Going Against the Grain Will Change The World
Success April 9th, 2010This article is a short story of the struggle that life can present and how it aligns with personal development.
A young man that had grown up with taking on new things developed a real love for adventure and uniqueness. He was always comfortable doing things that others dare not do. Some of these things were in regular activities like hobbies, sports and school. School was easy since the teachers told him everything he needed and quickly realized that if he actually paid attention the content was easy to digest and understand. This was especially true, as he was a audible learner so quickly picked up on the classroom teachings. Sure, he had some learning talent and inspiration to start well in school but this become a much larger cascade effect. In his case, school became easier and easier and it only continued to build his confidence and learning skills. Doing well in school and learning quickly was his first obvious experience with going against the grain. Others struggled to learn and had a hard time in school and that seemed to be the general theme for the masses. This independent style he had in learning added more to his confidence and he continued to develop a sense of self that didn’t fit into the mass mentality.
In going against the grain and knowing he could learn quickly, he also challenged himself to develop that skill in new uncommon sports, hobbies and skills. Each of these presented a challenge to overcome and he developed an internal motivation to tackle any challenge head on and with full force to quickly overcome it and move past it. Years went by mastering this skill and going against the grain of society’s seemingly normal outlook that life is bleak and tough. He would have no part of that however, every challenge was welcomed and he continually overcame adversity with hard work, dedication and that massive motivation that was built up inside him to grow and conquer whatever he faced. All this made him feel even more confident and satisfied by experiencing many successes in life through achievement. He chased more and more achievements and as years started to pass, realized that the achievements were leaving him less and less content and that success had to be more than this. He started to know that success was more than this but never realized what he was missing or what he was needing in order to have that. For a some time, the confidence he had built up inside surfaced as arrogance and egotism which quickly impacted his influence on others and success was not something he could grasp when it came to his influence with others or even with himself. Influence with himself is really one’s ability to change them self and grow.
Finally with the support of close friends, a deep spiritual journey and a number of significant events and training courses, he was fortunately enough to face the bitter truth which would reveal to him that his confidence had been shielding him from seeing what was really important in his life. In fact, he had so much to discover about himself that he literally felt like a different person. He changed drastically and stepped away from directly chasing success and started applying his learning skills to learning more about his influence on others and how to interact, work with and to connect with others at a deeper level. It wasn’t until he was able to get past the confidence shield that self-discovery was even available to him.
So, with having a new appreciation for no limits learning, it became a much more valuable area in life and the realization that the best things to learn and experience are only available when he gets past his own limits, whether they are known or not. Often the limiting beliefs are unknown without stepping out of the common safety box we live in and seek out adversity, challenges and all the other skinny branches of life. He put this into action and started taking on new things not previously explored and putting his opinions on the back burner in order to have a more open mind for new activities and connections with people. It was in these new adventures, new challenges and areas previously unexplored in life that really helped him to enjoy more, learn more and experience the best things in life.
With all these changes, the change itself actually becomes the journey of his life, since the value of change becomes more and more apparent he’s realized that it is the one factor that limits people more than anything else. His own shift has changed him, created new beliefs around the fact that change is required to create opportunities, experiences and improvements in life and should not be avoided. If improvements come about from change, then to improve is to change. Both for himself as a person and in how he can impact the world, these beliefs have changed and the fear and limiting beliefs around it have faded away and completely out of mind and consideration. His now strong beliefs in the ability to change is what makes improvement and personal development easier for him. And he knows this is necessary to impact the world. It’s this ability to go against the grain, learn from it and eliminate the fears of facing new challenges and instead learning from them. This same belief bleeds out to the process of changing the world and improving it as well.
Morals of the story:
- Success should never be measured by self achievement or at a single point in time
- Confidence is the biggest shield against self discovery
- The “skinny branches” in life are where the fruit is
- The belief of change enables changing the world
Prev: My eBook Released! Building Better Relationships
Next: 70 Reminders to Help You Break Any Barrier
April 9th, 2010 at 9:13 AM
Nice story Mike. I enjoy reading about a personal development journey. And I believe that if done right, the journey is as enjoyable than the destination. After all, you’re on the journey of growth for years, and at the destination for minutes 😉
April 9th, 2010 at 7:09 PM
Thanks so much Eduard, I’ve mentioned and written about story telling many times but realized I haven’t written stories much as my articles. It was fun, for sure!
April 9th, 2010 at 9:39 PM
Interesting! Great post, and I totally agree. While it’s great to be confident in ourselves vs having low self esteem, we shouldn’t be too confident that we stop learning about ourselves and growing. The day that we think we’ve arrived is a sad day, because it’s the day that we stop growing and learning.
Great post Mike! Thanks for sharing!
April 9th, 2010 at 11:54 PM
@Jarrod Well said indeed my friend. Only afterwards can we realize how our own confidence was blocking us from self-discovery
April 10th, 2010 at 2:23 AM
Very impactful post, Mike. We see this so often in day to day life too. Corporate bigwigs are always so focused on the much touted bottom line that they don’t spare a second to realize life is passing them by. All that money and success doesn’t get time to be enjoyed or appreciated fully if one doesn’t stop to take it all in once in a while.
Till then,
Jean
April 10th, 2010 at 10:03 AM
This was a real eye-opening post! I am sharing this with everyone I know…
April 10th, 2010 at 12:56 PM
@usedtires and @MichaelH
Thanks so much for your comments on this story and thanks for helping to spread it to those you know. It’s much appreciated!
