Cell Phone Etiquette – It’s Your Voice
Relationships April 2nd, 2009
Cell phones and all other communication devices are becoming so natural in everyone’s lifestyles that they are really an extension of an individual. While the device may be separate from you, your usage of it is still a direct demonstration of you as a person so it should be considered part of your voice. How you use it and the etiquette you have with it is a direct indicator of your own manners.
These factors seem obvious to me and they are actually the reasons why I don’t have a cell phone. I find most cell phone users to be completely unaware of how their usage of their phone portrays their own etiquette. Sometimes it seems that phone users think they are in their own little world when they use their phone. Surprise surprise, others can still hear you and your phone when you use it. Because of this, here are some tips to make better use of your phone.
Your Cell Phone Ring
It’s one thing to have a unique ring, but another to have an annoying one. You really should pick a ring that is unique so you can easily identify your own phone’s ring, but you should never pick one that is annoying. Your ring is not only heard by you, but everyone around you, strangers, your friends, your colleagues and even potential employers. You should keep it professional and tolerable.
The other thing with you phone’s ringer you should get in the habit of using is the silent mode or vibrate mode. Spare those around you and put the phone on silent mode so you don’t interrupt them. After all, no one else cares when your phone rings so why would force them to hear it? There is nothing more annoying than people who have a cell phone that rings when they leave it on their desk and walk away from it. If you don’t keep your phone on you all day, you should definitely keep it on silent. And if you do keep it on you, then there is no reason not to use vibrate mode.
Your Cell Phone Volume
The volume you use on your cell phone isn’t much different than the volume of your own voice in a conversation. Do you think it’s polite to be yelling in a conversation? Of course not, nor is it polite to have a cell phone so loud others can hear your conversation. The same goes for the ringer. Keep the volume down!
Your Cell Phone Interruptions
This is what bothers me the most from cell phone users. Taking a call no matter where or what you are doing with no regard to what or who you are interrupting. When someone is in a conversation, is it polite to instantly interrupt them? Well no, so you shouldn’t let anyone do this in a conversation with your cell phone either. Put attention and priority to who you are physically with and turn your cell phone off or at least don’t answer it when you are in a conversation. Let it go to voice mail. You show great respect to an individual if you let them be your prime focus when in a conversation instead of letting your phone interrupt you. When you do put attention to your phone interruption, it sends the message to the party you were first talking to in person that your phone call (even before you know who it was) was more important to you and that you’d rather take the call. Not really a polite thing to do.
Your Cell Phone Distractions
Not only do the call interruptions impact the people you interrupt, but calls also become major distractions to your own productivity and activities. If you are busy working on something or focusing on a task, phone calls and ringing cell phones just distract you from that. Most calls are truly not that important and there is always voice mail to answer the call for you so you can then check all your messages together at a later time. This allows you to stay focused on your tasks at the right time and then batch process your messages on your cell phone when you are ready to. Eliminating these distractions lets you accomplish more, be more productive and to be more professional in your relationships and manners with your cell phone.
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Mike King
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:20 AM
Timely advice Mike. We can’t control others but we can all do our part to set a good example. Etiquette is a concept that needs a revival.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:12 PM
Timely advice Mike. We can’t control others but we can all do our part to set a good example. Etiquette is a concept that needs a revival.
Ooops, should have said great post! Waiting for your next one!
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:34 PM
Thanks Jonathan. Yes, if we pay attention to the impact we each have to others, it goes a long way. Certainly some attention to etiquette instead of just excusing poor manners due to the crowd syndrome is valuable.
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:42 PM
Hi Mike, thanks for the tips. It reminds me again about the phone etiquette especially on my volume. 🙂
However about the interruption and the distraction, I have a little different thought. Sometimes I picked up the phone when I was being in conversation, because the caller is very important person. I think it is not a problem as long as we ask a permission from our interlocutor to take a phone call.
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 PM
Sure thing Arswino. While I understand the reasoning behind taking an important call, what message does that send the person you are with? Typically it sends the message that they are NOT as important as the person you’re taking the call from. I for one, would rather pay close attention to a person I’m physically with than someone on the phone. Actually, how would you know who is calling unless you interrupted the person you are with just to check who is calling? That alone sends a message that you care more about who might be calling than the person you are with.
