I’ve been quite consumed lately by the many activities I’m involved in and commit to as you may have noticed from my lack of updates here. Work of course is busy for me as always (and yes, I’m grateful that it is, since so many people are not finding that recently), and my side business of graphics and animation has been exceptionally busy the last few months with good size jobs and back to back projects. This isn’t normal for me and I’ve taken on some projects that have been consuming much of my spare time.

Its often these rushed periods in life that really make me appreciate the joys that are in life and every moment I do have to enjoy stands out in the hectic day as a time to just stop for a moment and appreciate what joys are available to me. I am grateful for those moments and take extra note at busy times to just see how many joys there truly are in life.

Sometime there seems to be less time for joyful activities when you are overly busy but on the other hand, those joyful moments can be far more intense from the contrast of it. Here are some of the joys that particularly stand out for me during these times.

The Joys of Work

While work is absolutely a contributor to the stress I mentioned above, there is still much joy in it. A big joy for me in my work (whether that in engineering or 3D animation) is the joy of creativity. I’ve written a few articles recently about creativity and how it is a form of art in life. That ability to create and drive change is a huge joy for me in my work and an important reason for doing what I do. There is joy in that work and something I much appreciate.

The Joys of Relationships

While some aspects of relationships can suffer from having less time to spend together, they can also force new focus and appreciation. Of course, the one that stands out for me is the joy I have from my relationship with my amazing wife. She is so supportive during my busy times, which helps immensely to cope with the added stress. That support and the precious time we do have to spend together is one of total joy.

Friendships and time spend with other loved ones are can also be intensified when that time is limited as you time and relationships often is taken for granted when it occurs every day or at least on a regular basis. Take some of that away however and you definitely notice the joy more when you have a chance to experience it again.

The Joy of God

While the peace and love that God provides is always available to me, it’s especially important in stressful times as that joy is something you can rely on and help you cope with the situation. Whether it’s the awe of nature, the inspiration of God’s word, or the power and supportive strength that faith based belief provides, I can always rely on the Joy of God and hold dearly that ability in times of stress.

The Joys of Sports

Other joys of mine are my sports. Oh so many sports now that summer is upon me. I just got home from a great weekend out at our place at the lake and we spent part of the day out on the water, enjoying the sun, freezing lake water and some most so pleasurable wake boarding! I play soccer on a men’s league a couple nights a week as well and I HAVE to get out either on my own or with bikers on my mountain unicycle for a couple hours as well each week.

Stop and Notice Your Joys

So I didn’t want to only share some of my joys in life but to also encourage and hopefully inspire just a few readers to stop for a moment and look at what is joyous in your life as well. Are you finding your time being eaten away by the many things that absorb you in your life? If so, stop and notice what some of the joys you have in those activities. Perhaps they are small things or only short amounts of time for them but they are still there. They are easily taken for granted and not something to be forgotten. Stop and notice your joys!

Posted by Mike King under Life | 11 Comments »

Have you ever heard yourself or someone you know say, "I’ll be happy when…"?  Do you think that happiness is something you will have or get in the future?  Are there things you think you need to do or have before you will be truly happy?  I’ve learned that you can control your own happiness and this article will help you learn to enable yourself to experience happiness anytime, anywhere, in any situation.

The Myth of Happiness

Happiness is one of those long sought after, conceptual ideas and it has turned into a sense of longing and searching for many people instead of a state of being and feeling.  People have learned over centuries to look to the future to find more happiness instead of looking at the here and now with what they have.  Well, did you know you can have happiness now?  You don’t need anything else or anyone to be happy.

Have you ever been happy before in your life?  Are there moments when you’ve experienced more happiness than right now?  I suspect there are!  If so, great, then you can harness that and be happy now as well.

Happiness is Internal

Many think that happiness comes from having lots of money, being attractive, having the perfect job or the latest gadget.  Some people think it comes from circumstances in life or your environment.  I personally don’t understand how people let themselves belief this so easily (obviously the media is very good at what they do for consumerism, but that’s another article).  Studies, experience and worldly looks at happiness show that it doesn’t come from all your possessions, your genes or any external factors.  It comes from within.

