and truly believe that patience is a powerful way to serve others.

87. Protect forests

Our forests, our planet, our resources, it’s all a hot topic globally now and for good reason.  We are destroying what everyone deserves to enjoy and a small portion of the humans are destroying the largest percentage.  It’s a shame and the only way to combat it is to serve others by protecting the forests, the resources and our planet as a whole.

88. Forgive an action

Holding a grudge will get you know where.  Forgiveness as hard as it is, is the best way to serve others.  It’s the key to Jesus’ message and if we can live like Him, we are serving others by doing do.

89. Cancel a dept

Have you ever chipped in a few coins to cover someone’s bill at the grocery store?  How about the money a friend borrowed and has never paid back yet?  Cancel the dept and simply give it to them with no expectation of repaying the dept.  If someone owes you something, don’t hold it over them, simply cancel and forget the dept and hold onto the relationship instead of the money attached.

90. Avoid the unimportant

Unimportant things distract us constantly from our lives, in our work, our families and in our relationships.  The dept mentioned above could one of these things and it prevents us from realizing and experiencing what actually matters.  If you want others around you to experience the best memories and relationships with you that is possible, avoid the unimportant and start doing, saying and acting on the important things in your life.

91. Be enthusiastic

I know that this one may be somewhat a personal preference but as a very animated and enthusiastic person myself, I’ve heard countless times how my energy and enthusiasm is such a great presence and character trait.  I see the same in others and so I definitely believe that enthusiasm builds positive energy in others and that can only serve them by influence and perhaps, by being contagious.

92. Donate blood

This is a huge need for trauma care and a very selfless act that is truly done to serve others and provide a critical need.

93. Use positive dialogue

Positive dialogue fits into a few other items here as well but this is specifically in how you talk and what you talk about.  If you focus on the positives in your life and words you say, you will make a positive impact on others as well.  Positive dialogue includes discussions, your comments, feedback, hopes, dreams, aspirations and stories that are uplifting and positive in nature.

94. Do extra household chores

This is an easy one to do but unfortunately the word, “chores” has such negative thoughts associated with it for most people we avoid it.  If that is the case for others as well, would you not say then that to serve them well would be to do some of their household chores?

95. Give anonymously

Giving is a great way to serve others.  Make it an even better service by leaving a mystery by giving anonymously.  If you are serving them, you don’t need the recognition and certainly don’t need the receiver to feel any obligation.  The best gifts are the ones received in gratitude and anonymous gifts are easier to be grateful for than one that is connected elsewhere in our lives, so give anonymously.

96. Leave a specific compliment with a tip

Tips are an easy way to serve others in return for what they have done for you.  If you want to make a stronger impact, then write a note or message with a tip to leave a specific compliment.  Perhaps at a restaurant you could ask to speak to the manager and tell them about the great service you received from a specific server.  The restaurant manager will be happy to hear this and the server will likely gain other benefits, far more than just your added tip.

97. Say hello often to strangers

Living in Calgary, while it isn’t a huge city, its much bigger than the small town I grew up in and it is odd how seldom people say hello.  I hate that about the city and I’m doing my best to change it.  You can to by greeting strangers, smiling in public and by simply hello to people as often as you can around the city.  I ride my bike to work and love the bike paths I ride along as I often pass by people and have a chance to spread a smile and a hello.  Most often it brings a smile in return and isn’t that a great way to serve.  I think so.

98. Keep your promises

Being a person who can be trusted to do what you say is an important way to serve others.  Breaking a promise kills trust and takes much longer to rebuild.  If you want to serve others, you need to keep your word to them and be honest when you know you can’t keep your promise as early as possible or ideally, before you make it in the first place.

99. Let love for others drive your life

Love is the most powerful thing in this world.  It provides us all with an ability to drive through incredibly painful circumstances. It brings about hope and joy that can overcome any amount of suffering and it sets an example for service to others and to God like nothing else.  Love is a gift we all have the option to experience by God’s grace, it is offered to each and every one of us.  Experience that, make love a focus in your own life and use it to drive your life to serve others.

100. Recognize when God calls you to serve

Finally, my last in this list of 100 ways to serve is to open your mind and heart to God, to listen and then ultimately to act upon his calling in a way He wants you to serve.

I have a great collection of recent articles and resources I’ve found online.  Please do take some time to browse through these and connect with these other great bloggers!  Go ahead and add any specific links you just HAVE to share in any comments!