I think the only exception to this is when you are expecting a call and inform the other party that you will check as you need to take the call. Otherwise, it’s really just an interruption.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:25 AM
I completely agree with your etiquette breakdown. How did we live and interact without cellphones 50 years ago?
“Just fine thank you very much”
I am not against cellphones because depending on your career and purpose for it…it can be very useful.
It just makes us question people’s manners and awareness of their surroundings when you see them talking loudly on their cellphones on a bus or in a restaurant.
There is a time and place for its usage. Its all about refrain and willpower sometimes.
Thank goodness for “silent mode”, just sadly not used often enough 🙂
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:12 PM
Mike, thanks for the much needed reminder. We in many ways have become a rude and inconsiderate society and it is quite sad. I love my cell phone but sometimes I want to throw it in the pond. What’s more I often want to throw the cell phones of others in the pond. 🙂
April 4th, 2009 at 12:09 AM
Here’s all you need to know about cell phone etiquette: leave the room! When you’re on the phone or get a call or text, and are in a room or office or theater or restaurant or whatever–get out! No one wants to hear your conversation. Get. Out. Please.
peace,
mike
livelife365
April 4th, 2009 at 6:44 AM
@Vincent – Thanks for the additional comments and yes, anyone can refrain from the cell phone interruptions, they choose not to. People love distractions for some reason.
@Stephen – Very true. They are wonderful devices and many uses but the way many people use them is simply terrible.
@Mike – That’s a useful tip but taking the call in the first place is the main distraction as well. Would you leave the room when in a conversation with someone? That is still a bad thing to do. So, this only works for some situations when you can slip out of a room unnoticed, otherwise its still disruptive and rude. It still sends the message that the caller is more important than what you are involved with in the room. While that may be true, it’s not a polite message to send, no matter what!
April 4th, 2009 at 1:42 PM
This material is fitting for our current period of time. Cell phones are no longer new, and thus have to handled like other technologies that have been assimilated into appropriate usage. The theme of “Your” here sends a strong message that the user of a cell phone is completely in control of it, and is inconsiderate if using the excuse of being a victim to the technology to be rude to a person in the same area as them. People that adapt quicker are more likely to succeed, while people that use their phone as an indirect communication tool are slowed down a bit.
April 4th, 2009 at 7:13 PM
Keen observations Armen. Exactly what I intended with using “Your”. Also that phones are often mentioned to be an extension of that person. If that is the case, it is even more true that you need to use it carefully and with some manners. Your point of using the victim excuse applies perfectly when people put blame on the technology instead of themselves and how they choose to use it.
Thanks for your insightful comments as always !
April 5th, 2009 at 11:40 AM
Mike, great post. I think you can add one more: good voicemail greetings and messages.
I used to have someone work for me that had a song play as their voicemail greeting. It was very obnoxious and annoying rap. She would’ve never been hired if that was on her voicemail as a greeting when she was hired.
Second, it’s not helpful when someone leaves an extremely long message. It’s a waste of time when you have to listen through the entire message for a single bit of information.
Polite informative greetings and messages that are to the point can go a long way.
Also, I’m surprised you don’t have a cell phone. In a way, it puts the burden on others to try and get a hold of you.
April 5th, 2009 at 1:06 PM
Thanks for your thoughts Mark and good point about voice messages and greetings. I definitely agree.
Now, regarding your point of a burden to get a hold of me. I’ll have to disagree. I’ve very easy to get a hold of, just not at any time, anywhere or with immediacy. If I plan something or some time to meet, I’m there. No question. I do what I say and don’t need to confirm on the phone 3 times or call with last minute changes. If you plan things and stick to commitments you make, you don’t need a phone to get a hold of people very often. What kind of examples do you think it would be a burden with that aren’t simply selfish examples? That is what I find of most immediate cell phone calls, actually. It’s a level of freedom and commitment I greatly enjoy and don’t think its a burden to anyone else, and it’s certainly not to me.
April 5th, 2009 at 1:58 PM
That is a good point; following through with commitments and punctuality reduce the need for a cell phone. That seems rare to me these days.
I’m in a wheelchair and when somebody cannot get a hold of me they get concerned that I might need help. In my case, I would place the burden on others if I did not have a cell phone. This is an isolated example, however.
