Life and Work Balance
Business December 29th, 2008Life and work balance seems like it is always a massive struggle for so many people in their lives. There are constant pressures and trade-offs between working more to get ahead and having time for the rest of your life that seem to always clash no matter what the circumstances. Here, I’ll present some options for dealing with this.
The Dilemma
Most people have an impression that has developed that you must working longer hours in order to get ahead in your career. This comes from a huge range of sources nowadays, from work itself, the hectic busy lives in cities right back to seeing our parents as children and how we are taught in school. Everyone talks about working more and working longer in order to get what you want.
In learning this, people who have hopes and ambitions for their careers are trained early that it is necessary to put in those extra hours to get ahead which will have a drastic effect on your personal life outside of work. This is the dilemma one faces when trying to balance life and work.
The Timing
Timing of this dilemma means multiple things to me. It is about the timing of the balance itself and the timing of the beliefs that feed and re-enforce the dilemma in the first place. It seems that people change their minds on this belief as they progress through life so where you are at in your career, position or even your age has something to do with how to balance work and life. I personally don’t believe this one bit and I think that people should be much more careful with when and to what extent these beliefs drive them. Young people tend to be looked upon as people with less responsibility who can and therefore, should working more in their life. The age old comments about people who live on their own, have fewer responsibilities and who don’t have kids is something that makes my blood boil. No one should judge others in this way and if you ask me, young folks make a massive life mistake by adopting this thinking that they should work more now and then later in life have time to do all the other things.
Timing your life is not something you should ever plan for, it’s too short, too unexpected and would be terribly irresponsible not to use your time wisely at any point in life. A young person should take on work life balance even more seriously than others as it will have a bigger impact on the rest of their life than if they only have 5-10 years left to work. Imagine if you developed a practice to always have time for yourself each week when you were 20 years old and fit work in without making a huge commitment to work extra and try to get ahead. Do that when you are 20 instead of when you are 50 and you can save yourself 30 years of unhappy work life balance. If you change these beliefs early in life, the payout is far higher than waiting until work has worn you down and you only look to balance your life out of necessity before burning out.
The other aspect of timing for work life balance is simply in how you can balance it in the first place. Develop yourself a routine so that you are dependable with your work and that people learn to respect your time and your decisions about balancing your life. Flexibility to nice but not at the cost of your free time and life over any long period of time. Short term flexibility and adjustments of course will be needed in many careers but you don’t need to, nor should you allow these behaviors become habits. If you do, they become very hard to break and it changes expectations from those you work with. If you have worked 60 hours a week for 5 years and then suddenly want to scale back to 40 hours a week, all I can say is good luck. You either won’t be able to, will be so stressed you’ll not enjoy your free time or it will be seen very negatively from your employer. On the other hand, if you have always worked 40 hours a week and this is consistent, you have no problem scaling up for a short time and returned back to a normal workload. Don’t let anyone take advantage of this and always discuss it with an employer before you let it happen for more than a couple of weeks so they know it is temporary.
The Sacrifice
So, some of you probably think that working only 40 hours a week will be a sacrifice to your career. Well, yes it is. Maybe. If you look at your career over a longer term however, like I do, then you will not think it is a sacrifice to your career, but to your life. Why would you really want to work significantly more? What will it gain you? Possessions, security, time? Aren’t each of those things only sought after to give you more freedom and enjoyment in life anyway? Why would you choose to defer those things if you can have more of it now?
Let me reframe the idea of sacrifice then from one of sacrificing your career progression to one of sacrificing your life. Don’t be convinced that putting off life, no matter how temporary it is, is going to pay back more in the end, it won’t. Life is short, it can end abruptly with no warnings and you will never find a single person on their death bed wishing they had worked more in their lives instead of living it. So, make the sacrifice one of work to ensure you lead the type of life you want, have the free time you need and change your habits to make living the focus.