There are several different factors that do feed our happiness.  Part of our happiness factor has been shown to be stemmed from our genetics and youngest years in life.  This is a significant portion of our happiness which tends to give us a consistent fall back point for our happiness.  It can move up and down from that point, but it seems this point is different for different people and doesn’t tend to change much through life.  So, that area is not really within our control so there is not much point on dwelling or working on that.  I have read however, that our genetics and base happiness level can be as much of 50% of what contributes to our happiness.

The next factor is circumstance.  This is the one that takes the most blame for not being happy yet studies show it is only about 10% of our happiness factor.  So, this area while may seem like the most important area to control, is fairly insignificant when it comes to our happiness levels.  It’s something to realize but keep in mind that doing something about something in this area is not very impactful and it isn’t a factor that can easily be changed, so also not worth a lot of time considering the value.

The last factor however, is completely different.  It’s your attitude, thoughts and feelings about happiness.  The voluntary control area of happiness where you think about your past, present and future to adjust your level of happiness.  This area is the area you have complete control over as it’s based only on your own internal thoughts.

Past

How you think about your past and let it affect you today is up to you.  If you put more thoughts on learning from the past, and use that to make life better now instead of dwelling on hardship or struggles, you can gain more happiness right now. People who focus on and remember the good times and happy memories are happier than those who remember all the unhappy times.  Having an attitude of appreciation and gratitude for those good times strengthens that happiness you can experience today.

Present

Your present is something you must practice in to increase your happiness.  How you see things and respond to things is definitely up to you, and doing so in a way that brings more happiness is certainly a better option than choosing to bring sad or disappointing views into your mind. Look around to find simple things to take pleasure in and consider not what you don’t have, but what you do have.  Having and putting time into relationships and enjoyable activities are great ways to experience more happiness in the present.

Future

Your future and more specifically, how you think it will be, will also greatly affect your happiness.  If you condition yourself to think that you need something else (like a possession) to be happy, then when you get to your future you will be trained to continue to look for the next thing before being happy.  Instead, look at the things that make you happy now which are not external and think and remind yourself of still experiencing them in the future.  Be optimistic with your expectations for happiness and you can drive yourself to be more happy!

Be Happy Now

So all of this leaves only one thing when it comes to happiness.  Make a decision to be happy now and to change your thinking towards the things that contribute to happiness instead of deterring it.  Choose your response to situations and live with a hope and appreciation to what is good, what is right, and what makes you happy.

Posted by Mike King under Life | 28 Comments »

Author: Daniel Gilbert

Stumbling on Happiness

Daniel Gilbert makes a wonderful examination about the "only animal that thinks about the future" in his book "Stumbling on Happiness".  I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed this book.  I generally look for specific actions and books that give a variety of guidance but I must say that this one offers none of that.  What it does do however, is examine what humans are capable of from the thinking perspective and he presents how that can be a huge benefit to our social and life decisions yet at the same time a limiting hindrance in our decisions and thoughts.

Gilbert makes reference to tens of studies and correlates them into a pretty common theme for the book.  Humans are pretty bad at predicting what will make them happy!

I absolutely love Gilbert’s style of writing as there is much subtle humor and jibes toward the general intelligence (or lack thereof) at people’s ability to gauge and plan their own happiness.  He has a very engaging style with this work and leads you around a variety of topics on happiness with scientific studies, personal observations and a lot of intriguing questions to ponder.  He demonstrates how our brains lead us more often than not to obscurity in the future when it comes to happiness and there is little we can do about it, no matter how hard we try.

Subjective Happiness

Another important premise of the book is that happiness is completely subjective.  One person’s idea of extreme happiness can be very different from anothers’.  Not only that but individuals are not even consistent with their own happiness as what may have led to us being extremely happy a year ago or even last week, could be completely different now.  It will also be completely different in the future.  All of our experiences are faded in our memories so what we think we were feeling in the past that made us happy shifts over time in our memories.  Similarly, our imaginations cannot be relied on for future prediction of happiness as it is altered by our memories and tinted by what we are experiencing at the time we imagine it.

