I am happy to introduce a new guest author today who has been in the field of personal development for many years.  I was asked for several writers to describe what impact personal development has had on their lives and Anita provides us with her account of it in her life below.  Please we’d love to see any comments and discussion on the topic and feel free to connect with her using her contact info at the end of the article.

I have engaged with personal development for over 20 years now.  On the one hand it saved my life. At the other end of that spectrum it has been the making of me, in terms of living with purpose and joy. The two areas of major impact were:

• enabling me to survive tragedy
• then to rediscover  that place beyond survival called living

This process was certainly not an overnight one, but I often think we find the true power of personal development when our back is against the wall, and we open our hearts.

Beginning in Personal Development

Personal development saved my life because at the time of first embracing it in my life, I was actually lucky to be alive, but having survived major family tragedy, I was not thankful to be alive initially.

It is something of a paradox that one can be alive yet dead on the inside, or die being alive on the inside.  Had I physically died at the time I would have died being dead on the inside. However my challenge in surviving tragedy was to move beyond and resurrect the life within me from that lifeless state.  Up till that point I had trained in psychiatry, yet my knowledge of psychiatry alone was insufficient for the journey I needed to complete.  Psychiatry was very much about helping people become functional and compus mentus, able to cope and manage situations.  That type of survival mode was not enough for me.  I write more about this in my book ‘Breaking Free From The Prison Of Survival – how I went from survival to living following major personal tragedy’

The difference that personal development made initially was to help me become more aware of my true nature, and that seed had been sown during my years as a psychiatric nurse. As I awoke to that I became more aware of my potential to change my life, something I had previously felt powerless or constrained to do.  The more I read about this aspect and listened to those who had  done likewise the more I started to feel inspired that these same processes could help me.  The next thing I started to grasp was about how my past conditioning had led me to feel so dis empowered and robbed of joy.

The Domino Effect

So my learning then involved reconditioning myself in the areas that felt greatly affected.  What I noticed then was that the questions I started to ask myself led to self awareness, as I observed my responses without judgement, and new solutions started to present themselves.  The increased self awareness led to a domino type effect. Insights led to seeing new possibilities. New possibilities bred new choices. New choices led to a feeling of empowerment with a new hope and confidence to change things.  This enabled me to identify the areas I wished to experience growth and change in, and then to draw up a plan of personal development that addressed each of those areas.

It was very much a case of practicing till new habits formed in my mind, emotions, body and spirit. This process of self awareness, new choices and skills acquisition was what enabled me to go from not being happy to have survived  major trauma, to surviving well.  However the journey felt far from complete at that point as being one of life’s survivors no longer felt such a noble destination point.

The key growth area for me now was learning to develop a deeply loving relationship with myself.

So many people have their identity invested solely in external things which can make for an inconsistent sense of joy and self-esteem. I replaced that with loving myself without condition and experiencing the joy that comes from genuine gratitude for all that I uniquely am and have. I added coaching and mentor-ship into the mix, as I had learnt about the power of these processes, and needed to form new habits.

Things  started to crystallize the more I grew as a person.  In truth whilst I had survived near death, it took me a while to move from managing my life to embracing my creative power.  The realization that I could start to design my life from here on in, rather than create by default, was one that filled me with a new lease of life, yet took constant exposure to start to grasp

Brain Tools

Two particular tools that helped me were applied kinesiology and brain wave entrainment. Kinesiology has several applications.  In principle Kinesiology works with the human energy field beyond the mere conscious level through muscle testing, to check alignment across a number of issues.

Through this process I was able to gain more accurate insights where my conscious and subconscious were giving conflicting information.  I was able to progress more rapidly with this tool in my hand and I had one of the country’s best practitioners, which was equally important.  I incorporate this in my coaching business now.  I thoroughly recommend kinesiology to assist you along your path too.

Brain wave entrainment provided a more passive form of meditation where my concentration was deficient, and enabled me to access deeper levels of relaxation and capacity to process change.

Finally intuition has played an enormous part in the doors that have opened up to express the value I bring to the world. I used to be very left brain dominant, yet as I developed intuition, the insights gained caused opportunities to present quickly.

Conclusions

Now as I look to publish my book which has already received top industry endorsement, I am left in awe and amazement at the processes described above that took me from mere survival to living, with a sense of purpose and vision I know I can realize.

I leave you with some tips to turn your life round or take it to a new level:

1.  Ask evaluative questions of your life and answer them honestly
2. Use kinesiology to check out your alignment
3. Learn to ask empowering questions of your life.  They will give shape to your life
4. Develop a deeply loving relationship with yourself as you would a best friend.  This will result in great joy and provide a powerful platform from which to create with intent.
5. Identify the areas of growth needed and identify those who have sufficiently mastered those areas that you can learn from
6. Cultivate your intuition.  It will be priceless
7. Constantly expose yourself to these processes till the areas you wish to see growth become second nature

Anita Narayan is a highly endorsed author, speaker and coach with specialities in reducing cardiovascular aging , accelerated learning and sports performance.  She is soon to release her book ‘Breaking Free From the Prison Of Survival – how I went from survival to living following major personal tragedy’ which has received top industry acclaim. You can find out more at www.mypersonalbestcoaching.com

Today I welcome a new guest author, Carolyn who brings us this great article on advancing your career.  I am always surprised how many people think that the next great job for them is not at their current workplace, but at the next company or job for them.  The reality is, every job can be your next level job and people would position themselves much better by continuously advancing their careers and building their skills in EVERY job, just by dropping one and seeking the next.  So, please add your comments to welcome Carolyn and you can find more of her articles at her link at the end of the article.

Gaining a promotion at work is something that many workers would put on their to-do list. But how exactly does one go about the task of climbing the corporate ladder? Well, the corporate ladder is less of a ladder and more a staircase. What I mean by that is that advancement doesn’t come in huge upward motions. It most often comes in slow, steady moves. Continually move forward, display a desire to learn more about your job and strive to do the best you can on all of your assignments and before you know it, you’ll realize you’ve ascended quite a bit from your original position.

Before I outline a few points about advancing within a company and furthering your career, let me begin with a short illustration.

