Want More Influence? Give to Others First
December 18th 2008
I have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about giving. Time, money, life… There are many ways to give to others and I’ve seen a lot of parallels to that in the blogging world with my site as well. I have really stepped up the last month or two by looking to put a lot more effort into promoting other bloggers, my subscribers, people who comment on my site and basically everyone I interact with in this digital world. It’s not that I didn’t do that before, but never as generously or as often. I put more of my efforts into content and reading others material without always having a lot to add or say.
Shift Your Actions
However, recently I’ve started putting just a few minutes of all my usual reading time, writing and thinking into helping promote others or by commenting on their sites. I’ve looked at offering more help on this site (please just ask if you need any for something…) and I’ve been much more consistent at leaving articles or reviews when I read some great content instead of just rolling on to the next thing in my list. I can say that this shift in my actions has had a big ripple effect, something I never expected and it’s wonderful to experience it first hand.
Show Appreciation
I’m working to make more of my actions show appreciation for online content, authors, subscribers and others in my digital sphere. Just one extra minute after reading an article to add a review or comment and it’s increased my interaction with others by many times. Instead of forgetting what I read or who I read it from, I have a personal interest in the author once giving them feedback and this makes it much easier to remember the content in the first place as well. I also find that I value it more if I put just a minute into reading an about page or exploring a few extra articles while stopping by someone’s site.
Everyone knows how they feel when they get appreciated so make that shift and show just a little more appreciation to others around you as well. Take the first step and put it out there. Here’s why…
Social Media Reciprocation
Well, I’ll call it reciprocation and it applies in more areas in life than just the social media aspect but as a blogger and considering the point of this article, I think the social media reciprocation has the biggest impact. Sites like StumbleUpon drive a huge amount of traffic to this site and I’ve connected with a lot of like minded people which is why the interest continues to build. It’s easy to find people with similar interests and there are a lot of people with these same thoughts to show appreciation and help each other out. If you are willing to go do that first yourself, you will only soon find out that people will return the favor without you even asking.
My traffic and readership have continued to grow and recently increased quite drastically (over 30% per month) due to this small shift in my actions. It’s payed off, the social media arena has helped to pay that back and I’m happy to that much more communication with other great like minded people. Here is an excellent guide to getting more from stumbleupon written at Inside Writer.
Influence
So I started this thinking about influence and I know that when you look to do what others value first, you will have more influence on them. Every time you do something for someone else, whether it seems noticed or not, I think you gain a small piece of influence. Whether that influence is important at that time or some time well into the future, I don’t think it matters, either way, the influence that is built remains there and was all created by giving first.
So I hope I can have at least some influence here as well and encourage you to please, take one extra minute after reading great articles to add some comment or review the page in your favorite social media. You’re welcome to do this here but I’d prefer you do it with other articles as I hate to seem like I’m asking for that! Here are some great articles from my top commenters lately if you need a starting point. I’d love to hear comments how you’ve experienced this as well or ideas that you do to give first?
Jonathan at
Even though society likes to enforce rules and rights to balance out people in each other’s eyes, it hasn’t worked to ensure that everyone is treated fairly and with the respect and love they each deserve. We judge people every day, we compare ourselves to others, others to others and others to whom we wish those others were. This happens in all areas of our lives and its encouraged constantly by everything around us, such as in the media and advertising we’re bombarded with.






Be the Most You Can Be
So I don’t really think that looking at areas of change in our lives is in any way focusing on what is wrong. Instead, its a way to recognize the areas that work well and that we want more of. For some people that is success in work, or goals and plans with family, or areas of their spiritual lives. No matter where this focus is for you, you can approach it by looking to be the best person you can possibly be and to make the most of your life. That enables you to drive change and maximize the great things in your life and the lives of those around you.
Welcoming Change
Change is not a bad thing in life and it is certainly not a bad thing when you are looking to change in a way that is more beneficial to your lifestyle and those around you. Striving to change in order to bring more happiness, joy, love and service into your life is not something that should be ever looked down on. Changing this type of area in life is not about changing something that is broken, but instead, changing something to make more of it. To reinforce your passions, to experience more joy and happiness in life and to bring more love and service into the world is worth welcoming into your life. Look to change these things and bring them into your life.
Another perspective is that change is often presented as an opportunity, which most people would consider far from avoiding what is broken. I see the same when looking to change the things you want in life. It’s an opportunity to improve what you want and desire more of, not a way to fix anything that is broken. I can’t remember who said this, but it’s been said, "That everyone makes the best decision they can possibly make at the time with what they know" (or something close to that) and I think that makes the point that as we learn more and understand more, our decisions will change but it is not because there is something to fix, it is just something to change!
Appreciating What You Have
With all of these comments about welcoming change and looking at self-improvement from a more positive perspective, I definitely agree with Jonathon that there is value to appreciate what you do have, instead of thinking that there are things to fix. However, I disagree that it’s something to simply avoid because of that attitude. We often forget to tell people about the things we appreciate and especially how we appreciate them in our lives. This is hugely valuable not only to see and be thankful for the things in your own life but to also share that and show the same appreciation to others for the impact they have! Wouldn’t you want your friends, colleagues, boss and loved ones to tell you sometimes what they appreciate about you? Of course, so why don’t you start and tell them first what you see!
Being thankful for your talents, skills, health and life are all ways to better recognize how you can use those in life as well. The things you do appreciate should not be hidden or protected from others, they are gifts and items to be cherished not by yourself, but with those you love and care for. Whether they are material things, skills or talents, you can find ways to share them with others and still appreciate them.
I truly believe that the changes in live, the experiences everyone has and the skills and talents people develop are not by their own doing, but gifts by the grace of God. Appreciating those and making the most of them for the service to others is worth any focus and attention you can give them. This includes talents in self-improvement and personal development. People have grown accustomed to strive only for material things and be complacent with their mind’s ability in all areas of life from knowledge to spirituality and self-discovery. These are the areas of life that can bring an understanding of meaning and purpose beyond what any material, temporary thing can provide so using them to find, explore and share the things that are right in your life is not only something you should appreciate, but also something you should continue to develop and share with others!