Want More Influence? Give to Others First
Learning December 18th, 2008I have been spending a lot of time lately thinking about giving. Time, money, life… There are many ways to give to others and I’ve seen a lot of parallels to that in the blogging world with my site as well. I have really stepped up the last month or two by looking to put a lot more effort into promoting other bloggers, my subscribers, people who comment on my site and basically everyone I interact with in this digital world. It’s not that I didn’t do that before, but never as generously or as often. I put more of my efforts into content and reading others material without always having a lot to add or say.
Shift Your Actions
However, recently I’ve started putting just a few minutes of all my usual reading time, writing and thinking into helping promote others or by commenting on their sites. I’ve looked at offering more help on this site (please just ask if you need any for something…) and I’ve been much more consistent at leaving articles or reviews when I read some great content instead of just rolling on to the next thing in my list. I can say that this shift in my actions has had a big ripple effect, something I never expected and it’s wonderful to experience it first hand.
Show Appreciation
I’m working to make more of my actions show appreciation for online content, authors, subscribers and others in my digital sphere. Just one extra minute after reading an article to add a review or comment and it’s increased my interaction with others by many times. Instead of forgetting what I read or who I read it from, I have a personal interest in the author once giving them feedback and this makes it much easier to remember the content in the first place as well. I also find that I value it more if I put just a minute into reading an about page or exploring a few extra articles while stopping by someone’s site.
Everyone knows how they feel when they get appreciated so make that shift and show just a little more appreciation to others around you as well. Take the first step and put it out there. Here’s why…
Social Media Reciprocation
Well, I’ll call it reciprocation and it applies in more areas in life than just the social media aspect but as a blogger and considering the point of this article, I think the social media reciprocation has the biggest impact. Sites like StumbleUpon drive a huge amount of traffic to this site and I’ve connected with a lot of like minded people which is why the interest continues to build. It’s easy to find people with similar interests and there are a lot of people with these same thoughts to show appreciation and help each other out. If you are willing to go do that first yourself, you will only soon find out that people will return the favor without you even asking.
My traffic and readership have continued to grow and recently increased quite drastically (over 30% per month) due to this small shift in my actions. It’s payed off, the social media arena has helped to pay that back and I’m happy to that much more communication with other great like minded people. Here is an excellent guide to getting more from stumbleupon written at Inside Writer.
Influence
So I started this thinking about influence and I know that when you look to do what others value first, you will have more influence on them. Every time you do something for someone else, whether it seems noticed or not, I think you gain a small piece of influence. Whether that influence is important at that time or some time well into the future, I don’t think it matters, either way, the influence that is built remains there and was all created by giving first.
So I hope I can have at least some influence here as well and encourage you to please, take one extra minute after reading great articles to add some comment or review the page in your favorite social media. You’re welcome to do this here but I’d prefer you do it with other articles as I hate to seem like I’m asking for that! Here are some great articles from my top commenters lately if you need a starting point. I’d love to hear comments how you’ve experienced this as well or ideas that you do to give first?
- Don’t Worry, Be Happy
- Using Long-term Thinking To Reduce Regret
- How Should We Choose Our Career?
- How to stay inspired in tough times
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December 18th, 2008 at 6:35 AM
Hey Mike…
I’m pleased to hear of the ‘ripple effect’ that has happened after you’ve spent more time giving to others… I’ve definitely found this has happened in my own life also, both on and offline….
Keep it up, my friend!
-Ross
December 18th, 2008 at 6:41 AM
Mike,
I intended to leave a comment here, even before reaching the last lines of your post. When content is valuable, it inspires others to share their thoughts about it. It didn’t seem at all like you were asking! I dugg this post.
The only way to truly receive, is to give first. Without expecting anything in return. Then the vortex opens, and as you say, the ripple effect starts.
It’s like starting an energy cycle, where the output just goes, and the input can come from a completely different source. At that point, it doesn’t matter who gives and who receives, as all are drawing benefit from it.
Some things can never be taken, but only given. Like love. And the more you give, the more you shall receive. It’s never the other way around…
The way you gave, by posting your top commenters articles, for people to read and comment on, will ripple back to you tenfold.