The Two Workers

Two men began work at an accounting firm at roughly the same time. The two new employees had attended rival schools but got along well enough. The first employee decorated his desk with memorabilia from his alma mater and the second chose to keep his work area sparse and sterile. At lunch during a coworker’s birthday celebration, while the cake was being passed out and “Happy Birthday” being sung, the first employee joined in with the chorus of voices while the other hung toward the back, not wishing anyone to hear his less than impressive singing voice. Both of the employees were well liked within the office. Neither participated in the intra-office politics or petty office gossip. Both were generally on time with their assignments and both pulled their weight. However, the first employee quickly got a feel for the office culture and began arriving in time to flip on the lights in the office in the morning. He was trusted with a key to the office because the bosses figured, if he wants to get here so early, why not let him?

Still the two men performed about the same amount of work. What the first employee accomplished in 9 hours at the office, the second employee could get done in 7.5 hours.

It wasn’t until an opportunity arose to get trained on new software that the first employee really set himself apart. The company was readying itself for a switch to a new type of software and it asked for volunteers to get trained on the new system. The volunteers would then turn around and train their coworkers on the new system. It was not a popular position — there were no benefits — but the first employee volunteered for the position, was trained and lent his new expertise to his coworkers.

When it came time for the accounting firm to consider applicants for a promotion to a recently vacated managerial position, whom do you think they chose?  It should be fairly obvious that the first employee demonstrated that he was worthy of the career advancement. But why is that? The second employee was technically the more efficient candidate. He worked at a rate that was about 17 percent faster than the first employee.

Eagerness

The fact is, most companies care about efficiency and your ability to carry a heavy workload only to a certain extent. The thing that many companies look for is eagerness. The first employee had that quality in spades. This is shown not only in his volunteering for the unenviable position of new software trainer but also in his loud singing at the coworker’s lunch time birthday party and his early arrival to the office each day.

Taking the time do something as small as stand by the water cooler for a few minutes on your break and chit chat with employees shows that you’re not just there for the paycheck. You’re taking an active interest in your work and your coworkers. It shows management that you’re eager to be there. You enjoy being there. So they should want to keep you.

Keep Learning

The software-training example is just a small example of a time that someone took an opportunity to learn more within their job. This often pops up at jobs in the form of new certifications, licensures or training opportunities. The first employee’s willingness to learn the new software demonstrated to management that they are looking to learn. The desire to take on new tasks is something that managers are constantly looking for in prospective recipients of promotions.

Respect Your Elders

The managers at your job got there for a reason. Although sometimes it may seem like they don’t quite know what they’re doing, they have a better job title than you for a reason. Part of learning on the job and using the knowledge you gain to advance your career is found in relationships made with management. Offer to take your boss out to lunch and ask how they achieved their successes, how they dealt with their failures and how you can get on track to follow in their footsteps.

This is not only a great way of learning about the company and its day-to-day operations, this is a great way of making sure your boss can pick you out of a crowd. If a chance for a promotion comes up, they’ll be much more likely to consider you if they can pick you out of a line up.

Contribute

The example of the first employee singing along to “Happy Birthday” is also a metaphor for something that too many employees fail to understand. Speak up. No one will promote you, let alone acknowledge that you’re in the room unless you make your voice heard. Contribute to the discussions. Put your two cents in at meetings. Don’t be afraid to put your opinions and ideas forth at meetings. This will raise your visibility within the office and, in the event that you say something incorrect, the correction you receive at the meeting will stick with you.

As the old proverb says, “Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than 100 blows to a fool.” The implication is that if you’re wise, you will only need to be corrected once and you will heed that instruction. If you’re a fool, you could have someone try to beat the information into you, but it wouldn’t take.

If you’re looking to advance your career but are worried about the opportunities within your company, don’t abandon ship just yet. Advancement opportunities will inevitably open up if you apply these principles for moving forward.

Carolyn is a guest blogger who writes about employment topics and RN schools.

I am happy to have another guest post by Jesse this week, who has posted previously a great article here at LearnThis.ca, Finding Happiness in Authenticity.  This time, Jesse writes a new guest post on goal setting. Goal setting has always been a favorite topic of mine so its great to have a new perspective on it and it can never be encourage enough to anyone interested in personal development.  Goal setting is a critical factor to success and is something everyone should be actively doing on a regular basis. So, it’s a great article and I encourage you to please add your comments and feedback below.

The whole point of making a list of goals for yourself is to meet them—so, why is it so hard for us to follow through? Part of it has to do with how we view goals; according to an article on productivity blog Lifehack, the more potential for positive growth a goal has, the more anxious and stressed we are by not achieving it. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step—and sometimes, taking that first step can be tougher than the journey itself.

Nevertheless, you still have goals for different areas of your life: spending more time with your family, working toward a promotion at your job, or maybe pursuing higher education. But the problem isn’t that you don’t want to meet these goals—the problem is that you’re not working to improve your life and the lives of your family. So, how do you get back on the resolution wagon? How can you stay motivated to fulfill your aspirations?

Don’t give up

Seems like a simple directive—but it’s much easier said than done. Still, the fact is that you won’t reach your goals if you don’t work to achieve them. Find ways to keep yourself motivated: use a productivity app like Evernote on your computer, smartphone or tablet so you can keep track of both short-term and long-term tasks. You can also recruit friends and family to help you stay on track: if your goals are health-related, encourage your family to try a healthy eating plan or a family workout schedule; you can also share your goals with friends and ask them to help keep you accountable. The more encouragement and positive pressure you have in your life, the more likely you are to stick to your guns when giving up seems like an attractive choice.

Be specific

When you’re making goals, envision exactly what you want. While the journey is important, it’s the destination that matters—so be specific when you set objectives. If you want to improve your education, explore the subjects you’re interested in and decide on a degree program that works for you. From there, you’ll be able to plot a clear path to earning a degree or certification. Having clear and detailed goals can also give you clues on how to proceed: if you’re a working dad with a growing family, perhaps an online degree program or attending classes part-time would be your most beneficial course of action. With a clear set of goals, you’ll also be able to track your progress.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

Staying on track can be especially difficult when you’ve got a million things to worry about: by the time you’ve finished your workday, chances are you’ll still have a long list of chores to complete. But not everything is essential—and that can be hard to accept. You can’t be everywhere and do everything, so learn to let some things go in order to concentrate on others. That might require you to ask for help—and you shouldn’t be afraid to do so. Your spouse might need to do dinner duty a few more times a week; you could ask a friend to be your workout partner in order to keep you on schedule; or your older kids might need to pick up a couple more chores around the house. When you’re trying to stay on track to meet your goals, keeping your eye on the prize is essential—it’s easy to get bogged down in the minutiae of everyday life.