Favorite Articles

• Letting Go, Moving On by Ian at Quantum Learning – This is an excellent look at the things we hold on to in life that we must let go of in order to move forward into a new year and new opportunities.
• Unconscious Decision Making by Stephen at RatRaceTrap
• Everyone Needs a Creative Endeavor by Steven at The Emotion Machine
• The 100-100 Divide by Karl Staib at Work Happy Now
• Employee Engagement Eclectic Zingers 2010 (plus Part 2 and Part 3 and part 4) by David Zinger
• An incredible article about The Christian Paradox.  This is a superb read and beautifully written and argued.
• Are You The Best Version of Yourself is a great analogy by Dragos about keeping yourself the best you can be.
• 11 Quick and Simple Ways to Spread Positivity Around You from the Positivity Blog
• Attitude to Change at the Change Blog

Additional Resources

• 52 Bloggers to watch in 2010 by Steven at Change Your Thoughts
• 200 Online Learning Resources

Ancient Principles for Lasting Greatness

Author: Michael Holmes

I received a copy of this book from Michael Holmes and he has been wonderful to read from and briefly interact with on twitter.  You can find him @MichaelGHolmes or at his website for the book at http://raisetheeup.com/.  The book is quite a short read and easy to read and it covers the subject of greatness from a Christian perspective very well.  For that, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and it is very accurate both from the research aspect and evidence used to outline each area and I think he covers the subject thoroughly.

Greatness is first explored and a number of stories are used to demonstrate what is meant by greatness (both qualitative and quantitative) as well as obedience.

Principles are then explored and how they differ from practices.  I loved the points in instinctive morals but unfortunately, I have to say there were a number of paragraphs and examples that I just couldn’t make any sense of in this area.  Examples of sin being a principle completely lost me and no matter how many times I read it, these parts just completely confused me.  The wording used and how Holmes includes quotes to complete his thoughts I find is very distracting and unnecessary.  Personally, I felt that quotes were used far to much which made the author’s point difficult to follow.  I’m not sure exactly why I felt this way and I had the same feelings reading Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life a few years ago.  It must be a personal preference as millions of people love Warren’s book and obviously the quotes used didn’t keep others away.  The same is likely true with this book.  I’d like to hear an authors point be made from their own words more strongly and then provide some reference or context to back it up, instead of forming paragraphs, arguments and starting new thoughts with quotes from references.

So one thing I really liked are the 3 criteria to identify a principle over a practice:

1. Immutable – simply meaning that it cannot change, its lasting
2. Consequential – principles will consistently bring about consequences (whether they are rewards or downfall)
3. Universal – simply that apply for all wide range and are not specific to certain person or situation.

Next, Holmes covers isolation, desire and character as three critical areas impacted by greatness.  These sections were great and presented with short examples and references as is done throughout the book.

Finally, Homes explores 5 laws: vision, the extra mile, persistence, stewardship and service.  While I love these topics and attach much value to each especially in the personal development studies and writing I do, I didn’t seem to find the same value in these chapters from the book.  I think there is so much covered in such short sections (many are just one page) these laws all felt to be presented in a very disjointed manor.  Again, I felt some of the quotes to distract me from the message even though many supported the argument well.  It simple left the writing to very difficult to read, as the content doesn’t flow and certainly doesn’t segway nicely between the topics.

So, overall I did enjoy the book and I’m sure any Christian would gain much from it and find pieces that really mean something to them.  I think that people who are not very familiar with the characters and stories from the Bible will not understand many of the references and there is little explanation behind each to support it.  If you are looking to deepen your understanding of greatness and to look at principles and your character as it relates to greatness, then this book will definitely give you a great study guide with good examples and references to deepen your research on.  Each chapter even has ending questions to ask yourself or a study group questions about each topic and they would be very helpful in using this book in a group for discussion and review.

A guest post by Armen Shirvanian

If you want to stick to a continually motivating way to act, getting and maintaining a lead in some aspect can do the trick. This lead can be as compared with other people, or with your past ability, as either way works. Having a lead can provide a real feeling of being in a good place in the present moment, which leads you to make more progress. Here I discuss what you can see as a lead, and how staying ahead is easier than catching up.

What Is ‘Being In The Lead’?

Being in the lead is fairly easy to define in most cases. When running a race against someone, the one who is in front of the other on the track or race path is the one in the lead. From a business standpoint, the one in the lead can be the one with a larger net profit, or more quality employees. For a scientific researcher, being in the lead means getting and publishing certain results before other scientists do. It is usually time-based, but sometimes it can be more about position.