April 11th, 2010 at 12:35 PM
Mike, I think we can all relate to finding out that success and achievement can only take us so far. We have to get beyond success, to significance, before continued learning can be satisfying. Significance=meaning + goals anchored to a mission (at least for me:)
April 11th, 2010 at 2:39 PM
Wow. I love your last name. I found value in this post Mike. I found that most of the people I meet that are going agaisnt the grain, may at first appear to be the outcast or misunderstood, but when following their true path they generally come out on top with great success to show for it. It really is all about being true to oneself and following through admist any adversity or challenge. Valuable post here. Thank you.
April 11th, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Hello Mike.
“It was in these new adventures, new challenges and areas previously unexplored in life that really helped him to enjoy more, learn more and experience the best things in life.”
I’ve always loved learning and always will. But for many years I got stuck in a narrowly focused area. I finally realized how much I was missing by staying so narrowly focused and when I broadened my possibilities a whole new world opened up to me.
Certainly we can’t do without the deeply specialized expertise some people have but I hold the idea of a polymath as much more of an ideal nowadays.
As one simple example I used to care not a wit about learning skills for interacting with and connecting with others. Now I realize I was missing one of the most important things in life.
Well done!
April 11th, 2010 at 6:31 PM
@Steve – If only I had learned that lesson earlier in life, but because I didn’t I’ll have to add that I think you are only right in that we all have that to learn but we don’t all come to realize this early in life. Your formula is spot on however, and I agree with it for myself as well.
@Baker – Absolutely agree and you’ve captured the point succinctly. The things learned from challenges comes about from going against the grain, yes!
@Stephen – Thanks for your personal story as example here. It is so true and I have many many similar to relate with where I have turned 180° from what I used to think mattered to me. I appreciate the comments!
April 12th, 2010 at 9:09 AM
Hi Mike how have you been?
Impeccable timing of this insightful post Mike.
I just recently have slowly recovered from a serious car accident and now I can get back to reading my favourite blogs. 🙂
So the experience of the car accident has really allowed me to re-focus my perspective in life and what is truly “important” to me
It was a difficult and uncomfortable change while recovering but my will to live and enjoy life has been rejuvenated.
Moreover, there was a “bright” light amidst post accident events, which is witnessing the birth of our baby girl “Mikayla” this past week.
What an exhilarating and incredible feeling to see a precious new life arriving into this world.
I have a new appreciation for life and everything it has to offer.
April 12th, 2010 at 5:29 PM
@Vincent – I always love when those timing events surface for a reader hear and while I’m very sorry to hear about your car accident I’m glad to learn that you are looking for the beautiful events in its midst and so congratulations on the baby girl! I’m sure the accident will steer you (no pun indended) towards a deeper sense of realizing how your daughter now has a new priority in life and that her life (as well as your own) is precious to protect, value and utilize in the best way you can every day you have. I appreciate very much the personal story and welcome back, its great to read from you again and that you are blogging again more regularly!
April 13th, 2010 at 1:30 AM
Thank you for your supportive thoughts Mike
Much appreciated 🙂
Looking forward to our thoughtful conversations, which always makes my day feel better.
April 14th, 2010 at 9:40 AM
Dear Mike, this is a fascinating story because so many people strive to become confident, and as you say confidence can be a good thing, but it can also hinder us if we only do that which makes us feel confident.
I think it’s why I love stepping out of my comfort zone. Even though I can feel uncomfortable outside my comfort zone and at times not particularly confident, it keeps me humble and always growing. It also keeps me filled with compassion in that I better understand those around me who suffer from extreme fear, anxiety, low confidence, etc.
Since leaving the rainforest many years ago I’ve tended to be quite confident. It comes easily to me. So doing things that don’t come as easily or challenge my confidence help me better understand humanity. I like that, because it also makes me feel more connected to humanity.
Mike, thank you for sharing this. And also thank you for sincere kindness. It means a lot to me. Hugs, Robin
April 14th, 2010 at 5:14 PM
Thanks Vincent, I look forward to it as well. Perhaps I need to add a threaded comment display here in my theme for making that better. Hmmmm, future. Future…
@Robin – THanks for your thoughts here Robin on comfort zone. It’s a area in life we are both very passionate about and I agree completely with your comments in that area. I development my love for discomfort through spirit of adventure though not a rainforest (which I think is very cool) but the result sounds similar in the way of mindset.
This story of confidence is a bit of a different way to look at things since so often confidence is simply explained as such a great thing to have. I didn’t even touch of how risky it can be to leading to arrogance, that is another danger, perhaps for another article.
Anyway, I appreciate the provoking thoughts you’ve added here.
April 25th, 2010 at 2:24 AM
I really love that phrase / metaphor that the skinny branches in life are where all the fruit is. A perfect description.
April 30th, 2010 at 8:30 AM
I never heard that before, Richard, but it sure is a great phrase and so true for most instances in life.
Till then,
Jean
May 3rd, 2010 at 12:40 PM
That is a great short story. There is a whole lot of truth in it as well. While he was a good learner, he had no personal skills. I have been lucky in that my mother made me quite the conversation started and because of that I have been able to get jobs I wasn’t qualified for but excelled at them when given the chance.
May 4th, 2010 at 7:55 PM
@Richard – I picked it up in part at a leadership training course all about getting WAY outside your comfort zone and the phrase now specifically with “where the fruit is” has stuck with me. I too, quite like it and use it often.
@sell – I’m glad you enjoyed the story. Its very interesting to see how people relate different aspects of their own lives to it. Nicely done!
February 21st, 2014 at 8:01 PM
Nice article. It’s not unusual to focus so much on ourselves in a selfish way, and forget to contribute to others.
As for “Confidence is the biggest shield against self discovery”, it’s probably true. I have heard it many times in Christianity (and maybe in other spiritual movements).