Make some changes

Reaching your goals will require rearranging your priorities—whether it’s committing to spending less time at the office, rearranging your school schedule, or passing on activities with friends or coworkers. Try this exercise: keep track of every single thing you do for one week. From the moment you wake up every morning until you return to your bed for the night, jot down how you spend your time. How much TV do you watch? How much of your day is eaten up with Internet surfing? How long are you stuck in traffic on your daily commute?

After a week, look at the hours you spend not working toward your goals, and cut out the non-essential activities. If you have an hour to watch TV, then you’ve got an hour to work out on an elliptical machine. If you wile away your evening hours tweeting or Facebooking, consider using that time to study instead. The key is to trim the fat from your life and devote more energy to your resolutions. The more free time you have, the more easily you can fill it with tasks that move you closer toward your goals.

Celebrate

That’s right—when you reach your goals, you should reward yourself! One of the reasons why may goals tend to be difficult to meet is that many of us have been conditioned to expect instant gratification or reward. But giving yourself a reward—like a vacation, or a new electronic gadget, or maybe a party—at the end of your journey can make it easier to stay motivated and keep going. Acknowledging your own hard work—and taking a little time to review how you got what you wanted—can go a long way toward making your all your work seem worthwhile.

Of course, just because you’re committing to making your dreams come true doesn’t mean that you’ll always succeed. And that’s totally okay: the most important element of working toward your goals is that you stay persistent and focused. While you might not meet your goals within the timeframe you set for yourself, if you keep at it, you’ll get there eventually—and that’s what’s most important.

Jesse Langley specialilzes in writing about education, professional and personal development, and career building.  He writes on behalf of Colorado Technical University.

Work for Joy and Not for Money

Performance occurs when you are happy doing the job you do.  Study after study shows that money does not bring happiness to life or a workplace and so you have to find joy in what you do to truly perform at your best.  Finding ways to enjoy your work are important regardless of what you do.  At the same time, I don’t think you need to quit your job or find a new career that is more satisfying just to have a joyous reason to work.  Every job has its joys or satisfactions and it requires the person doing them to discover them.  In whatever job you do, you can either choose to complain about it (which many people seem to do in work) or you can find ways that you can value the work, the results you get and make the job more enjoyable.  Perhaps this is through the people you work with, adding some humor or fun to the culture, making some friendly competition or self challenges to make the work more than just showing up for a pay check.  If you don’t enjoy your job now, ask yourself, “Will it really make a difference to liking your job if you get a 10% raise?”  Probably not, however, it will make a BIG difference if you can positively change the culture, make work more fun, know and have fun with the people you work with or simply love the results you can produce in that job.  The great part of having more joy in the workplace, is that you will still end up having better performance which will always lead to that better pay in the long run anyway.

Value The Journey more than The Achievement

Being performance oriented often leaves people solely focused on a outcome instead of truly optimizing the process or journey towards that achievement.  While obviously results are an important aspect of any performance oriented person, they are not the only thing that matters.  The methods, the journey and the process used to get to that outcome is often more important since it is where the learning occurs along the way.  The journey is where the experience is really coming from, not the end result and that experience is what you will remember and be able to repeat.  If you achieve something and don’t know how you achieved it, does it really have any value?

Study The Results of Everything You Do

So, if you look at the journey or your performance and not only the results, it helps to pick apart the results and examine them to help uncover the truths of why they work or how you got them.  Of course the journey is part of this to know the process and methods, but the results are often not as obvious as they might seem at first either.  What impact does the result actually have?  Does the result reach other people, other areas or aspects of that job that you didn’t intend at first?  Are those positive or negative results?  What about the repeat-ability of your results, is there someone else who you could teach or help achieve the same thing?  Can you repeat them yourself?

Reflect on Your Talents and How to Use Them

Something leads to great results and sure the journey is part of that, but often that journey is shaped by a talent that you have.  Do you know what your greatest talents are and is it clear to you when you are using them and how to make them more effective? Being performance oriented will require you to use all of your skills and talents.  Reflect on them to figure how you can use them more?  You are way better off spending your time on your strengths and talents than you are on weaknesses when you are looking to be performance oriented.  Weaknesses may be an area you want to improve on to help get results, but every hour spent using a talent will always get you more than an hour spending working on a weakness.  That is exactly why you would call it a weakness in the first place, you are not as good at it!

Learn From your Mistakes

I am amazed how many people seem to be afraid to make mistakes, want to hide mistakes they do make, and don’t seem to tolerate others making mistakes.  These are not the behaviors of performance oriented people, as hiding and avoiding mistakes is something that limits people from learning from them.  Obviously making mistakes  on purpose is not valuable here, but tolerating mistakes for what they are and then maximizing them by learning from them is incredibly valuable.  Ask yourself why the mistake happened?  Can you avoid it from happening again?  What did you learn from the mistake and can you share that or teach it to others?

Create Experiences Over Acquiring Things

The materialism and disposable world we have created is shifting people more and more towards what they want instead of why they want it.  Acquiring things is often at the top of people’s goal lists or wish lists and it happens more and more as people achieve more.  To be truly performance oriented however, one has to care more about the experiences they gain and wish for over the things they might be able to acquire.  Every thing (even a status item or symbol of prestige) is still for the purpose of the feeling it gives the person.  That is even more true with experiences that don’t come with some item or thing.  The stuff we accumulate often holds us back from being able to do and experience more.  If you want to be more performance oriented, you must think about and shift from acquiring things to creating experiences.  It is the experiences you will remember and value years later and its the experiences you can share with others on a personal level.

Change What Doesn’t Work Quickly

Many people get their mind set on something and keep being persistent, without exploring new options.  Persistence has its merit when it is the only option to accomplish something (like my article on perseverance climbing a mountain) but most of the time there are alternatives choices and methods to get a similar result from.  This is why it is good to react when something doesn’t work and to change it before wearing yourself out or wasting too much time on the wrong thing.  If you can change something that is not working quickly for another method, this is much better than just continually pushing through when there is tiring resistance (either skills, circumstance, etc).  Optimizing the way to get results is important to do at all times, so change what doesn’t work quickly and you will certainly find the optimal path and be more performance oriented.