Find Some Aspect You Can Obtain The Lead In

This includes finding out if you already are in the lead in some way. If you can find some aspect of what you are doing where you are already ahead of others, work with that, and maintain it. If you are a graphic designer, and have recently worked for more customers than some of your peer competition, go with that as your aspect to focus on. If you don’t currently see yourself ahead in any category, you are going to want to focus on one specific thing.

Student Example

This fits well for those who are students. In a class with a curve, competition is a big part of the experience, although it is not actually too impacting on grades in most circumstances. To fit with the concept of this article, you would want to put out all your effort at the beginning of a quarter or semester, in order to get ahead of the curve. This can make all the difference in the world. It takes about a month of really focusing, obtaining great early results, and then holding on to the good position.

The big difference between maintaining a lead and catching up is the feeling you have throughout the process. Someone who takes an early lead, and then holds on to it, feels much less stress, and feels like they “get it”. Someone who falls behind in some way, and then is stuck there for a long while, before trying to catch up, feels loads of stress, and can easily feel like they are doing things wrong. They might not even be in that bad of a shape at that point, but it is just like with running, where running a whole race a lap behind someone else is not appealing to most folks.

Charity Example

Let’s say you run, or are a member of, a charity or relief organization, and you want to expand the presence of the charity in your state. With the recent turmoil in Haiti, you would want to start helping, or putting the word out about your charity’s efforts, as soon as possible. Growing a help organization or charity is like growing a business, and so being early to respond could mean the difference between becoming an organization that is referred to on the news, or remaining as a relatively unknown entity.

Once you are quick to respond, and become known as the go-to charity or help organization, all you have to do is keep up your system, and people will start to see you as the main resource. You won’t have to send out as many fliers or phone calls, but this is based on getting ahead at some point, in some way.

Closing Point

A day or week or month of intense effort early on in a struggle or competitive environment can be worth weeks or months of much easier time in the future. If it weren’t for future benefits, there would be little to gain from an early lead, because it would just mean harder work at the outset for no reason. It is those who see this future value that are able to acquire and maintain an early lead.

Armen Shirvanian writes words of wisdom about mindset, communication, relationships, and related topics at Timeless Information. You can also follow him on Twitter at @Armen.

Change is obviously a huge part of personal development as you can’t truly develop without change.  You can learn, you can gain knowledge, but you don’t really develop without putting those things into practice where you develop your character, your relationships, or work or some part of your life.  I always strive to put more than just the learning aspect in my articles and the biggest differentiators that I have learned in realizing personal development is that of taking action.  And action creates change.

Start Small

Change is tough.  It scares people and when we are satisfied with life, it threatens to break whatever certainty we have in keeping that satisfaction.  Personal development challenges that by looking at driving change to improve oneself and to better our lives and the experiences we create in life.  Whether you are a master change agent or an individual of daily habit afraid to try anything new, the only way to create any method of change for personal development is to start small and work up to bigger and bigger changes.  For those just starting to explore change and personal development for the first time, simple ideas or change are the best way to start.  Focus on thinking of the positives from change and what you can accomplish once you have made it.  Think about what you will have, how you’ll feel when you accomplish that first change and how it motivate you.  Perhaps it will give you specific feelings of pleasure or happiness you don’t have without it.

Starting small can happen simply by looking first at those ideas.  The way you think about change is really a crucial step and unfortunately it’s often overlooked.  Just imagine yourself where the change has already occurred and think about the future with that change in place.  This visualization you create is the first small yet crucial step in making change happen through action.  Changing the way to think about change and looking forward to what you will have from making change, even before doing it, is an action in your mind that will enable so much more.

Practice those thoughts of change, visualizing the great things you will have and the next small thing to do to implement change is to simple decide that yes, you do in fact want that change.  Reinforce your desire for it and keep reminder yourself of the pleasure you will have by getting it.  Perhaps you will also avoid some pain you experience now by NOT making that change.  If so, the promise of avoiding that pain by making the change can further enhance the desire you have to make the change.  All of this and you really haven’t DONE anything yet.  Start small.