This sacrifice is something that can also reinforce many great character traits. If people know that you will NOT sacrifice your life and cannot be taken advantage of for work, good people will respect this and value it. They won’t try to take advantage of you and you will be appreciated far more when you do put in extra effort from time to time. Anyone who doesn’t respect this type of moral decision will likely never respect you and I’d say to walk away if you are giving ultimatums or your work is made more miserable because of it. This is a smart sacrifice to make to get yourself in a job where people value your time and respect your decisions. I know if I didn’t have that in my job, I would walk a way in a second!
The Solution
Finally, I want to cover more of a solution to this dilemma of work life balance. It’s definitely not an easy solution to come to. If you haven’t started your career yet, I guess this might be much easier to apply without any side effects but anyone in a role with a habit of overworking that they want to break, it’s not going to be easy to change. The best way though by far is to continue to get your work done, but do it in less time by becoming more efficient and more productive while you are working.
If your hours are tracked by a superior, sit down with them and talk to them about your plans to reduce your overtime or extra work. They need to know you are going to change it so that you do not surprise them and disappoint them unexpectedly. Discuss the areas of your work that are most important and which areas if something had to go, should. Ask about ways to be more efficient and be honest with yourself and your boss about time that is wasted on the job that you have room to eliminate to become more productive. You can make a strong case if you admit that some of your time is wasted on person email or internet browsing when really you should be working and that you are going to reduce your hours worked, but also eliminate those things that could be done outside of work. This honesty and self-assessment will impress them and give you a big bargaining chip.
Most people if they added up all the time they spent each week on wasted activities could easily have the free time that they really want and they fall into the trap of making themselves look busier than they really are. Let them know that you are going to try it for a week or two and see how it changes things. Make a strong effort to kill those distractions and wasted time so you can prove you can get just as much work done. Ask to meet and review progress in a week and continue to highlight that it is working and making you happier and more productive.
If you are giving no support to try this at your work place I’d would suggest to do it anyway. Log the hours you work and the hours you waste (for yourself) so you can see what you could still get done with reduced hours. Then, do it anyway and take on the consequences. If you are serious about work life balance, then you need to make a stand and do your best to make it work at your present job. If that won’t happen, then take the plunge and switch jobs, it might be the only way to reset and start over with a fixed work schedule and attitude.
To me, the topic of work life balance is a critical one and the foundation that supports it in your life is productivity. The more productive you can be, the easier it is to be successful in your career while keeping a happy work life balance.
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Mike King
December 29th, 2008 at 5:58 AM
Hi Mike
I couldn’t agree more.
I’ve ensured that my employer knows where I stand with respect to work hours and flexibility
As you say, the arrangement needs to be made early on in your time with the company because established habits and expectations are very difficult to alter.
Colleagues can, however, be very quick to complain about your working less hours and still getting paid the same. It doesn’t matter how productive you are or if you in fact do more work at the end of the day. Strange. Unfortunately I think that there is a fair amount of jealously, yet lack of inner strength for them to be able to negotiate similar work options.
I love that you address this topic. I always wish I could help more people to see that there is choice in the matter.
Juliet
December 29th, 2008 at 7:11 AM
A balance between rest, productivity and creativity are a must for me. When I go too far with either one I get worn out. When I feel this way I try to take my thoughts and actions in a new direction and let the other side of me recharge.
I put productivity and creativity separate because coming up with the idea isn’t very productive, it’s when we act and actually create something then it becomes productivity.
I believe that more people should look at work and life the same way. The more people that are aware of the pain that they cause themselves when they work too hard or are too lazy to work, the happier they will become at work and at home.
December 29th, 2008 at 9:56 AM
Oh Boy!
Are you sure you don’t live next door to us? 😉
Our situation is different only because we are the boss.
My schedule can be made flexible but the benefit of working at home is not always easy to walk away from.
Projects may have a time limit on them but perfecting them takes time.The job is never boring but at times tedious.
I find it necessary to get out of the house and just go.Leave the work at home and go to a happy place.
It rejuvenates me.
The influence that my parents had on me was work hard and have determination.
My mom told me before going to college,not to allow any distractions that would cause me not to finish my education.So instead of dating…I traveled.Which to me is a higher form of education.