Kill Distractions and Find Solitude

Distractions seem like they have become part of everyday life now for most people but the truth is that they are chosen by people and it is quite possible to choose to eliminate distractions just as easily as it is for people to choose to have them.  Whether it is how many times a day you check your facebook page, whether or not you stop a personal conversation to answer a phone or simply how you fill your productive and spare hours with extra things like music, a bit of web surfing or checking your email 25 times a day;  all of these are distractions you choose to have or allow.  If you want to be more productive identify the distractions that don’t help you and choose to kill them.  Maybe for an hour to start, a day or if you are determined, forever, but no matter the time frame you have to choose to kill the distraction to gain performance.  Combine that with some solitude where you can actually think about your life and the things you need to accomplish and you suddenly find yourself more performance oriented with an ability to get a lot more done in the same period of time.

Take Risks and Ignore Conventional Thinking

Performance oriented individuals are those who are willing to take risks and they know that a risk is often necessary to take a leap forward instead of always playing everything safe and conservative.  Often conventional wisdom or wisdom of crowds forces conventional thinking that keeps us from trying something new, being creative or experimenting with some idea that might fail.  Without the guts to take the risk, we limit every possibility of it working and kill what might have turned out to be an amazing ideal if only it was acted on.

Relationships Must Come First

Last but certainly now least in this list of being more performance oriented is relationships.  Relationship are absolutely crucial to great success and are one of the strongest areas to help accelerate and connect a person for success. Whether it is for support and empathy from people we know, trust and love, or connecting businesses and networks of business people towards win win situations, no matter what the performance you are after, relationships will help it come faster, make it easier to enjoy and share, and empower you with more passion and emotion than when others are not involved with you.

This week I have a wonderful guest post by Jesse who takes on the challenging topics of authenticity and happiness.  If you like this subject, I recommend you also check out my review of and buy Daniel Gilbert’s book, Stumbling on Happiness

I always thought that there was a formula to life, a recipe that if you got just right would result in success.  And I thought I’d know success when I found it.  I’m not even referring to financial success, although that’s always nice.  I guess I’m referring to a kind of happiness, though not the kind of euphoria that most folks seem to mistake for happiness generally.  As I began to get older, I started to realize that many of the people I’d been emulating all along didn’t have the answer.  In fact, nobody I talked to seemed to even have formulated the right questions.

I think this is a feeling many people have, especially if they tend at all toward introspection.  And we’re natural imitators.  It comes out of our early social construction I suppose.  Even our basic likes are borrowed.  You may love baseball, but you likely inherited that from your father or older brother.  When we start digging into the things that compose our “self” it can look like a layering of borrowed likes.  I think that this is what people are referring to when they say they need to go “find” themselves.  I think it’s really just a longing for authenticity.  What is it that you really like?

In the search for personal authenticity, it can be helpful to ask yourself what you really like.  We become so accustomed to acting in non-authentic ways that by the time we’re adults we’ve created a subterfuge that even fools ourselves.  But do you really like reading Tolstoy novels?  Or are you happiest reading cheesy detective novels.  We convince ourselves constantly that we like things because we intuit throughout our lives that liking certain things commands more respect from other people.  Reading Ulysses always commands more respect than admitting a fondness for old comic books.  But I would suggest that we would all be happier if we were less interested in pretension and more focused on what we really truly find pleasurable.

I was nearly thirty when I realized that the education and resulting career path I’d chosen weren’t the result of pursuing what I really liked.  I quit my job and went back to college and got a degree in English literature.  I realize that most folks can’t just quit a job for four years to pursue a degree that may not have huge economic potential.  But if you’re doing something you don’t love and you really wish you’d studied history instead of accounting, you can still do it.  Pursuing your original authentic academic interests with online education classes at home in academic areas in which you always had interest means that you can enrich your life without drastically changing your routine.  Just because you chose an academic major at eighteen based on income potential, or because your parents wanted you to study medicine or law, doesn’t mean it’s too late to pursue your authentic interests.

There’s a phenomenon that happens to folks as they grow older that’s common enough that we have a name for it in our culture.  The “mid-life crisis” as it’s called I think is just a belated response to a longing for authenticity.  But a new convertible or some other material acquisition is unlikely to solve anything—although this seems to be a popular way to self-medicate.  And it’s understandable.  Those of us that have come of age anytime after the post World War II economic boom have been raised in a society driven primarily by consumerism.  It makes sense then that we tend to believe, whether or not we’ll actually admit it, that the ability to consume can make us happy.  And the ability to consume is measured in dollars.  We may not verbalize it, but we’ve internalized consumerist attitudes and tendencies so completely that it still forms our underlying attitudes about success and happiness.  And that can form a real roadblock to encountering one’s personal authenticity.

It’s sort of a shame that so many of us don’t encounter true personal authenticity until fairly late in our lives—if ever.  I had a conversation with a young man—fresh out of law school—recently and I asked him about happiness.  What is it that would make him truly happy?  He told me, with no hint of irony, that a $200,000 annual salary by the time he was thirty would be his true measure of personal success.  I asked him about happiness and he responded with a definition of personal success.  It makes me wonder if we’ve created an entire generation of individuals who’ve tied their ideas of happiness so completely to a vision of financial success that any hope of real personal happiness is almost impossible to achieve.

Finding authenticity isn’t always easy.  It’s an inward journey that requires introspection and personal searching.  And those things can be difficult to engage in when we’re surrounded by the accoutrement of postmodern life.  It’s easy to get sucked into a lifestyle where multi-tasking and work has crept stealthily into our personal lives and we have increasing difficulty staking out time that’s truly ours.  I work as hard as I can at my job.  And there are times that I bring work home with me.  But I try to make that an exception.  I’ve begun to get better at defining the difference between success and happiness.

It’s a gradual process.  But it’s possible.  And it’s a journey.  A year ago I began to fall into the habit of working about an hour later every day at my office because of a high priority project.  I’d shut my laptop and drive home, give my wife a peck on the cheek and then promptly open my laptop to do a few more work-related items.  Guess what?  My project was completed on time and under budget, but I continued bringing work home.  I was letting my job deprive me of what makes me authentically happy—the simple routine of spending time with my wife and reading in my overstuffed chair while she putters around the house doing what makes her authentically happy.  And I’m not reading Tolstoy anymore either; I’m reading Mark Twain.  I like it.  I like it a lot.