Building Confidence

From the desirable change you’ve now imagined in your mind you’ve got to convert that desire into something stronger.  You need to make a decision to get the change.  Depending on how committed you make yourself to your decisions, this might be a powerful factor or a weak one.  It still makes an impact once you commit and decide to make it happen.  The strongest way to do this is to write it down and share it with a friend or loved one.  Share it to make your commitment stronger.  With that commitment on paper and in the minds of others, its time you set out and take action.  Make the first step that leads toward the change.  Just as before, start small and build upwards.  There are many ways to progress your steps from simple to small. These won’t apply to all change but they do provide a list of ideas from simple to more complex.

• Tell someone about the change you visualized
• Use pictures to visually represent the change you want by creating a poster or picture
• Use daily affirmations about the change in place
• Create a list of steps or goals that lead you to the change
• Tackle one change each day to work towards the change
• Remind yourself and reward yourself for progress made

The best thing about progress in change is that it builds confidence.  Gaining confidence create momentum which allows you to take on larger and larger actions, leading to bigger results.

As you see this progress, your confidence continues to grow and it’s a cascade effect.  This process might be over a period of days or years, it depends on the individual.  However, recognizing the progress and the change will always build confidence.

Realizing Continual Change

As you experience changes through personal development, you begin to go through periods a significant change and often one change will lead to another.  This is a great aspect of personal development, because change itself will sometimes revealing new opportunity or inspire another area in your life.  When these start to happen, you’ll end up with changes want to make that overlap each other in time.  As you see more progress, and continue to ramp up the changes you desire and enjoy the pleasure of achievement, you’ll begin to close the gap and see that you are really going through continual change.  Continual change is more than many repeated cycles of change that you intentionally perform, it begins to go much deeper inside one self without having to intentionally do so.

At this point, your subconscious becomes more and more activated by the continual change your experiencing and you’ll start to realize the changes are no longer happening only from your conscious ideas but there also starting to happen with your awareness, with your understanding, and even your fundamental beliefs.  Personally, I found that this new subconscious activity forms conscious thought, questions and a desire to explore it further.  So this realization comes full circle if you once again decide to make a change and carry it through.

Mastering Change

Mastery is a wonderful word.  It implies taking a skill to the furthest level and being able to do it easily, repeatedly and every time with excellence.  Mastering anything takes years of practice and dedication. Mastering a skill typically has a finite amount to learn and practice in order to gain that level of repeated excellence.  Once you reach that level, you can maintain it without struggling and it really becomes automatic.

Change however, is more complex than an ordinary skill.  Change is never finite because every single change you make will always be unique and have its own set of obstacles to overcome.  Improving your ability to change though makes you more flexible and adaptable.  Mastering change would mean that you can take on any change in life easily and do it well every time. Mastery means that change becomes so easy you simple need to make that choice and decide to change something and because of the mastering in change, it will happen one way or another with no further contemplation necessary.  Countless practicing, years of training, conditioning the body and mind to follow are all what leads to and creates mastery.  Eventually, just the decision itself becomes all that is needed as a catalyst to make the change happen.  That is complete mastery in my mind.  This is of course subjective but what a fantastic goal to have.  To be able to adapt to any circumstances, to change oneself for the better whenever the opportunity arises simply by making that decision and then to have continual changes bringing challenge, joy and satisfaction to each and every day in life!

Personal development has that very thing to offer and even though it may be an audacious goal, these steps for change allow us to come ever closer to mastering change, all we have to do is start small, take action and everything else builds on that.

Author: Diana Whitney and Amanda Trosten-Bloom

As I’ve learned about leadership and personal development, I’ve learned how much these areas are really just all about change.  Changing yourself first and then looking to inspire and provoke change in others as well.  Recently, I’ve discovered, written about and become deeply involved with another such change.  A process called Appreciative Inquiry that is all about instilling organizational and community change.  I wrote a couple articles about Appreciative Inquiry when I first started learning about it and so if you haven’t read those, definitely jump back and take a look at those to understand a bit more about what appreciative inquiry is.  This book covers it as well, but the review I’ve written skips over much of that introductory material and gets to some of what I found to be more impactful once the basics were already understood.

Appreciative Inquiry – Introduction

Appreciative Inquiry – Tools and Methods

What this book has to offer is an in depth description of appreciate inquiry and the main steps typically needed in planning or hosting any kind of an appreciative inquiry.  There is so much content in this book I’m going to outline a few specific areas that I feel really bring out the value of appreciative inquiry.

