6 Ways To Get What You Want
Life June 7th, 2008 There are countless books, movies, blogs, and speakers talking about how to get what you want in the sense of achievement. If you’ve looked into self help and self improvement content much you’ve probably found this already. There is definitely a number of angles that these many resources list as ways to get what you want and I want to outline those that I have encountered both in that content and from my own experience.
Simply Ask For What You Want
This is by far the simplest, yet unfortunately, its usually ignored. Most people are truly afraid to ask for what they want because of their fears of rejection, or from being embarrassed, feeling inferior and many other emotional and fear based reasons. I’ve written before on the topic of asking for help in my article, “Ask For Help Already… ” Very often you will find that others are more than willing to simply GIVE you exactly what you want. You might not get exactly what you’re asking for and you will likely not get it the first person you ask, but if you persist, you will get what you want. You might get a portion of what you ask for, or help or guidance to get you closer to what you want or perhaps just encouragement to keep asking others, but asking for help will always bring you closer to getting what you want. There is little or nothing to loose to ask for what you want and the clearly you are and more persistent, the better!
Focus Your Thoughts on What You Want
There are many books and programs available to learn to focus your thoughts. All kinds of books like Think and Grow Rich which I highly recommend reading to The Secret , which has great concepts presented in a unique way. While focusing your thoughts on what you want, it doesn’t really do anything completely on its own. Its not quite as automatic as some would like you to believe. However, there is definitely advantages from focusing your thoughts and that is to help you notice, concentrate, and think about everything that relates to the things you want because of your thoughts. You will notice more people to help or that can help you, you will see more examples of ways to get what you want and you will have those thoughts in many more situations. All these thoughts trigger small actions which is what really makes the difference. It can be simple conversations, a small amount of planning either on paper or in your head on a more regular basis, and just the continual reminders in your head to make the changes needed to get what you want are what make a difference here. Its not the thoughts themselves, but it is everything that those thoughts help make happen.
Set Goals and Take Action To Make Them Happen
Of course a major way to get what you want is to set goals and act on them. I’ve written a number of articles and a series on goal setting if you need more help with them. The real point of goals for getting what you want is to set a plan and put action to it. It doesn’t do much good to have a bunch of things you want if you are doing nothing to achieve them. They aren’t going to simple appear for you and you’ll need to put some effort into making those things happen. Countless studies and stats show the benefits of writing down and using goals to achieve what you want and that is certainly one of the best ways I’ve experienced as well. Sometimes the wants you have are very grand and take great courage to make progress towards them and that is the whole point of setting goals. Its something to work towards and if done properly, gives a way to measure progress towards them which accelerates progress and gets you motivated to keep the momentum going towards what you ultimately want.
Count on the Law of Reciprocity
This one is one of my favorites, not because its the best way to get what you want, but its the most satisfying and not intended really to even get you what you want. That reason doesn’t make much sense for being on this list unless you know what the law of reciprocity actually is. Reciprocity is that you get back what you give. So, don’t wait for things to happen, step out on a limb and be the first to give. Be generous to fulfill others’ wants and sooner or later, it will come back to you. Don’t expect it, don’t wait for it, just enjoy the giving in the first place and only marvel at the joy and satisfaction that it can give you immediately. This will pay off in the long run as well and its a sure way to ultimately get what you want with nothing but a joyous journey getting there.
Use Your Passion and Be Enthusiastic
Passion is not something that can easily be contained and is exactly why it goes hand in hand with enthusiasm. Its a contagious trait and will influence others you encounter to more readily help you. People are generally happier to donate, help or give things to a person or cause who absolutely LOVES everything about that and truly wants to make something out of what you have to give. If you share your passion and demonstrate a high level of enthusiasm for what you want, you are also more likely to get what you want.
Never Give Up
Its far to easy to become complacent and satisfied with a comfortable easy life in our rich society and so unfortunately, there are a growing number of people who roll through life never going after what they really want and giving up far to easily at chasing their real desires. Things you can do here to help with this is to look for progress and track and recognize any improvements or advancements towards what you want, instead of only looking at the end result. Value any progress made no matter how far you are from having what you want and you can motivate yourself to continue. Some of our great leaders had this attitude to never give up and show perfectly how it is needed to get what you want.
“If I find 10,000 ways something won’t work, I haven’t failed.”
“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”–Thomas Edison
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June 10th, 2008 at 5:59 AM
Hello, it’s Emily from your blog post regarding worry. I find that in my darkest moments, sometimes remembering the Law of Reciprocity is helpful. There are many days I think I won’t get through, but I do take joy in trying to help others and at the very least it can keep me focused on something else than my own mental health drama. You are correct not to expect a payback for engaging in positive giving to others, however in being generous I can sort of make sense of the world and in a small way honor everyone who’s helped me. And that’s been a lot of people over the years. I’m not always able to give as much as I would like, but even simple things like emailing a friend to see how they are keeps me feeling connected.
June 10th, 2008 at 6:03 AM
You are so right Emily, and thanks for posting. Giving without expectation opens a world of happiness, godliness and is a way to get through those darkest moments. It doesn’t matter what you have to give, its how you give it and your heart behind it!
June 19th, 2008 at 3:37 AM
Fourteenth Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life…
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June 19th, 2008 at 2:10 PM
boy i would be so happy if i got whatever i asked for 😛 ( .. or maybe not…) but yes , you have to set goals , and focus on achieving them to get far!
February 3rd, 2010 at 8:52 AM
Some times it is difficult to stop and think about giving, especially when you feel you don’t even have enough to give yourself, however, Emily, you are so right! The Law of Reciprocity almost has a magical boomerang effect! Not only does it always come back to me, but the feeling of helping some one else gets me more excited than when I am actually helping myself. Regardless of what comes back to me, that ‘high’ I get is more than worth it. Thank you for this article Mike!