Joy of Delusion

The examination that happiness really cannot be predicted, remembered or even repeated leaves us with one option, to enjoy the delusion and understand that happiness is what it is at that time only and will never again be the same so get what you can from it at the time.  We’re incapable of imagining accurately so I’m certainly not going to try to think of happiness in the future.  I’m instead going to enjoy what I can, when i can and know that my experiences are not something I can accurate predict in the future so its rather mute to try.

Some of the things presented in the book and how it affects happiness are:

• Our minds often exaggerate or filter out content in our memories
• Imaginations are never accurate predictions since our applied memories always shift
• People naturally rationalize situations to conclude themselves into some kind of happy state
• Happiness is rarely as good as we imagine it and it rarely lasts as long as we think it will
• Things that prevent happiness are often repeated and ignored when searching for happiness

These (and more) are covered in 5 parts just to give you an idea of the various angles he approaches things with.

1. Prospection
2. Subjectivity
3. Realism
4. Presentism
5. Rationalization

Anyway, I definitely recommend this book, not so you gain a better understanding of how to be happiness, but more to realize what happiness is not, and how that changes some of your beliefs around happiness that you use to steer your life.  The book is incredibly funny and quite similar to the books, Blink and Freakonomics in study and style.  I’d recommend the unabridged audio version as it’s great fun to hear the author himself putting the emphasis on his content with wit and humor.  I certainly was happy listening to it!

Posted by Mike King under Book Reviews | 5 Comments »

This article is part of a series called, "Maximum Productivity " in which I’ll explore the topic of attitude.

See the rest of the series here:
Intro: Maximum Productivity: Series Introduction
Part 1: Maximum Productivity: Perspective
Part 2: Maximum Productivity: Attitude
Part 3: Maximum Productivity: Focus
Part 4: Maximum Productivity: Persistence
Part 5: Maximum Productivity: Adventure
Part 6: Maximum Productivity: Connections

Every avenue of life has one variable that allows you to have a unique experience from it.  That is your attitude.  You can experience the exact set of events as 100 other people, but you will have your own unique experience, as will each of the other people.  The way you experience something and how you think and feel through that is what makes you, YOU!  The attitude you have and demonstrate completely shapes not only your actions at that specific moment, but your entire personality and character.  Similarly, it shapes the way you look at productivity and that’s what we’ll look at here.

Self Confidence

The biggest area I see suffering when people do not have a healthy attitude is self confidence.  I don’t want to label an attitude as good or bad as that seems to superficial to me but what I do want to do is lean those terms to what I would call a healthy or unhealthy attitude.  A healthy attitude when it comes to maximizing your productivity is one that further enables a person to accomplish the things they put their mind to.  An unhealthy attitude is one that diminishes that.  The things that affect that are really a collection of the thoughts, words, expression and body posture.  All these things make up your physiology and it leaves in your mind, your own interpretation of what you think of yourself.  Looking at that over a variety of actions and time is what really shapes your self confidence.  If you look to build that confidence by choosing and steering your mind and make visible the actions you want, you have direct control of what becomes your attitude.  There are many ways to choose and control your attitude and instead of getting into many details, I’ll simply reference a few articles I’ve written before that should help to control and set the attitude that is healthy for maximum productivity!

• Beliefs: They’re Entirely Yours to Control
• Goal Setting: Setting and Identifying
• Passion: Find your passion in life
• You Choose Every Response
• Stop Complaining To Instantly Improve Your Life
• A Guide to Mastering Your State of Mind

Motivation

A big part of productivity is about understanding motivation and to see where your attitude ties in with that.  I recently wrote an article about How to Find and Develop your Own Internal Motivation and this is a major step in shaping a productive attitude.  The things that motivate you in a positive way with regards to attitude is anything that leads you closer to your productive actions and results.  If it steers you away from or deters you from those then it’s not a productive motivator.  If you are to stop and list all the things that motivate and demotivate you towards being more productive, you can then begin to choose to engage in the helpful things and stay away from the ones that hinder you.  The more you experience the things that help motivate you, the more you will see progress and improvements in your productivity and this continues to cascade.