Begin Your Own Quest Toward Finding Happiness in Authenticity

If you find the idea of taking a journey toward authenticity and inner happiness appealing, there are concrete steps you can take to get you started.  It’s not a bad idea to take some time to unplug from your normal hectic workweek schedule to pursue some solitude and quiet introspection.

Unplug for a Weekend

This is tougher than it sounds.  Spend a quiet weekend without your usual distractions.  Shut off your TV, close your laptop and turn off your mobile phone.  This may sound easy, but we’ve become so used to over-stimulation and the postmodern barrage of electronic gadgetry, that a shift into uninterrupted solitude can be unsettling.  My father used to refer to these kinds of weekends as “hermit weekends.”  That’s a good way to think of it.  If your surroundings are quiet enough that the loudest sound is the clock ticking on the wall, you’re off to a good start.

Self Examination

Start thinking about what you used to prize more than anything else.  I’m not talking about anything work-related either.  What did you used to be passionate about?  What did you enjoy more than anything else before you became consumed with measuring happiness by financial success?  These are usually simple things.  For some people it may be a form of communing with nature.  Quiet walks, kayaking, hiking in the great outdoors through riotous autumn colors and the smell of wood smoke.  Whatever it may be for you, focus on it and identify it.

Re-think Your Goals

Start thinking about the goals you have in place.  What are they measuring?  Are they motivated by consumption?  Do they revolve around material acquisition?  If you find yourself answering yes consistently, that’s a great first step to identifying self-built barriers to experiencing real happiness. Begin a process of changing goals from strictly material ones to “happiness” goals.

Substitute Old Goals for New Goals

Shift goals and personal drive away from material goals toward person-centered goals.  Personal happiness isn’t the only thing sacrificed on the altar of materialism and conspicuous consumption.  The happiness of family members and bonds between spouses and children tend to be casualties of consumption-driven goals as well.  The goals we have shape our outlook and activities.

Focus On Relationships

If you’re focused on constantly working overtime to boost income for a new house or new car, you may want to reexamine your motives.  Are these things necessities?  Or are you single-mindedly pursuing the accoutrement and trappings of success?  If a new home isn’t a real necessity, you may find that experiencing simple happiness is a lot easier if you work less and spend more time with family members instead of co-workers.  Unhappiness often results from neglecting relationships.

Re-define Yourself

We have a unique way of defining ourselves in Canada and the United States.  I first noticed this when traveling through Europe.  When I asked people what they did—a common question here in North America—they tended to respond very differently than I was used to.  They didn’t respond by giving me their profession.  Instead they responded with the activities that made them happy.  So rather than saying they were surgeons or lawyers, they might say they were mountain bikers or rock climbers, triathletes or poets.  These folks did not define themselves by their professions or by how they made their incomes.  They defined themselves by their sources of great happiness.  Just changing how you define yourself can make a huge impact on your happiness.  Defining yourself as a parent instead of a stockbroker will inexorably begin to shift how you perceive yourself and what your priorities are.  If you undertake some serious introspection about authenticity and happiness—and realize it requires a journey—you’re on the right path.  The beautiful thing about a journey toward happiness is that it’s really never too early or too late to begin.

Jesse Langley enjoys spending time with his family, watching athletics, and writing about professional and personal development strategies.  He writes regularly for Professional Intern

I’ve always enjoyed the topic of goal setting and have both read and written many articles on goals.  This week I have a guest post by Jesse Langley, who gives another look at the benefits of goal settings

In the past twenty years, the pace of life has accelerated at breakneck speed. Technology has put the world at everyone’s fingertips—on-demand entertainment, online stores that deliver overnight, webcams you can use to talk to friends across the globe. Instead of taking a tried and true way to weight loss or education, everyone’s looking for the quick fix, or the shortcut.

Life can work that way, but it doesn’t last very long—and then, you end up looking for another quick fix to replace the one that failed you last time around. People now expect things to happen immediately, with little effort and with very little personal cost to themselves.

But life isn’t virtual, and success and happiness can’t be ordered from Amazon. If you want to improve your life, it will take time, dedication, and organization. Creating the kind of life you want requires that you set goals for yourself. Begin by identifying what you want, setting goals to make it happen, and laying a plan that allows you to succeed.

Your heart’s desire

So, what is it that you want out of life? Do you want to begin a new life, or just improve the one you have? Are you working toward a particular goal, like buying a new car or moving into a better apartment? Start making a list of the things you want—lists can serve as visual tools that remind you of your goals and ambitions. Once you’ve made your list, prioritize your goals from “most important” to “least important.” That way, you can put your energy into the things you want the most.

Best-laid plans

You’ve got your list of goals written and arranged, it’s time to come up with a plan. Anything worth having requires working for it, and creating a strategy is half the battle. If you want to pursue an education, research the best options for earning a degree. If  online training or distance learning will make it easier to reach your goals more quickly, choose the school that will give you the best education in the field you choose.

If you want make a large purchase like a new car, put together a financial plan that allows you to take care of your monthly expenses while saving money for your goals. And don’t be afraid to ask for help: not everyone knows how to manage money efficiently, and getting advice from experts will only help you reach your goals more quickly.

Do some life housecleaning

Many of us hold on to people, places and things from our past, whether they’re good for us or not. Doing a major spring cleaning-type overhaul of your living space is a great place to start: get rid of anything you don’t use or need, and anything that might hold unpleasant memories. Donate any items that can be reused to gain good karma. Rearrange your living and working spaces so that they’re comfortable, and pay particular attention to things like your closet and your computer to be sure they’re organized and easy to navigate.

Getting your life organized can help you clear your space, but housecleaning has to involve looking at more than just the physical influences in your life. Doing an inventory of your personal relationships can also force you to examine how the people in your life affect your goals. Friends who are constantly negative, or a significant other who doesn’t support you, can become toxic.

Likewise, friends and family who offer encouragement and ideas on how to succeed can give you the energy you need to work harder toward your goals. Decide which people in your life are lifting you up, and which are holding you down—how you deal with those relationships is up to you, but you’ll need to find a way to interact with the folks who may (or may not) have your best interests at heart.

Find your center

Religion and faith can be a source of inspiration and strength. Attending religious services, or studying your religion’s holy texts, often helps us put certain aspects of life in perspective. Religious studies and services also give people the opportunity to build a community in which they are accepted, encouraged, and counseled on how to deal with life’s obstacles.