Fully Affirmative

Focus on drawing out the best instead of problems

Best example of this in the book is an example from British Petroleum’s ProCare (a US auto repair business) that was conducting customer satisfaction surveys.  There was a downward trend occurring as soon as they company began the surveys.  They were using the 5% of dissatisfied customers from the satisfaction surveys in an attempt to fox those areas and address any problem areas in focus groups assigned for improving the surveys.  It seemed impossible to improve when the discussions and messages were about unwanted cases of customer feedback (or the problems in customer satisfaction).  An appreciative inquiry team of consultants was brought in to help assess this.  Despite much skepticism, they setup the same focus groups to look at 100% satisfied customer surveys only and the results were stunningly different.  The customer satisfaction ratings reversed immediately and started an upward trend.  This affirmative stance of appreciate inquiry created the environment needed to restore high levels of customer satisfaction and was only possible by exploring the best of customer satisfaction and to continue to focus on what was working.  This is the whole premise of appreciate inquiry.

Inquiry Based

Unconditionally positive questions are crafted as part fo the process to ensure that the nature of the questions brings a shift towards the hopeful and positive elements in any response.  Inquiry is a carefully selected word in this process as it implies there is a search and willingness to discover and learn.  Inquiry questions do not lead to a anything in particular, they are about sharing experiences and thoughts or opinions on a topic.  They have an openness that shows a genuine interest in the response which deeply engages people.

Improvisational

The third main trait of an appreciate inquiry is that it is improvisational.  It is loosely structured and has guiding principles only to devleop and get results from any appreciative process.  It is itself guided by questions and so those involved must respond and tailor their interactions and systems specific to that inquiry.  This makes every appreciative inquiry unique and it is that which keeps growing the appreciative inquiry knowledge based with new tools and techniques learn that bring out the vital elements of people and organizations.

Principles of AI

Another element that was new to me in this book was the outline of the 8 principles of appreciate inquiry.  These principles have been derived from the original creators of appreciative inquiry and by the evolution from experiences in conducting inquiries with large scale organization and community change efforts.  Without describing each in detail, which the book does well, here are the 8 principles:

1. The Constructionist Principle – Words Create Worlds
2. The Simultaneity Principle – Inquiry Creates Change
3. The Poetic Principle – We Can Choose What We study
4. The Anticipatory Principle – Image Inspires Action
5. The Positive Principle – Positive Questions Lead to Positive Change
6. The Wholeness Principle – Wholeness Brings Out The Best
7. The Enactment Principle – Acting ‘As If’ Is Self-Fulfilling
8. The Free Choice Principle – Free Choice Liberates Power

The authors cover some history of Appreciative Inquiry, its creators and origins.  They also explore much about how it has been applied since its inception.  There are large sections with great detail about the 4 main stages of appreciate inquiry:

• Discovery: Appreciative interviews and more
• Dream: Visions and voices of the future
• Design: Giving form to values and ideals
• Destiny: Inspired action and improvisation

Why Appreciative Inquiry Works?

The final chapter is called, “Why Appreciate Inquiry Works?”.  I loved this chapter as it not only summarizes appreciative inquiry with evidence and continued stories of application, but it also helps solidify the new beliefs around the thinking, words and actions required and what makes it so special and powerful as a process and engaging tool.  For some, it enables personal and collective power, others it enhances self esteem and self-expression.  It makes a lasting change and can permanently affect a person.  The book then covers that there are 6 freedoms that appreciative inquiry enables and how the process liberates power in those freedoms:

1. The freedom to be known in relationships
2. The freedom to be heard
3. The freedom dream in community
4. The freedom to choose to contribute
5. The freedom to act with support
6. The freedom to be positive

Concluding Thoughts

In conclusion, its hard to express how useful appreciative inquiry can be and what an impact it makes in an organization or community.  I’ve had the wonderful experience of seeing it first hand however in my own work and am honored to be our company’s appreciative inquiry champion steering our process and engaging the whole company with the various stages, tools and interactions.

Its been a great experience so far, has no end in sight, and definitely already shifting our organization towards what is called, “life centered organization”.  I’m excited to continue to learn more about appreciative inquiry and to see how else I can apply it in my life and other communities I’m involved in.  I encourage you to learn about appreciative inquiry as well and bring it into your organization or community.  I’m positive that you be happy that you did!

I have another collection of cool resources for you to browse…  These first ones are some random articles I’ve really like over the last month or so…

• The Power of Silence
• What I learned in Life
• 50 Timeless Life Lessons
• A free ebook – 200 Sentences on Employee Engagement at the employee engagement network.
• Part 1 of a great series on Beliefs (5 part series)
• Meaningful goals and Mechanical Rabits (a great article on goal setting in life)
• How to Remember What You Learn

Here is an article I wrote for my company’s new product website (just recently started) about Exceptional Customer Service.