Creativity

Another aspect of a healthy attitude for maximum productivity is with your creativity.  Creativity is something that enables people to get unstuck in difficult circumstances, see solutions to problems that might otherwise hold someone back and it gives you an opportunity to try new things.  It is an important trait of any highly productive person and so exercising your creative mind strengthens it and continues to build an attitude of working towards an end.  Carrying through with that and learning from creative work is what enables you to make quicker judgments and decisions on similar circumstances in the future, which continues to increase your productivity.

Health

I included health as an important aspect of building a productive attitude because I constantly see how health affects people.  It is certainly related to self-confidence but I believe it is a strong enough component on its own, it’s worth including.  Health is more than just your physical health, it also includes your mental health, spiritual health and relational health.  These areas all highly impact people’s attitudes and any one of them can quickly shift a person from a great day and mood to a terrible one, or vise versa.

If you want to examine ways to improve your attitude, then these 4 areas are great starting areas.  Identify the things you love in each and do more of it.  The things you don’t like, stop.  It’s fairly simple.  For example, if you find that your mental health is affected because you like to learn, then spend more time learning.  This will improve your mental health and can help your attitude.  Not only that, but it’s a powerful way to see that you can steer your actions which applies to other productivity areas as well.

Happiness

Last and certainly not least, I feel that happiness plays an important role in attitude which further shapes a person’s ability to be productive.  Everything that happens to us influences us, but how we react and how we let that affect us is a direct reflection on our choices and IF we let it change our mood.  You have a choice whether you want some sad news to make you sad as well or if you can continue to see positive things and be happy even amongst sad circumstances or events.  A person with a happy attitude can generally deal with bad circumstances more effectively because they are able to keep a positive mind and look for ways to improve and get back to a happy state.  If you let yourself become what you experience, you will likely find yourself having a lot of difficult days with regular poor moods.  That inhibits the mind from seeing positive solutions and getting attentive to do productive things.

When people who are very happy encounter unhappy circumstances, they take responsibility to change that and make things better.  This applies with productivity as well and is a superb training grounds to not only look for ways to improve and get better, but for overcoming situations that would otherwise get in the way of you reaching your maximum productivity!

Posted by Mike King under Life | 14 Comments »

I recently wrote about ways to not judge others and instead make yourself helpful in such a situation and while that will hopefully be one method to learn from, it is much bigger than that. A recent article I read on The Good Life about judgment mentioned that judging yourself is like a poison. I really like that analogy since there are many things affected when you constantly judge yourself, the biggest one is your happiness and it spills over into many other areas of your life.

The Judgment Spillway

Judging things is the norm these days and for most people, its not even considered a bad thing.  Well, sorry to break it to you, but it is.  Its an infectious, dangerous act that impacts others, your own ideas and behaviors and even your happiness.  Its typically looked at as such an innocent act and is often just brushed off as an opinion or comment.  Judgments are used for comedy in nearly every sitcom on television and its a continual form of entertainment around us.

All these judgments (no matter how simply or innocent they seem) lead us to looking at the physical appearance or first impressions that develop into habits when deciding on our own relationships, actions or behavior.  This superficial level that is only visible builds a pathway to continually look at such a superficial level and it trains us to stop looking at what a person is really like or about before forming some biased surface level opinion.  This training, whether its wanted or not, spills into our judgments of ourselves as well.  It teaches us to respond quickly and take a negative view over seeing the proper intention or thoughts behind something.  We turn the response of others into an attack on ourselves and we take things personally, get defensive and withdrawal from conversations and relationships.  All these things can affect one’s self esteem and they continue to erode at any remaining self confidence without even being conscious of it.