I am still trying to find my balance with work.I will!
We will!
Great article Mike.
Have a Happy New Year
December 29th, 2008 at 10:04 AM
Juliet, you are right there is even more to balance when it comes to other’s complaints or feelings. I personally don’t have much concern of other people’s complaints about them working more than me (if that occurs) as I know the amount of work I get done is as much or more. I’ve had those discussions with my own boss as well so know that he sees my balance as a good one, regardless of what other’s might think or say. I look at those complaints as an opportunity to offer to help them find the same balance while still achieving high levels of output. That doesn’t always work, but it certainly stops them from complaining.
Karl, yes creativity fits in there as well. I find it fits in with work and the life side as to me at least, there is as much a need to be creative in your life as there is in your job. Thanks for the additional thoughts!
December 29th, 2008 at 10:23 AM
Thanks Bunny as well for your comments. That time away from things is oh so important isn’t it. I read your latest post now as well about how this can catch up to even the best of us knowing full well how to recognize it and catch it. The problem is actually doing something about it though to keep that balance in check before burnout occurs.
December 29th, 2008 at 12:16 PM
Something I like to remind people of, is that no one, upon their last breath, has ever said “I wish I had spent more time at the office…”
In my experience, what I found most draining was the perceived lack of freedom, and the lack of creativity. These factors made my working hours seem endless.
When I am able to work on my own projects, I can go on all day long, often completely out of balance. But the satisfaction that arises, nourishes the soul, more than the need to take a break, because I can potentially do it at any time. A little bit like the obsession of the artist…
I agree with you, Mike, that the ability to negotiate work hours is essential. If possible, one should only look for jobs that allow that.
Quality of life, means also creating space for the activities and people we love. Having time to be and not do.
December 29th, 2008 at 1:02 PM
well, since I’m my own boss, I manage my own work-schedule.
I left common-office-life two years ago, and started my own entrepreneur-driven consultant, though job for sure. But it worth the effort.
I can spend more time with my family, and friends. And longer holidays for me 😀
But the compensasion sometime can be quite expensive, which means, there are times where I barely sleep or get back home.
December 29th, 2008 at 3:00 PM
I don’t really agree with this sentiment. I think that to get further and to become the best in a chosen field, it becomes necessary to push yourself beyond comfortable limits. It’s been said you can outwork talent. It’s true. Maybe the people agreeing with your statement are all much more talented than others in their field, but I’m not. I must work to get what I want, and I must sacrifice my home life to do it. I don’t hate myself for this, because I’ve chosen a field that I love to work in. I find when I do have time with friends and family, I value it more, and I take better care of myself. I’m not saying being more efficient and productive wouldn’t help all of us to work less. Maybe it would. Or maybe it would just help us get even more done in the time allotted. I don’t believe it’s a waste to get as far ahead as I can when I can, though. I believe it pays off. I’ve seen it pay off for others. I know it takes discipline, but I have no children, an understanding husband, and a ton of drive right now. And what’s the saying? If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. I love what I do. But I work damn hard to make sure I can get and stay on top.
The way one responds to your article may also depend on the reader’s stage in his/her life and career.
December 29th, 2008 at 4:35 PM
Palma, thanks for your additional thoughts. I definitely agree that work that you enjoy is much easier to put more hours into. I have done that over and over, especially with creative work like 3D graphics.
Nichive, good for you to be doing what you want and enjoying it. If I didn’t love my job, I’d get out myself and go after things that I can enjoy more myself. So should anyone for that matter. Thanks for stopping by and commeting.
Summer, you have some excellent points here and I definitely understand your reasoning behind them, I’ve been there and done that. But I also did it in a way that my work was separate from the other work I put in to get ahead which I think is a far safer balance with an employer than by just putting in more time. It’s different if you work for yourself and put extra time in to get ahead but the main point is to consider WHY you are putting in more time. Is it to get ahead really? For most people this is not the case, they simply keep going farther and farther wanting more and never actually getting ahead of anything!