You don’t have to be religious to make a deep and spiritual connection with others. If you don’t subscribe to any faith, you can still set time aside to meditate, or to simply let your body and brain relax. Finding your center, finding a place or environment that makes you feel calm and allows you to recharge, can give you the strength you need to get through the ups and downs of your life.

Keep at it—even if it doesn’t work

Taking each of these steps—and committing to them long-term—is a lot of work in itself. But once you’ve set yourself up for success, the only thing to do next is stay vigilant. Stick to a schedule, keep your lists and other visual aids handy, and devote yourself to your goals every day.

One of the most important things to remember is that you won’t always meet your goals the first time around. Rely on your good friends and family to cheer you on, and don’t forget to give yourself a break every now and then if you backslide, or if a plan falls through. Failing or falling short doesn’t spell defeat for you—instead, take it as a lesson and try a new approach next time. Part of meeting your goals is not giving up on them—so, don’t give up.

Setting and achieving your goals isn’t easy—but it’s not supposed to be. Working toward your goals might take months, or even years. But learning to set goals, developing the discipline and self-determination to carry through on your actions, and keeping yourself focused on the big picture will give you more than just what your heart desires. Learning to set goals and achieve them will serve you well in all aspects of your life.

Jesse Langley enjoys spending time with his family, watching athletics, and writing about professional and personal development strategies.  He writes regularly for Professional Intern

I’ve happy to present this guest post by Matt Maresca.  He contacted me to offer this perspective on motivation so I hope you enjoy the article.  You can find out more about Matt and his contact details at the end of the article.

There comes many times in life when we lose that fire to do the things we need to do in order to get what we want most.  We lose that passion to work toward our goals.  For a moment, we even lose our sense of purpose.  Something happens and sometimes we really don’t even know the cause, but we begin to think “what’s the use?” as we contemplate our goals.  We lose our spirit, our will to achieve.  The wind gets taken out of our sails and we have no idea how to get it back. The answer may be closer than you think.

A Discrepancy in Desires

Here is your dilemma: You know you want to be happy, but you are acting as if you want to be sad. The human mind is a crazy thing.  There are so many wires and bonds in there that sometimes things get a bit crossed up.  And this is why people often behave irrationally. Happiness is a choice, not something that is thrust upon you by a situation or a circumstance.  You choose how you react to your circumstances.  You choose your mood and your demeanor.  Everything about your attitude is a choice.

Unfortunately, there are acts of nature that are fighting this choice.  These acts are your habits.  Over the years, you have likely conditioned yourself to react negatively to certain things and positively to others.  This triggers your mental reflex to respond to situations accordingly.

Once your mental reflex kicks in, it gets the ball rolling in one direction or another.  To stop the momentum requires serious, conscious focus and effort.  You must will the ball to stop when it begins rolling you downhill.  You must clear your head of your negative reactions, and turn your thoughts into positive alternatives.  The problem is that, when you are feeling down, you really don’t want to focus any effort on anything.  You’ve lost your spirit and your will to fight for what you want.  This is why it is very easy to be negative and remain that way for extended periods of time.

The Turn-Around

To turn things around when you are down, you must remind yourself of how much you love being happy and enjoying life.  Remind yourself of why you do the things you do.  Remind yourself of your passions and your purpose.  Simply remembering the good things in life–the things that make you happy–is enough to stop the ball rolling you downhill.

You know you aren’t going to give up.  You know you have the opportunity and ability to do great things with your life.  Your plans got momentarily derailed.  Big deal.  You know you have the power to get right back on track.  You have this power because you have control of the most important things in the world: your mind and your spirit.  You control your attitude and the way you view the world around you.  Utilize this power to its fullest potential, for it is one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive.  Not many people realize their power to change their attitude.  This can put you at a major advantage in life.

The Self Motivation Kit

Whether or not you feel down right now, you can benefit from doing this exercise today.  Start by making a list of things you do not like about your life and the world around you.  What do you not want to experience?  What are your fears?  What gets you down?  What do you wish were different?

Once you have this list, make the opposite list.  Write down the things you want most in life.  Draw a picture of your ideal future.  List the things you have now that you are grateful for.  Write down your strengths and everything you like about yourself, as well as everything you want for your future.  Now look back at the negative list.  Begin working on the items by turning them into a positive.  Find the good in each situation.  Find ways in which you can take something away from the negative situation and better prepare yourself to create the life you desire for yourself.

For example, let’s say you recently lost your job.  What is the good in that situation?  Maybe now you can make a push to do something you were always afraid to do.  Maybe now you can start your own business.  Perhaps you can find a better job.  Or if you can’t find a better job and don’t have the capital to start your business, maybe this is a jumping-off point for you to learn a new skill or improve your current skills.  Maybe this is just a big learning experience for you and a kick in the pants to improve something about yourself.

When you have the will to achieve, there is nothing that can hold you down forever.  The quicker you turn the negative into a positive, the sooner you will get back to the things in life that you want and the more time you can live in happiness.  Practice the turn-around exercise whenever you catch yourself with a negative thought.  Find the positive in the things you complain about.  Find the good in your adversity.

The Test of Will

Overcoming adversity is one of the greatest ways to strengthen your will to achieve and build your personal power.  So whenever you find yourself struggling to find the good in a bad situation, simply say to yourself:

“This adversity is merely a test of my will.  I will not let this test get the best of me; and I will rise back up and be stronger for having done so.”

About the Author

Matt Maresca is a motivational entertainer and writer with a passion in helping people make their lives special by focusing on “Personal Power”.  You can read more from Matt on his website, My Life Motivation, where you will find advice ranging from how to be more productive to building self confidence.

Step 1: Identify the Need for Change

First, great leaders are gifted at identifying the need for change.  Whether its because of their surroundings jumping out at them and just screaming for help, or a subtle cue that they see and no one else does, leaders are great at identifying change.  This ability often comes by developing an objective perspective, even for their own life or surroundings.  It lets them separate their circumstances that clouds their judgment and allows them to ask questions that identify an opportunity.  That opportunity, no matter how great or small, lies behind some change before it can be reached.  Seeing that opportunity is the first step to change.