Turn That Self Judgment Away

The best way to deal with these judgments is to simply turn them away.  Don’t consider them judgments and look at more productive ways to use them.  This works whether someone else told them to you or they are in your own mind.   There are many ways to do this without allowing it to pick away at you.  Some of the methods available (which each really deserve an article of their own) are:

• Expect people to judge you so you’re not shocked by it
• Remember positive comments to help offset ones that tear you down from others
• Learn to accept compliments
• Be humble about yourself
• Accept who you are by recognizing your accomplishments and choices
• Know you can always improve and that everyone has room to grow
• Reflect and learn about yourself to understand and take advantage of your strengths and weaknesses
• Consider all comments (attacks or compliments) as feedback, something to learn from going forward
• Know that most judgments are caused by temporary emotional responses and not always true

Happiness Starts at the Self

Happiness is definitely at stake if you let others’ and your own judgments tear you down and belittle your life, actions and relationships. You need to control how receiving and making judgments affects you and so reducing them with the steps here is a great way to change and control what you do when it comes to judgments.  By controlling judgments and looking forward instead of dwelling on things based on judgments is a great way to live and bring allow more happiness to exist inside you.  Its freeing to deflect those judgments, hold back your own and to live your life the way you want!

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?"

Matthew 7:1-29

I’m surprised I had as much to say as this without getting into more depth about Christian beliefs and how judgment is seen from that angle as well.  An important part of the verse above is to see that you should look first at yourself, before casting judgment to others. However, its also not saying to never judge, but to only judge first what you have already been or expect to be judged on as well.  This is a touchy subject with Christians and can easily spark a big discussion.  My point is not to raise an turmoil, but to recognize that there is SOME reason to judge but I want to encourage you to look at yourself first.  Look at your life, study yourself, the judgments others pass, use it to learn from and seek understanding in a spiritual sense around judgments.  Judgments can sabotage your happiness without you ever realizing it.  Learn to change that and you’ll see as well, that happiness starts at the self.

Posted by Mike King under God | 3 Comments »

Whatever you believe, you are right in that. Everything is what you believe and everything you do is because of your beliefs. So, if you want to change the things you do (to get different results) then it all leads back to your beliefs. This article covers a few different angles of beliefs but focuses on how you can create, reinforce and use your beliefs to impact your life in a positive way. The beliefs that I am writing about here are core beliefs that drive you with reason to do the things you do. Not simple or dispositional beliefs like statements or opinions on a subject such as "Do you believe a tree makes a sound if it falls where no one is there to hear it?". These core beliefs are not easily changed and are not formed by a simple thought or guess, they are developed over time.

The Root of All Beliefs

Some people feel that you can develop beliefs by choosing them (I certainly agree with that) and others feel that beliefs come about only through experiences that train you to think about things a certain way, which eventually becomes a belief. Looking at both of these options, there are obvious arguments for both side as to which happens most often, but I look from the perspective of which I want to happen more often and that is certainly creating or choosing my own belief. I don’t really like the idea of waiting for things to happen and then root a belief around that, I much prefer the idea of building a foundation based on decisions and choices that I make. This seems to latch more responsibility and personal accountability to the belief since it is something I deliberately made. So, even if I choose and develop my own beliefs, that is just the root of it, it says nothing of the way that belief will actually affect me. And if I choose my own belief, aren’t I then empowered to use that to steer my actions in a way that’s pleasing to me?

Whether you say you can, or you say you can’t, your right. Anthony Robbins

I love that quote from Anthony Robbins. It’s an argument he uses where people look at making an excuse as justification for not being able to do something. If you don’t believe that you can do something, then you can’t, so it’s not really needing an outside excuse, since your own belief is what prevented you from being able in the first place! Associating your beliefs with your thoughts, your mind set and what you say are all critical elements that all affect each other. You can easily see this with individuals with low self esteem for example, they will constantly say they can’t do something and they actually believe that themselves which just feeds a vicious circle as they think it over and over.

You can certainly learn to change that thinking for yourself to avoid being in that circle of thought you don’t want to be in. I recently wrote about how to do that by mastering your state of mind , which will definitely help you in controlling your beliefs so I recommend reading that article if you haven’t before.

Creating Your Beliefs

Beliefs are not usually something people hunt down and look for in life. They are often just felt or learned through experience over the course of time. What I find very interesting though is that its possible to deliberately create your beliefs instead of just waiting for them to show up. There is a lot of value in this and it helps you focus your attention in many areas on your beliefs. Doing this in goal setting for example, helps you focus on goals that are based by your beliefs, which are much easier to achieve and more valuable in your life as these are also the areas that lead to passions. I’ve written in detail about using your beliefs to find your passions , but I believe it works both ways. You an also use your passions to create new beliefs.