If you do get ahead, how are you going to then slow down? What is the purpose of working so much harder to get ahead? Is it really tot hen balance things out or is it simply for even more down the road? That is the real question to stop and ask and examine will you have an option to balance things out even if you have a short term in-balance.
You point of talent now is interesting. You can develop skills and talent but do it outside of your work environment so that you do not show a huge committment to an employer that is then inescapable. Develop yourself on your own time, and still keep the work committment in balance with the rest of your life. That way, you gain the skills and further your talents without being expected to be a workaholic. My company know I work a lot, but much of that work is on my own things, away from the office and I don’t let them interrupt that. It’s OK with them, preferred by me and I have all the power to choose then how much extra time to put in and it is never looked down upon. This is far easier to balance than a boss’s expectation if you work too hard.
December 30th, 2008 at 12:03 AM
Although I don’t completely agree with your thought especially about work hours and talk to the boss, I take the inside.
Your article has gave me some reflections. I realized that all this time I gave the most of my time on work and a little to my family. I think I did a mistake here.
Thanks for the remind, Mike.
December 30th, 2008 at 12:16 AM
Arswino, there are a lot of people nowadays who are simply afraid to talk to their bosses about anything. I find it very odd and extremely career limiting. If you open some lines of communication about what are the important things to you, your work and life, you can have a much better relationship not only with your boss, but with that balance this whole article is about. Obviously, there needs to be some level of trust to have an open candid discussion like that with your boss, but building that to a point where that is possible is a huge asset for anyone’s job and career. I think I have some whole new articles I’ll need to write on that subject, as I’ve had some other private comments that people fear or don’t agree with that step… Thanks for being public with it Arsino, it’s great to know read other people’s opinions on this as well.
December 30th, 2008 at 2:21 AM
Mike,
Your idea comes to the right time of my life. I’m quitting my work as an employee (45 minutes until 5pm of the last day here!). As I told you, I will have two bosses, me and my father. As an entrepreneur, the first thought was that work-life balance should be fine. However, I think it can be tricky. Instead of having work time and personal time, they can get mixed up and they will start canibalising each other.
I will see what will I do about it but I’m very optimistic about the new balance 🙂
December 30th, 2008 at 4:00 AM
Hi Mike,
Balance…not always easy to achieve! You bring up excellent points on the importance, though, of why having a balance is so important. Where I’m at currently in my life, I take balance very seriously. My time away from work is very important to me. That doesn’t mean there are some late nights, or a call from a co-worker early in the morning. When these come up, I do feel an obligation to help out. Yet, I also know that these are exceptions, and not rules. So, it’s okay that it happens occasionally. And I also feel that point is well-received by those I work with. Yet, I also see the people who work crazy long hours – probably for more money. What does it really buy them? How much is the sacrifice from personal life worth? No matter where you’re at in your life? That’s a great point you make, Mike. Sometimes we think that younger and unattached means someone who can work longer hours. Yet, this really is the time to make balance into a lifelong habit.
Excellent, excellent article! I leave thinking about how true I am to this in my life…
December 30th, 2008 at 5:23 AM
The balance is really not easy to achieve. I agree. But that is the direction in which we must moving,the route of living in a harmony. Otherwise first we feel dissatisfaction,then frustration.
December 30th, 2008 at 8:16 AM
Hi Mike.
Great article and interesting comments.
In the work I do with groups of business people (usually at senior management level) I often hear ‘work/life’ balance as one of the biggest challenges at all levels. I also hear some of those involved in recruitment complaining about how difficult the new generation (early 20’s) are .. usually much more demanding and much less interested in career at the cost of everything else.
Personally I take this is as a hugely positive sign! We’re starting to wake up to the fact that maybe the problem is not one of getting balance between work and life .. but one of the separation of the two in the first place. As I see it the work-life split is relatively recent .. many businesses continue to operate with structures and cultures that are not huge steps away from those of the industrialisation era (which were not big steps away from serfdom and slavery). The words ‘boss’ and ‘superior’ say much about why it might be hard to have a conversation with them about working hours!