December 18th, 2008 at 7:05 AM
Thanks so much for the additional comments Ross and Palma. You are so right about love how it can only be given first, and never taken. Doesn’t that make it the one true gift?
I hope more people can find that to give this Christmas season now upon us.
December 18th, 2008 at 2:17 PM
Great article,Mike.
I really like what you say under Influence.
The greatest reward is giving freely.Without expectations of any returns.
I feel it is important to help others when I can.
Normally out of donations,material items or time.
My comments are made when the author has inspired me and has me coming back for more articles.
When I find a treasure, [great blog] I want to share it with others.That is the way I am.
Cheers
December 18th, 2008 at 5:53 PM
[…] […]
December 18th, 2008 at 7:07 PM
Mike,
Thank you so much for all you’ve done including the link in this post. The small appreciation is never too small. The ripple effect of the action is back to you and back to the people you helped.
The appreciation I received is not only pleasure but motivation. Every small appreciation counts. That’s why I read your blog more than the Huffingtonpost or the famous Zen Habits. Not that they are not good (they obviously are!) but I’m more interested in the author rather than the content per se. Just like what you wrote:
“I have a personal interest in the author once giving them feedback and this makes it much easier to remember the content in the first place as well.”
December 18th, 2008 at 9:22 PM
Hey Mike,
Great going…!! I love the idea of spreading and sharing the knowledge around with others. I am surely inspired by you to start my blog. I also appreciate your persistence, even when it comes to my blog. I know that with your help I will definitely be able to expand my blog and share the knowledge with other fellow blogger. As I said once, in my blog keep sharing, connecting and expanding…
Cheers,
Kamal
December 19th, 2008 at 12:01 AM
Hi Mike
I think that it is really great that you have written about this – gonna stumble.
I have noticed your increased involvement in my blog and I really appreciate it.
It builds great connection.
Juliet
December 19th, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Thanks Bunny, I’ve quickly learned and seen first hand how you also practice this by giving to others. You have always had wonderful comments and you have great content on your blog as well to help inspire others and give to them first whenever possible.
Viriya, thanks for the comments and I’m glad you are enjoying content at my blog. That makes it all worthwhile to hear personal compliments and stories like that. You certainly deserve a price for the first one to compare me to Leo at ZenHabits. I can only hope my content reaches many of those people as well. You are doing a great thing with your plans as well for your blog Viriya, I hope we can continue to work together on that and I am happy to help you pinpoint some of those goals and plans. It’s wonderful to help and I too, appreciate all the comments from you!
And Kamal. Nice to see you start commenting. I can say first hand that your energy in life seems limitless and if you can channel that into your blog, you will certainly development more of the community that you want. I’m glad you’ve got your blog started out now and don’t hesitate to ask about any blogging questions. Blogging is a awesome community and always willing to help so don’t hesitate.
Juliet, no problem and I can say you’ve been the one to trigger it as I’m been exploring your site more because of all your comments. I’ve put less into my RSS feeds for a while and more into follwoing commenters and keeping more links active with regular readers. This has resulted in better conversations and a number of new blogs to explore I would have missed otherwise, so thanks for helping to spark that shift!
December 19th, 2008 at 6:21 AM
Your article has increased my insight and I absolutely agree with you as well that it is not ‘take and gift’ era anymore, but it is ‘gift and take’ era now. We gift first and then take latter.
Great post, Mike.
December 19th, 2008 at 12:44 PM
This most difficult to maintain communication with the more senior bloggers sometimes when we give their comments and do not care. even when we comment form question .. they still do not menjawab.sekarang I prefer to ask learner through the forum and comment that they have to give permission for it.
because I am newbie and need more knowledge.
December 19th, 2008 at 3:22 PM
Hi Mike.
Now here’s an interesting thing! I’ve seen your name and face around the comments of a couple of other sites I really enjoy (Rahul, Lance, Ross to name a few). I’ve been meaning to check out your blog, as I usually do when I enjoy reading someone’s comments but never got round to it.
Then this evening I’m spending a couple of moments surfing at random (through Entrecard) and was drawn to stay at this site without any idea it was yours. I decide to leave a comment to say thanks for this great article. I noticed your picture and assumed this is just another blog you’ve left a comment on – but, no, you’re the author!