Armen of Timeless Information included my response on some questions about competition along with 7 other bloggers.  Quite an interesting set of responses that I found well worth reading.

Farouk of 2KnowThyself.com sent me details about his site.  He’s got some amazing quantity of content on many topics.  I browsed the topic of motivation and the articles look pretty decent.  Definitely worth a look and I’m sure you’ll be stunned like I was at how much this one man has written!!

Fetching Fridays at Kikolani- Fridays have an excellent collection of resources week after week (among the site’s articles themselves)

The 100 Lists Continued:

• 100 Ways To Develop Your Mind
• 100 Simple Ways to Change Your Life for the Better
• 100 Must-Read Blog Posts for Networking in a New Age
• Summer’s Top 150: Personal Development
• 101 Tips to Feel Great!
• 100 Ways to Screw Up Your Life

Whenever you talk about giving in today’s modern and mostly selfish society, people immediately think of their possessions and physical belongings and gifts to give. Well those are not what I mean by this title at all. In fact, this article is in response to a wonderful list of gifts from the article, The True Essence of Giving by a regular reader, Jonathan at Advanced Life Skills.  Please go take a look at his article right now which gives some perspective to why I felt this story has some relevance.

A Friend that Gave it All

My story is of a friend I had that was always giving everything he had.  It didn’t matter what kind of circumstance he was in, he always seemed to bring so many great things to a situation, a conversation or a friendship.  I got together with him and other friends from time to time for some discussions, games or a meal and he always stood out to me in that he lived with no desire for all the stuff, possessions and things that are so desirable by today’s standards.  He led what seemed to be a simple life but I now think it was far from it, which I’ll explain below.  He just didn’t care about all that stuff the rest of us have.  He had a run down car that barely got him around, a simple house and very basic possessions.  He never had new ‘things’ to talk about and really just never seemed interested in any of that.  What I see now is how much of these other things in life and our possessions really PREVENT us from giving all we have.  I could see that he was always fully engaged in conversation, laughter and communicating with people because nothing else caught his eye and distracted him.  I’ve met no one like that before and that particular trait stood out to all who knew him.  You might say if was his charisma or his magnetic personality but really I think it was because he was always giving you everything he had in that moment.  All the things from Jonathan’s list linked above…

Anyway, he traveled a lot for missions giving his time and energy to those in much more need than him around the world.  His love for others and to serve God enabled him to give so deeply and passionately.  I never understood giving in this way until hearing his stories of giving in shattered 3rd worlds where there seems to be little hope.  The beautiful thing with giving from the heart, and especially in 3rd worlds, is that any gift from the heart is immediately recognized and valued sincerely.  People (and especially children) who don’t experience much joy in life get a little piece of happiness and hope when someone gives them their attention, a smile, or some time to play with them.  These are gifts from the heart and they are the most valuable gifts you can give.  Looking at how to love someone else and provide them something on the spot and in the moment is the greatest gift and I’m afraid loosing its perceived value against our society of stuff.

So, let me explain my comment about living simply from above.  Our high standards society in 1st world nations has a different definition of simple if you ask me.  It would state that simple life is less stuff and this is really only partially true.  I also see simple in the WAY we react to everything around us.  A simple life is actually more complex and more difficult because there is a far deeper understanding of oneself and one’s awareness and present moment in order to keep our interactions simple. This is especially true in a complex and distracting environment.   There are literally thousands of advertisements and distractions every single day that train us to think all those things will make our lives simpler when in reality they just mess it up more.  Its easiest to just go with the flow and experience all those distractions every single day.  To avoid all that is tough, and its certainly not simple. In fact, its more acceptable to be distant and distracted every moment of our lives and we willingly join in competition to express how busy we are all the time.  None of this helps learn to give though, for that, we need to eliminate distractions and look at the things we have to give others from our heart.  We must enhance our ability to focus on people instead of stuff, to be fully present with others regardless of the distractions.  This will generate a more fulfilling life and it enables a person to give more from the heart.