The answer I found for myself is to see my life as a whole .. work is part of it, not separate from it, and for some of that work people are willing to pay me. I’m both self-employed and partner in an organisation that’s building business for the future based on very different ways of thinking and acting. No bosses. No working hours. Balance is very much about personal choice. I know that I’m both very, very lucky … and that I’ve made part of that luck by the choices I make.
Ian
December 30th, 2008 at 8:58 PM
Balance… what we constantly strive for, yet it’s so hard to achieve. I would think that working smarter rather than longer would help out more… easier said than done of course. Well life is short; finding out how to maintain that balance is definitely worth it. This is a great blog you have, I wish I visited earlier.
December 31st, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Viriya, I seem to have impecable timing with you Viriya! And yes, it pleases me to know that even if it is by accident! Keeping something in balance that you really want to do is really about being happy with the balance you put yourself in so go for it, enjoy it and don’t forget the things in your life that make you happy outside of the work required!
Lance, yes I find it odd that so many people argue that they can balance their lives later and work less once they get ahead. But never actually do. I’ve learned this young and I’m thankful, as many people I know ask me how I keep a smart balance and I know that it’s because its a habit now and I don’t shift from it for long periods of time. It’s automatic if you develop it well.
Thanks Dicki for commenting as well and welcome! It’s too bad so many people need to get to that point of frustration before realizing what they have let happen.
Ian, thanks for your insight. While I do like the idea of separating my work form myself, I do still hope that my work is something that ‘I’ truly love so don’t care if it is separated or not. I think the value though is in separating it for the sake of other friends and family. I know that if I keep my work at work, I can have much more meaningful discussions and free time with friends and family so that is certainly valuable. Too many people bring their work baggage home and force everyone to experience all they have to complain about. Joining those areas I hope is positive and useful in your “whole” life as you mention. If that is the case, I think you have balanced things very well!
G. Thanks for the comments and compliment. Finding that balance is a great way to be more pleased with your work and to put the meaningful things back in your life with some priority as well.
December 31st, 2008 at 1:15 PM
Hi Mike,
Great article. This balance is something that should be taught in school, isn’t it? Instead, we are conditioned that ‘High Grades = High Paying Job = Happiness’.
I suspect the majority of us replying to this article have ‘done our time’ and now realize that success is not defined just by our jobs. I wonder, though, if we would be where we are if we hadn’t learned that lesson first hand.
Today, I think it is difficult to convince many young professionals on the street to work less hours. Even if they are as effective as their peers while putting in less hours, unfortunately, there are a lot of managers out there who reward ‘hard’ workers just as much, if not more than the ‘effective workers’. We need more managers like you, Mike! Many other managers are too focused on the short term wins (at all costs) vs the long term sustainability and effectiveness of their group.
With the economy slowing, I wonder if this problem will only get worse as competition for remaining jobs heats up. I hope managers see that the effective workers with good home/work balance are the best ones to have around.
Arden.
January 4th, 2009 at 2:02 AM
I like the ideas of Tao Theory about the balance.It is not a kind of literal equality,not something we can see but feel and perceive by inner insight.Besides if you are balanced, you feel great satisfaction about the life/I mean its 8 aspects- not only work and home/.I like to judge on the inside not from aside.
January 6th, 2009 at 11:00 AM
Variety is the spice of life.
All work and no play makes for an unhappy and unhealthy life. Plus, if I worked all of the time and didn’t have much of an outside life, I think I would begin to define my life through my work and I think that is a slippery slope. For instance, if I defined my life through my work, and I were to lose that job, I would be absolutely devistated.
Great article Mike!
January 26th, 2009 at 1:42 AM
At the end of the day it is still the individual person’s decision about what he wants to do with his life. He may prioritize working long and hard while he is young and strong so he can retire earlier and have a better life ahead.
April 8th, 2009 at 9:33 PM
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February 21st, 2010 at 6:13 AM
Although I don’t completely agree with your thought especially about work hours and talk to the boss, I take the inside.
Your article has gave me some reflections. I realized that all this time I gave the most of my time on work and a little to my family. I think I did a mistake here.
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