Just wanted to say ‘thanks for the post’ and that this concept of focusing on helping others, and then it flows back to you in unexpected ways is just a beautiful philosophy of life! Not only in the blogging world.
December 19th, 2008 at 5:18 PM
Thanks Arswino for the additional comments. It’s a joy to share that insight with you.
Money-holic, it’s true that some of the big bloggers don’t have as much time to comment back or respond to questions but that goes with size of a blog I guess. I hope to keep up with commenting on my site here but it’s not always possible to have a timely conversion especially when doing many other things in life. However, that is one great thing about blogger, is you get connected through a community of like minded thinkers so often the blogger has the same opinions and thoughts as their readers, so the discussion among many readers is just as valid as that from the original blogger. That is something I’ve loved to experience in blogging as I know many of my readers would have similar thoughts and can respond as well or better than I can to discussion through these comment systems. Anyway, keep asking and learning, the knowledge is out there to be shared and found.
Ian, that’s great to hear how you “found” my blog without meaning to. That whole community of blogging is always a little smaller than people think. Thanks for the your comments and I’ll definitely check out your site a little more closely as well. Entrecard has been good to find some new sites and connections but as you said yourself, it’s not always a priority to stop and read and comment on things. Thanks though for taking the time to comment here and I look forward to reading more from you!
December 19th, 2008 at 6:52 PM
When I was younger I was selfish, but, as I got older I realized the importance of helping others. I feel better when I’m able to brighten someone’s day by offering words of encouragement or helping financially. Good article!
December 20th, 2008 at 6:37 AM
Hi Mike,
This is just an awesome article! It is, because you hit upon something that is so important – giving. And it’s so easy here – giving – by simply leaving a comment, or stumbling something great – takes just a small amount of time, and yet, can really leave such an impact. And, I find, as the receiver of comments (on my blog) – I value them so much – they just add so much to what I’ve said. On the other hand, leaving comments for others – in addition to being wonderful for the blog owner – I find it helps me to better keep the thought of the post fresh in my mind.
Mike, I really appreciate all you’ve done for me – in helping to spread the word of my writing. Your support means the world to me!
December 20th, 2008 at 10:15 AM
Thanks Omar and Lance for the comments. Lance, I know exactly what you mean as I have the exact same thoughts towards you and your support. Couldn’t have said it better.
Thanks you in return for that and I continue to be amazed at the extend you go to on many of the connected blogs in this network. I seem to find your thoughtful additions in nearly all the blogs I read. You have a great blog and have done a lot to create a great community. Thanks for that!
December 20th, 2008 at 12:24 PM
Hi Mike!
Glad to have found your blog! Great article and it goes in line with something I read too from Steve Pavlina recently on how focusing on creating and delivering value is really what makes life wonderful…never the money aspect as many in our society are focused on.
It is true when a post or article is of value people will not only comment but share it and promote it with others and then the ripple effect really goes into full effect. I am glad you have experiences this, I have too in my life and it is so wonderful to have meaningful interactions with others!
What a great door you have opened up here for many!
December 21st, 2008 at 4:57 AM
Mike,
As I stated before in my earliest comment that I’ve just started reading about Self-Improvement seriously. StumbleUpone was the biggest reason behind the beginning of this passion towards exploring the Self-Improvement aspect.
When I found you on StumbleUpone, actually it was you who kept me staying in touch with you. There are a lot of wonderful blogs like yours around us, but you have been the INFLUENCE to let me persist getting back and forth to your website, and this comment is an obvious evedince on this. I don’t mean that the others have no influence on me, actually I have been enjoying your readers’ articles on their websites, too. All what I need to initiate another CONNECTION and keep in touch with them is just to start my first comment on thier articles and I’m sure it will be appreciated by them!
So honestly, you are a major influence to me, you’ve just left an impact in the things I do and even I sometimes try to make my comments more valuable by reading more about the topic you are writing about.
Whenever my comments are APPRECIATED the commitment is affirmed more and more to stay in touch and that by its turn inspires us to help each other.