Step 2: Taking On the Change

Next, a leader must be willing to step up and take on a change.  There are lot of people who might see the need for change and stop short, scared at the effort, the risk or the journey to make it happen.  Taking on change takes courage and anytime courage is at play, there has to be some risk involved.  Change will not happen on its own and leaving something up to others is usually what creates the difficult circumstance that needs a change in the first place, since that is what most people do.  To make change happen, you must be willing to take on the change directly and face the challenge in doing do.

Step 3: Drive The Change

Willingness is not all it takes however.  While the courage to face it will be the start, perseverance to drive the change will be a much longer, tiring journey and is another crucial component to getting through the barriers of change.  Sometimes this means leading by example, other times it may be to stand up for someone or something that others are scared to do, and it might even mean a lot of time and labor poured in to get started changing things.  Whichever it is, driving the change is needed and a great leader knows this.

Step 4: Inspire Others to Follow the Change

Driving the change can only last so long without help and no matter how strong a leader is, they are even stronger with their followers and at some point, will have to rely on others to help them.  This might be right from the start or it might be after some barriers are eliminated to help others see light at the end of the tunnel, but along the journey, leaders must inspire others to gain help.  I’ve written before on many ways to inspire others and a leader will have to do so to develop followers.  Being consistent, expressive, positive and welcoming can definite inspire new followers, especially when a leader does those things by example in areas they are passionate about and noble causes.

Step 5: Create Momentum for Change

Creating momentum for change requires that same perseverance it takes to start and drive the initial changes, but now at a larger scale with any followers on board to help make things happen.  Keeping follows inspired and putting the effort behind any changes will require continuous effort and all the things it takes to inspire people in the first place but be maintained and emphasized to keep the momentum going.  Communicating the progress is important as well for showing momentum and you will likely have to start by communicating the size of the effort and as it ramps up, use that to show momentum, especially since progress or results may not be seen in the early days.

Step 6: Recognize Results

Once more efforts are being put it, it will not take long for there to be some results.  Of course, they will not be the end results and change you are after, but it is very important to identify early on any progress that is made.  These might be considered as major milestones or barriers to overcome.  It could be expansion or support levels.  Perhaps funding, ideas or collaboration that never existed before the movement.  Whatever is underway, its important to stop and recognize the results.  Recognition is there to keep the momentum as well.  Make sure that individuals are recognized for specific actions and behaviors.  Recognize in ways that re-enforce the messages needed to drive more change and continue to build momentum.  Use recognition as a way to inspire more followers and continue to build the expand all efforts toward the change.  A strong cycle of inspiration, momentum building and recognition is an incredible force for driving change.

Step 7: Celebrate the Change

Not only should the progress of effort be recognized, but even more important is to celebrate any noticeable change itself.  Change never happens all at once and so there will be people who change first, or perhaps areas or regions that change first, or even small changes that occur on the journey to a larger change.  Each of these small elements are crucial to celebrate to ensure that the change is an example to everyone who sees it and that the change is something that proves the results you are after.  Promoting whatever change does occur is another way to build momentum as well, especially among skeptics who need to see before they can believe!

Step 8: Share Your Story

And finally, sharing your story of change should be done to give others insight into what challenges were overcome, how the change was driven and all the methods used to implement it (such as the steps in this article).  Sharing the knowledge of how to implement change obviously others to repeat that both with the same kind of change (which is really building more momentum), but also to apply those tools to a completely new area, one that need change as well.  It sparks leaders and inspires people to take on their own areas of change and it can teach people how to do it.

So, I hope these steps can be used for your next change initiative and I’d love to hear if you’ve used these before or if you have some additional steps that really help to drive change in your leadership.  If so, please share them with others.

This was my most difficult list I’ve made and while I was hoping to make a list of 100 ways to be more humble, I really struggled coming up with unique ideas that didn’t have too much overlap and were not just a large list of different words or minor actions to be more humble.  I hope you will find some value in this list, it has certainly given me a lot to think about, a lot to still learn in being humble and an eye opener to realize how far from this I actually am.  While I hope many of these are true in my life I know they are a continuous struggle and I’m sure others can relate or add even more ideas to the list, which I would love to see in your comments!

Please have a look at my short series from 2 years ago on being humble in the article pages here or from the free PDF download in my resources area, called, Being Humble.

1. Use the response “It’s My Pleasure” when someone thanks you for doing something.
2. Use the response “I’d be honored” when someone asks you to help them or do something with them.
3. Listen more than you talk
4. Count to 3 before adding to a conversation to ensure the other person is done
5. Be willing to follow another person in conversation even if you don’t get to talk about your idea
6. Always offer to improve someone else’s idea and give them credit
7. Give credit for other’s ideas that you are carrying through on
8. Ask others for the opinion of others
9. Ask others to join conversations and contribute


Artwork by Adam Stone

10. It’s OK to be wrong and so admit it
11. Admit when you don’t understand or know something
12. Appreciate others who learn something quickly and say so
13. Be quick to apologize when you do something wrong
14. Study moral principles
15. Use moral principles to guide you
16. You are God’s creation, not your own
17. Recognize your talents as gifts, not your own ability
18. Know how your skills have only be developed by the help of others
19. Share your own knowledge to pass on what you have learned
20. Pass on thanks when you receive it to those who helped you achieve what was thanked
21. Value other people’s time as much as your own
22. Never equate time spent with people to a dollar value
23. Don’t boast about your achievements, let others recognize them instead
24. Keep your goals to yourself
25. Help other people with their goals
26. Realize the potential in others
27. Know that timing is everything and everyone excels at different times in life
28. Being the 1st follower is often the best way to lead
29. Since winning isn’t everything, you don’t have to win
30. Recognize that you have faults
31. Remember you are a sinner (in other words, you are no better or worse than anyone else)
32. Ignore first impressions of people
33. Give others the benefit of the doubt
34. Provide positive and encouraging feedback instead of criticism
35. Make a choice to act more humbly
36. Practice at least one humble act each day
37. Be grateful for successes without boasting about them
38. Know how to accept praise with a simple thank you, don’t elaborate on it or talk more about it
39. Recognize the individualism of others and yourself, there is no need to conform
40. Share your core values and live them accordingly regardless of the circumstances
41. Prioritize things in your life and rate your actions on whether to followed that priority or not
42. Rate other people as first, be less significant
43. Forgive those who wrong you and move on without revenge or lashing back
44. Serve others and not yourself first
45. Seek wisdom, which is knowledge of what is true coupled with just judgment of action
46. Recognize and know that you know little and there is always more to learn
47. Avoid explosive reactions, and subside any aggression
48. Accept new ideas and change, not being stuck on what you knew before
49. Teach all that you can for the benefit of others
50. Learn from and model the life of the most humble teachers in history (Jesus, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Buddha, etc)

I’m happy to have another great guest post today on the obviously timely topic of revamped resolutions.  This guest post is by Maxine Dee who first contacted me after a recent article about small things that make a big impact to others.