A journey into the unknown… . I don’t really know where or when I will end up, and it doesn’t really matter. It will be an adventure, an epic journey, a time of soul-searching and of praying, of exploring and learning and sharing – a time of drinking Life to the fullest.
–Quoted from his blog

OK, back to the story. Well, my friend decided to ride his bicycle across west Africa to experience his favorite place on Earth to its absolute fullest and he headed out to do so.  He wrote about his journey about how he was impacting people daily with his incredible giving spirit and how much joy he was experiencing as a result.  He literally created hundreds of smiles from strangers every day and great friendships with the people he’s met and stayed with along his way.  Before he was able to complete his bicycle journey, however, he was struck and killed by a vehicle on one of the highways.  His Earthly years may have been short, but his impact and influence left behind is great.  I always remember his giving spirit and he’s one of those people you think of that is just larger than life.  All of those fond memories are memories that are tied to the authentic giving he was always able to do from his heart.

What kind of gifts do you think of when you hear about a gift from the heart?  Who have you learned the essence of giving from?  How do you come across to others in your giving?  Spend some time thinking of your own stories and memories about giving this Christmas and do what you are meant to do at Christmas, give from the heart!

The Dangers of Gossip

Gossip is one of the most common problems in the workplace as well as in relationships.  The biggest problem with it is that most people don’t even realize when a discussing takes a turn towards gossip and even worse is that they don’t realize the impact of gossip. Well gossip is a relationship killer and it happens much more frequently than you might want to believe.  Gossip is basically anything that could be seen as a negative spoken about one person to another when they are not there to hear it first hand.  It could be something very simple with zero intent to harm them and it could be as harsh as an intentional slander of someone’s character.

There is nothing good about gossip and it usually hurts the person under gossip and the people involved in sharing the gossip.  There are risks in having the person find out about a person sharing gossip (gossips) as well as the pain and hurt to that person of whatever negative information is spread.  There are many additional dangers of gossip:

• stress to those involved
• hurt feelings
• destroys teamwork
• destroys the desire for people to share any meaningful vulnerabilities
• prevents communication that requires trust by encouraging people to keep their mouth shut
• creates undeserved reputations

Your Own Choices Around Gossip

All of these dangers should be enough to convince anyone to avoid gossip, unfortunately, they are not.  Gossip is temping and often encouraged by the behaviors of people.  Gossips welcome all new gossip and they often turn those who don’t participate in their gossip into their own victims of new gossip. Its often easier to participate than to risk becoming a victim and for many there is also an attraction (for a multitude of reason) to participate for their own reasons.  Gossip is selfish and usually malicious in that it downplays or attacks someone else (whether subtle or obvious) to make the gossips look better in comparison.  This is exactly why its so destructive because it destroys so much in oneself, let alone the victims of gossip.  It destroys your character and puts you into a position where you can’t be trusted.  The power that gossip gives is very temporary and usually short sided which ends up coming back negatively to the gossips.  The most common of these methods is when gossip turns around and the people involved in gossip then become victims of gossip themselves, often within the same group destroying any bonds the gossip might be falsely or temporarily created anyway.  Other consequences of gossip are getting caught, building mistrust, false relationships, spreading untrue rumors and many hurt feelings and people left in the wake of gossip.

The great thing about gossip is that it really is very easy to free yourself from it if you can chose to avoid it and learn a few techniques to help identify it, handle it and stay clear of the problems caused by it.  So how is that done?

Identify Gossip

Many times gossip is quite obvious and undisguised.  It could be as simple as people asking questions about what you heard or know or thought about someone else or their actions.  It could sound like the following:

• Did you hear what Frank said to Sally?
• You wouldn’t believe what I heard John did this weekend?
• I heard that Gerry…
• Did you see Lisa’s new boyfriend?

All these do not necessarily lead to negative gossip but they are obvious conversations about other people and should be very easy to identify in a conversation or start of one.  Not all gossip is as easy to recognize as this, unfortunately, and sometimes it is much more disguised.  It might even happen when talking with a friend or colleague when the conversation started about simple facts or positives about someone else and shifted to negatives or problems about that person.  If you are not talking about how to help that person, support them to resolve their problems or some other positive action when discussing others, its quite likely its turning into gossip.  Basically, if you are talking about someone else, you need to really stop and think if you are doing it to help them or not.  If your not, its gossip and there is no need for it.

Influencing Gossip

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21

Since gossip is so powerful it has a great influence on others and so it must be battled through positive influence in response.  There are a number of actions you can take against gossip.