Regards
Husain
December 21st, 2008 at 12:20 PM
So true Mike. It’s easy to get caught up with what we want for our own blog (subscribers, comments, traffic, etc) and forget that others are seeking the same things. I find this happens to me, and then along comes a little reminder. For example, the comments on one of my blog posts may be less than I was expecting. And while this may be a little disappointing, I then ask myself “have I been posting comments on other blogs?” If I haven’t, I am reminded of the importance of giving.
“Become the kindest person you know” – Robin Sharma
December 21st, 2008 at 2:46 PM
Evita, thanks for your comments. You have some wonderful articles on your blog as well. I clearly have some more reading to do!
Husain. Well, I really appreciate you letting me know how I’ve helped to make an impact on you. I believe that area comes from within and so I am only a catalyst to help you search for what you want to find anyway. I’m happy to help Husain, and you’re honesty with responses and desire to communicate more is what enabled and encouraged me to do that. You are as much a part of it as I.
One thing I remember when starting out blogging was how inspiring comments from others who were already known much better in a bigger community impacted me. I now do the same by especially noticing new visitors and people starting out with new blogs or new comments on my site. Many of the popular bloggers and commenters don’t need more motivation or encouragement, there is tons for them already, so I try to spread that out to the thin branches of life… I’m glad you noticed Husain and thanks for telling me!
Peter, yes isn’t that true. Same thing with statistics and subscriber counts, etc. I find if I can go a week (it’s VERY hard) and NOT check stats, when I do go check them, I appreciate them far more as the continual increases are more noticable and easy to enjoy. I wish there was a way that wordpress and the whole blog community could track how many comments a blogger has put comments out at other’s sites. That to me is a more important measure of blog success! Thanks for stopping by, I love your blog!
December 23rd, 2008 at 9:58 AM
Hello, I ‘m brand new here, still in a learning curve but i use Ehow as well and I totally agree by reading rating, commenting… on others articles, you not only “expand you horizons” but it creates a “community” and we succeed when we help others. I hope i like it here as much as Ehow
December 23rd, 2008 at 5:08 PM
What is Ehow louise? I’ve never heard of it yet. Oh and thanks for taking a minute to add your comment. Welcome!
December 26th, 2008 at 7:31 PM
Because I love quoting:
“Just one extra minute after reading an article to add a review or comment and it’s increased my interaction with others by many times. Instead of forgetting what I read or who I read it from, I have a personal interest in the author once giving them feedback and this makes it much easier to remember the content in the first place as well.”
What a great example of how serving others helps us grow as well. Thank you for the illustration.
It’s a shame how often we (and I’m more guilty than anyone) forget the personal benefits of providing value for others. It’s truly the ultimate win-win situation. The more value we provide for others, the more we are blessed in turn, which leads to us giving even more. And so the cycle repeats itself.
Great insight, Mike.
– Marshall Jones, Jr.
December 26th, 2008 at 10:59 PM
Thanks Marshall, I really appreciate your thoughts. It’s interesting how sometimes as a blogger you don’t even realize your own insight until someone else points it out. If I didn’t say that myself, I would have thought, “I wish I had said that!”…
Perhaps we start to slip from recognizing our own knowledge. Anyway, you’ve done a fine job of keeping that real for me as well, I’m happy to have made some real example for you. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
January 1st, 2009 at 11:26 PM
Great post. Definitely fundamental truths throughout!
January 30th, 2009 at 6:18 PM
It does work one week I sent an e-mail tell a radio show host what a wonderful job they were doing and the next week I won a computer during the weekly radio show so yes tell someone what a great job “YOU” are doing Mike King.
thanks
4laso4
May 26th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
[…] Want More Influence? Give to Others First (LearnThis.ca) […]
May 28th, 2009 at 8:43 AM
Hello, What enticed you to post this article. It was extremely interesting, especially since I was searching for info on this subject last Thursday.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:53 PM
@Dexter – I guess what enticed me is always the same, I see some action or person doing something that triggers the thought for me and I feel the urge to write about it. This is one of those areas for me that I truly feel the old saying of “givers gain” so give to others if you want to have impact, influence and the same reciprocity in return!
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:56 PM
Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. And it will leave you unfulfilled.