Part of her original contact was the following: “I was greatly touched by Unnoticed Significance which was such an incredible reminder of the power that every human being possesses and the simplicity of putting it to work. The innate gratefulness that Jim had for what he was blessed with also resonated with me and I was actually writing to suggest a guest post about how your simple story has inspired me to transform a yearly tradition.”

Maxine made several other comments about how seeking resolutions that are focused on contributing to the lives of other people instead of ourselves is a great way to ensure we actually accomplish our resolutions and that they are worth pursuing through the entire year.  I couldn’t agree more and so I’m happy to have her article on this subject.

More often than not, our busy lifestyles reduce our commitments to things that are convenient.

Although much of life is about the small things, it also means being part of something bigger than we are. For me, this ‘something bigger’ is how my decisions and actions have a ripple effect on the world. This year I’m revamping my resolutions with the idea that small actions based in good will positively impact someone else’s life – and that feels very good to me! With that in mind, here are a couple of things you can do to make a lasting impression on those in need, and hopefully bring about a new state of awareness for yourself too:

January - Purchase more fair trade goods for daily use.

Fair Trade involves providing sustainable economic solutions for developing countries by placing a fair price on goods exported to developed countries. Most of these fair trade companies have a mission – to improve the lives of those who create their products. Companies like Gianna Fair Trade and People Tree empower individuals to become self-sufficient. Consumers in developed countries that purchase these fair trade goods pay slightly above market, but in many cases the price is still comparable to something mass-produced and the quality is the same. Fair trade helps small businesses to thrive and stimulates the income of these developing countries.

February - Donate blood and save a life.

Blood and blood products are vital necessities in hospitals and other health institutions. When blood is in high demand, many individuals have to go without – this could spell the difference between life and death. By volunteering to provide blood and blood products, you are potentially saving a life. Get screened as a donor or participate in local blood drives; either way, you are providing a great service.

March - Participate in tree planting projects for a better environment.

Deforestation has largely depleted our natural forests. Trees are part of a fragile ecosystem that allows humanity to grow and thrive as a species. This year, you can pledge yourself to future generations by engaging in tree planting drives organized by your local community or other environmental organizations. Every tree you plant ensures a better place to live in for yourself and your children.

April - Volunteer for feeding programs.

Food is one of our most basic and most essential necessities. It is sad indeed that many people are without it. This year you can help the hungry by volunteering at nearby soup kitchens, hosting a fundraiser, or by donating money or non-perishable food items. By giving others access to the simplest of needs, you can help them get back on their feet and get on their way to living a better life.

May - Use Organic products and save Mother Earth.

The use of organic products has been gaining huge momentum, and its usage spans generations. There are many organic and/or environmentally friendly alternatives for many of  today’s necessities, from shampoo to garbage bags. By using products derived from organic sources, you can help lessen the biological waste burden generated by non-biodegradable materials. Organic products easily degrade when disposed of, unlike their non-biodegradable counterparts. When shopping, check the packaging of the products you buy and if possible search for organic alternatives.

June - Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

If you aren’t yet doing all you can to involve yourself in recycling, now’s the time to do so. Check local resources to ensure that you’re recycling what your town waste management accepts, and separate accordingly. Another tip is to reuse products, such as cardboard and paper, to alleviate the burden on our forest population. You can help make the world a better place for everyone.

July - Assist charities.

Getting involved on a regular basis with a charity is satisfying for many people. There are many opportunities within charities, and many are driven by their volunteer force. Choose one that is close to your heart or utilizes one of your talents. Carpenters are desired by charitable organizations, such as Habitat for Humanity. There are other ways to support charities, usually by word of mouth and purchasing products whose proceeds go to the charity. For example, Trekstock, a hip English charity that raises funds for Teenage Cancer Trust, has a wild website that caters to rock and rollers and their style. Trekstock puts on shows in the UK, but anyone, anywhere can purchase their t-shirts, bags, and ephemera created by some very cool designers. Pick a charity that speaks to you and donate your time, money, or energy in any way that you see fit.

August - Go on a volunteer vacation.

Instead of taking in the sights, why not offer to help your fellow man? Some states and countries offer a variety of outreach projects that get you involved with the local residents. Not only do you immerse yourself in a different culture but you also help others maintain their livelihoods.

September - Help the elderly.

Our elderly population is often neglected in American communities. By volunteering to accomplish little tasks for them, you can provide great help and, at the same time, learn something new and interesting by listening to their stories.

October - Donate your clothes to charity.

This month, take stock of everything you have and everything you can live without. Providing others with shoes and clothing will truly warm your heart and make a difference.

November - Keep your community clean.

Start where you live and participate in clean-up drives to beautify your community. Involving your family in such activities as harvesting a local community garden or cleaning hiking trails, teaches future generations the importance of doing something good for their community.

December - Raise your awareness.

Get yourself ready for next year’s resolutions by researching worthy causes online. Ask friends and neighbors about their favorite charities and causes.

With the year almost over, it’s time to stop and take stock of all that’s happened. For most of us, it’s time to list those New Year’s Resolutions. Some folks will have their resolutions all mapped out, while for others will take their time thinking about what to do to make the coming year more worthwhile. Here’s some food for thought: Why not make resolutions that last?

Maxine is a dedicated mother who works to instill in her children the ideas of giving, charity and frugality so they have a solid foundation for their future. When not with her family, she works for Treetopia, a seller of artificial Christmas trees. The Christmas tree sale this holiday season was particularly busy but a great reminder for her of the need to balance work and family.

Maxine is a dedicated mother who works to instill in her children the ideas of giving, charity and frugality so they have a solid foundation for their future. When not with her family, she works for Treetopia, a seller of artificial Christmas trees. The Christmas tree sale this holiday season was particularly busy but a great reminder for her of the need to balance work and family.