I guess… I’m just surprised people don’t have cell phones purely for safety. As annoying as they may be, there are a benefit to society.
April 5th, 2009 at 3:13 PM
Great reminder about how we should act regarding cell phone use. If more people read this post (and listened to it), our world would be a much more peaceful and positive place. I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve been annoyed by someone else’s use of a cell phone — or had people been annoyed by my use. Thanks for a much needed reminder!
April 5th, 2009 at 3:53 PM
@Mark – I can definitely see where you are coming from if others easily worry about you when they cannot reach you right away. Still, that is there prerogative and not your burden really to fix. Having it is obviously easier though.
I guess for safety I’m just not concerned about that. I ride my bike most of the time to commute and sure sometimes it breaks down, but then I just walk or stop at a store if I wanted to use a phone. I never have though, its just a choice. Also with safety, (keep in mind I’m a guy who goes riding in the rocky mountains on a one wheel unicycle with only a mention of the trail I’m heading out on), it is of course a concern, but with no cell coverage, its more about having first aid and survival gear for an emergency overnight, not calling for help. Be prepared for a situation and you don’t need a cell for safety, you just need to be prepared.
@Positively Present – Thanks for your comment and honesty in your cell phone experience. I hope this reaches and convinces at least a few people to change their habits and improve their phone usage.
April 6th, 2009 at 1:16 PM
Mike, I couldn’t agree more. I keep my phone on silent most of the time, never answer it if I’m speaking to someone and rarely answer it in public (well, it’s usually on silent so I don’t know they’re calling). Some people get really annoyed with me ‘why don’t you answer your phone!’. For all the reasons you outline here!
April 6th, 2009 at 7:44 PM
Thanks Ian for the added validation that there is another person who believes in this kind behavior. It’s amazing how easy it is to feel out of place with this ‘rare’ cell phone behavior. I appreciate the feedback!
April 9th, 2009 at 12:36 PM
Here is a good story that is too relevant to this one. Our team recently moved to an open space office. The team is a bunch of consultants so the mobile phone is a tool of trade. Now imagine the guy with the most annoying ring tone leaves the room and forgets his phone on the desk…. ARGHHHHHH!!! 😉
April 9th, 2009 at 7:41 PM
I know exactly what you mean Alik. Just today someone at the office left their desk and their phone started ringing. It was some rap tune with the words, “Your phone is ringing, your phone is ringing”. This one was actually quite funny because several of us around the desk were making fun by adding our phone beat noises and tunes to it. However, it was still highly annoying! I know exactly what you mean. ARGHHHHH!
April 10th, 2009 at 4:18 PM
Here is a short TED talks clip on this very subject a friend just send me. Renny Gleeson: Busted! The sneaky moves of anti-social smartphone users
April 26th, 2009 at 6:23 AM
What’s up Mike? I’m guilty of having the volume bar high. I can hear the person better, but, it is rude to have others interrupted by the conversation. Good article.
April 26th, 2009 at 3:25 PM
Thanks Omar. It’s tough to cover a subject so many people are guilty of and not many are willing to say they are guilty of it. Thanks for saying so and hope you think how you are affecting those around you in the cell phone use now.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:07 AM
I know some people who have their celfones as the extension of themselves. They hardly put them downeven for one minute. I realize you are right that it eats up on your productivity and your quality of life. I don’t want to live to text!
April 29th, 2009 at 12:31 AM
Not so long ago I saw a man speaking very lowdly over his mobile phone in the cafe then he threw it away that the phone flew over our table.When he came up and told he was sorry we were far from being offended and even ready to help.The sense of measure is good in everything,his overwork has made his phone guilty in his being nervous.
April 29th, 2009 at 4:10 PM
@Start Blogging and Dicki – Thanks for sharing these thoughts and stories. I am amazed at how people can still see the problems that this lifestyle has on others when it becomes in excess (like your story Dicki) but refuse to belief that their own use is leading them down that very path. I just hope to convince a few more people to consider what matters and realize it is the people around them, not the people on the phone with them or calling them.
April 30th, 2009 at 4:11 PM
Hi Mike,
Great points on cell phone etiquette.
Today, while at an appt., there was a young lady who’s phone rang so loudly it startled everyone! LOL
She needs to read this post! 🙂
Many Blessings….
Roxanne and Hugo ~ Believe Achieve