Ignore it:

• Avoid people who talk gossip and don’t give any opportunities for them to spread it
• Simply leave the room or conversation when gossip starts
• Don’t respond to questions about opinions on others or other gossip traps
• Ignore gossip and don’t engage in any gossip based conversations

Prevent it:

• Never start any of your own gossip
• Change the topic whenever a conversation leads to gossip
• Refuse to listen or respond to any gossip you are faced with
• Hide any hurt feelings or dramatic reaction to gossip.  This fuels the gossips to continue as its often what gossips want to generate.

Confront it:

• Politely say that you would prefer to talk about that person when they are present
• If you know the source of gossip, go and confront them immediately and calmly tell them you do not appreciate them talking about you and that it causes hurt feelings whether intentional or not.
• If you hear someone start some gossip, offer to go to that victimized person with the gossiper right away to discuss it.
• Simply respond to gossip, “Would you like to have someone share that about you without you knowing?” and walk away.
• State I don’t like talking about other people because I don’t like them talking about me.
• State that you don’t talk about others unless its to help them or support them
• State that you don’t want to talk about others negatively unless they are involved in the discussion

Yesterday in Part 1 of this review, I outlined briefly my experience with reading the Bible as well as the many heroes written in it to learn from.  This second part explores a few more areas I particularly valued.

Great Teaching Through Stories

I love storytelling and I know its a powerful way to teach and convey a message. This is definitely one of the reasons the Bible has as much impact on so many as it does, its full of hundreds of incredible short stories all weaved together in the greatest Love story of all time. That is of God sending his only Son to suffer and die on the Cross to pay for sins of all people through all of time. So of course that over arching story has deep meaning for me as a Christian, but most people will likely connect more with individual stories from the bible and what is taught in them.

When it comes to story telling, Jesus used stories and parables more than any other teacher and He did so with such a deep understanding, sometimes the message He sends with each story cannot be fully comprehended simply hearing it once. Some of Jesus’ stories and the messages He shared can really take years of study to fully understand. In fact, there are scholars and teachers still dissecting the meaning of each story today, 2000 years after the stories were originally told. Now I don’t know about you, but if I’m able to ever tell a story profound enough that even one person retells it I’ll be ecstatic, let alone millions of people teaching it 2 millenium later.

There is no man that hath power over the spirit to retain the spirit; neither hath he power in the day of death; there is no discharge in that war.
Ecclesiastes, 8. 8

What Matters in Life

Another significant thing the Bible does like no other book is trigger many, many reflective questions about the things that matter most in life. Contemplating some of the stories and instructions from God does much to activate these questions in a hope to understand more of what mattes in our own lives in comparison to some of the heroes, villains and variety of people from the Bible. The example of how Jesus lived his live with servant hood and perfect obedience to God forces one to ponder if any of those same things matter in your own life. Are material possessions and temporary things on Earth getting in the way of you knowing and living the life you truly desire? What about the effort put into your relationships and serving others? Do you have a purpose and what is getting in the way of living it?

Personally, those questions really matter to me and so does the context of them. Of course its still a daily struggle to escape the undesirable and temptations I face, yet I find myself continually spiraling closer and closer to what always seems like a more defined purpose. Yet with each loop of this spiral it seems to morph into more of a funnel and I find the questions taking me deeper and deeper into the funnel. I’ve deepened my beliefs and faith in serving greatly by reflecting on all the stories and examples and by learning so much more through study. There are so many great references, teachings, messages and stories to ponder you can’t help but look at where applying that in your own life is valuable. Also, the moral foundation is so easy to apply to great relationships, true honesty, continual integrity and love for others.

Connections To Personal Development

All these beautiful ways to learn present a huge opportunity to improve oneself and that is where it connects deeply to most areas of personal development in today’s writings, teachings and courses. Many of the books, quotes and role models in personal development today have moral foundations, beliefs and a servant attitude that stems from the Bible. Whether its an intentional connection or not, much of what we study in personal development is a result of both old testament teachings and Jesus’ life here on Earth.

Whether your looking for examples of moral leadership, trust, integrity or friendships, its all here. From the beginning to the end (pun intended), its the Word of God. You’ll find nearly every area of personal development and a challenge to explore your own character to a level beyond what most would ever dare to start. Beautiful examples of the golden rule, servant hood, obedience, purpose and true faith are here in the one book nearly everyone has but seldom reads. It’s by far the best book I’ve ever read and is so profound I could put all other books away and just continue to learn by rereading this; the greatest book of all time.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12: 31-32