Looking at ways to create new beliefs before there is an experiential basis for them can be done with a number of simple steps.

• State new opinions – This helps you to begin agreeing with your own opinion.
• Research areas of interest – Doing this will often give you strong evidence and expert opinion to help you firm up a new belief.
• Question everything – Questioning things leads to a deeper understanding. Deep understanding is a strong foundation for a belief as it is harder to sway a belief that is well known.
• Continuously Learn – Learning new information, improving oneself and exploring new topics can often trigger new beliefs and is wonderful way to create them.
• Share your beliefs with others – Relationships are an invaluable source of new experiences, discussions and great emotions. These are great ways to discover new beliefs about yourself and others.

Reinforcing Your Beliefs

The Placebo Effect is a when the outcome of an action or event changes due to the individual expecting or believing a particular outcome. This is often discussed in relation to health and drug use, where a patient reacts positively from taking a drug that they think will help, even if it is a fake drug like a sugar pill. The Placebo Effect is real and there is much evidence to support its impact. It is also something to take advantage of. Having a belief will inevitably make that outcome more likely, so you should also look to reinforce the beliefs you want and focus on the positive beliefs you have so that they help drive positive outcomes. If you have a lot of negative beliefs, those are just as likely to cause the Placebo Effect but unfortunately, with a more negative outcome.

Look to reinforce the beliefs you want to have and change your beliefs around the ones you don’t want. This is really a case of the classic "Glass Half Full, or Glass Half Empty" mindset. There are many techniques to changing your beliefs and here are just a few you might want to use if your beliefs are not positive or particularly strong.

• Write down your beliefs you want and review them regularly.
• Before bed, review your day and think about each time a positive belief came to mind.
• Share your beliefs with others – This helps discover new beliefs like I mentioned above but its also very useful to identify similar beliefs with others as shared beliefs will definitely help you strengthen them.
• Affirmations work for many people and can help you reinforce existing and new beliefs.
• Turn your negative beliefs into a positive by looking for something you can learn from it, or a new opportunity from a negative event.

Using Your Beliefs

I’ve mentioned a few areas that beliefs relate to and its great to be able to use your beliefs with those. This includes many areas about passions , identifying and setting meaningful belief based goals , and in sharing your beliefs and opinions with others to build relationships. One additional area that I believe is significantly affected by your beliefs is achievement . The more I learn and read about great authors, experts in their fields, leaders and great teachers, the more I have realized that they all share similar attitudes and beliefs about achievement which has made everything possible for them. They belief in the capability of themselves and others and know that change is possible and that they will have an impact on others. These beliefs are exactly what enables them to do what they do best and it inspires others to develop similar beliefs and make their own achievement and success possible as well.

On the other side of this, humans have created limiting beliefs that hold people back in many areas as well. For centuries no one believed that the earth was round and it limited people from daring to explore past known areas from the fear of falling off the earth! People believed it was impossible to fly something heavier than air and this limited progress for decades. Often the unknown or fear of it creates a strong negative belief which not only limits you, but others around you from achieving what is thought to be impossible. There are great examples of this in sports and the human physical capabilities. It is constantly changing nowadays with records and speeds being broken every year by great athletes and competitors using nothing but the human body. It has not always been like that however, as beliefs have changed drastically. For decades and decades, no one thought it was possible for a human to run a 4 minute mile. Hundreds tried and they continually failed for years! Finally, after many attempts, one person eventually beat the 4 minutes mile and it immediately change everyone’s beliefs about the human capability. Over the next month, 30 additional runners broke the four minute mile! This was changed entirely because of the beliefs.

So, knowing what beliefs can do for you and how they affect you, I definitely encourage you to work on your beliefs, change the ones you don’t like, refocus them in a positive way, look to develop new ones in areas you want to achieve and share your beliefs with others to reinforce theirs and your own. I’m sure there are other ways to develop your beliefs and I’d love to hear any suggestions!

Posted by Mike King under Life | 8 Comments »